By Salome Wilde (Guest Blogger)
As the editor of the recent anthology Shakespearotica: Queering the Bard, I could offer a bawdy overview with tempting excerpts. But you can find that on the publisher’s website, and it hardly makes for an original or exciting blog post. Instead, I invite you to take
The Shakespearotica Personality Quiz!
For the following ten questions, choose the answer that most closely matches your personal preference. Your results will lead to a characterization (based on five character types found in Shakespearotica) and a prediction for your best chance of a lustfully ever after. And if you post a comment with your results below, you’ll be entered for a chance to win a Shakespearotica eBook!
1. Favorite kind of movie to lose yourself in?
a. High fantasy
b. Noir thrillers
c. Queer cinema
2. Best place for a first date?
a. The wilds of nature
b. Somewhere dark and dangerous
c. Drag show
d. My place, your place, any place!
e. A nice restaurant with no pressure
3. What might you wear on that first date?
a. If possible, I’d go sky clad!
c. Depends on which gender suits me best that day.
d. Something easily removed.
e. Jeans and shirt, something casual, though I might rethink it a lot.
4. How do you express emotions?
a. With glee and abandon!
b. I play my cards close to the chest, always.
c. However they come to me.
d. I keep it light. No point getting serious over trifles.
e. I try not to let too much show, but my heart might give me away.
5. What's the best solution to an argument?
a. I win, but you will never feel you’ve lost.
b. Revenge, served cold.
c. Why argue when there are so many other choices?
e. I do all I can to avoid arguments.
6. Favorite character from the Wizard of Oz?
a. Glinda, the Good Witch
b. The Wicked Witch of the West
c. The Wizard—such a trickster!
d. I always envision the Scarecrow, the Tinman and the Lion having a threesome.
(Does that answer your question?)
(Does that answer your question?)
7. Which chess piece are you?
a. Queen: Freedom and power.
b. King: It’s all about me.
c. Bishop: Why go straight when there are diagonals?
d. Knight: Mount that horse, baby!
e. Pawn: I like to blend in.
8. What does your laugh sound like?
a. Full-throated and free
b. Evil and low
c. My boyish laugh or my girly laugh?
d. A lot like orgasm.
e. Quiet but sincere.
9. Favorite ice cream flavor from the following?
a. Rainbow sherbet
b. Dark chocolate
c. Tutti Frutti
d. Whatever flavor you’re licking off my body.
e. Vanilla, but with real vanilla bean and maybe some sprinkles.
10. The sounds a lover most often hears from you during sex:
a. Wild cries of passion
b. Grunts and groans and low-throated moans
c. Depends on the lover, and my mood
d. Come on over and find out.
e. Too shy to tell you…or maybe I don’t know yet.
You're done! Hope you enjoyed the ride! Now count your answers by letter and use the following guide:
Mostly a: Hoorah! You’re the King or Queen of the Fairies (as portrayed in Louisa Bacio’s story “All Pucked Up: A Midsummer Night’s Romp”). An erotic force to be reckoned with, you claim what you want with gusto and have the magic to keep your lovers coming back for more.
Mostly b: Grrr! You’re a dark, daring monster (like Iago, from Penelope Addams’s “For Love or Duty”) or a trespasser of boundaries (like Iago’s wife Emilia, as depicted in Salome Wilde’s “The Ills We Do”). Determined and possessive, your desires require satisfaction, on demand. Such need may be your undoing, but it’ll be a hot and heavy ride to the underworld!
Mostly c: Yummy! You’re the gender/sex outlaw (like the crossdressing heroine of Laila Black’s “Smoke Signals” and trans character Rosalind/Ross in Tilly Hunter’s space opera “As We Like It: A Romance”). Your needs reach beyond binaries, and sometimes right out into space. May you always find all you need by never yielding to demands to be less than you are.
Mostly d: Hello, plaything! Anything goes with you, and so it should (like the playful theatrical threesomes in Rob Rosen’s “A Tight to Remember” and Jean Roberta’s “A Well-Placed Pinch,” not to mention Caesar’s gay trio of guards in Wes Hartley’s “The Buttboy of Nicomedes.”) To stay happy, keep giving in to those desires for more, more, more!
Mostly e: Purr! You’re the sweet and sensitive type (like the young man who plays women’s roles in Anna Black’s “By Any Other Name” and the shy actor in Caitlin Ricci’s “Much Ado About a Kiss”). Others may be bolder than you, but when you at last break out of your shell, bliss will surely ensue!
A mix of a-e: If your letters don't line up, perhaps you're not a type at all! Consider yourself an engaging blend, celebrate your uniqueness, or simply claim the type you like best. After all, these personality quizzes are just for fun, and I hope you've had some with this one.
Please share your results and thoughts in the comments! Lisabet will choose one lucky winner at random to receive a PDF eBook of Shakespearotica: Queering the Bard from comments received by April 9th.
Want to know more about Salome Wilde? She can be found at www.salandtalerotica.com, on Facebook or on Twitter @salomewilde.