By Salome Wilde (Guest Blogger)
As the editor of the recent anthology
Shakespearotica: Queering the Bard, I could offer a bawdy
overview with tempting excerpts. But you can find that on the
publisher’s website,
and it hardly makes for an original or exciting blog post. Instead,
I invite you to take
The Shakespearotica
Personality Quiz!
For the following ten questions, choose
the answer that most closely matches your personal preference. Your
results will lead to a characterization (based on five character
types found in Shakespearotica) and a prediction for your best
chance of a lustfully ever after. And if you post a comment with
your results below, you’ll be entered for a chance to win a
Shakespearotica eBook!
1. Favorite kind of
movie to lose yourself in?
a. High fantasy
b. Noir thrillers
c. Queer cinema
d. Porn
e. Romance
2. Best place for a
first date?
a. The wilds of
nature
b. Somewhere dark and
dangerous
c. Drag show
d. My place, your
place, any place!
e. A nice restaurant
with no pressure
3. What might you
wear on that first date?
a. If possible, I’d
go sky clad!
b. Black.
c. Depends on which
gender suits me best that day.
d. Something easily
removed.
e. Jeans and shirt,
something casual, though I might rethink it a lot.
4. How do you
express emotions?
a. With glee and
abandon!
b. I play my cards
close to the chest, always.
c. However they come
to me.
d. I keep it light.
No point getting serious over trifles.
e. I try not to let
too much show, but my heart might give me away.
5. What's the best
solution to an argument?
a. I win, but you
will never feel you’ve lost.
b. Revenge, served
cold.
c. Why argue when
there are so many other choices?
d. Sex!
e. I do all I can to
avoid arguments.
6. Favorite
character from the Wizard of Oz?
a. Glinda, the Good
Witch
b. The Wicked Witch
of the West
c. The Wizard—such
a trickster!
d. I always envision
the Scarecrow, the Tinman and the Lion having a threesome.
(Does that answer your question?)
(Does that answer your question?)
e. Dorothy
7. Which chess
piece are you?
a. Queen: Freedom and
power.
b. King: It’s all
about me.
c. Bishop: Why go
straight when there are diagonals?
d. Knight: Mount that
horse, baby!
e. Pawn: I like to
blend in.
8. What does your
laugh sound like?
a. Full-throated and
free
b. Evil and low
c. My boyish laugh or
my girly laugh?
d. A lot like orgasm.
e. Quiet but sincere.
9. Favorite ice
cream flavor from the following?
a. Rainbow sherbet
b. Dark chocolate
c. Tutti Frutti
d. Whatever flavor
you’re licking off my body.
e. Vanilla, but with
real vanilla bean and maybe some sprinkles.
10. The sounds a
lover most often hears from you during sex:
a. Wild cries of
passion
b. Grunts and groans
and low-throated moans
c. Depends on the
lover, and my mood
d. Come on over and
find out.
e. Too shy to tell
you…or maybe I don’t know yet.
You're done! Hope you enjoyed the
ride! Now count your answers by letter and use the following guide:
Mostly a: Hoorah! You’re
the King or Queen of the Fairies (as portrayed in Louisa Bacio’s
story “All Pucked Up: A Midsummer Night’s Romp”). An erotic
force to be reckoned with, you claim what you want with gusto and
have the magic to keep your lovers coming back for more.
Mostly b: Grrr! You’re
a dark, daring monster (like Iago, from Penelope Addams’s “For
Love or Duty”) or a trespasser of boundaries (like Iago’s wife
Emilia, as depicted in Salome Wilde’s “The Ills We Do”).
Determined and possessive, your desires require satisfaction, on
demand. Such need may be your undoing, but it’ll be a hot and
heavy ride to the underworld!
Mostly c: Yummy! You’re
the gender/sex outlaw (like the crossdressing heroine of Laila
Black’s “Smoke Signals” and trans character Rosalind/Ross in
Tilly Hunter’s space opera “As We Like It: A Romance”). Your
needs reach beyond binaries, and sometimes right out into space. May
you always find all you need by never yielding to demands to be less
than you are.
Mostly d: Hello,
plaything! Anything goes with you, and so it should (like the playful
theatrical threesomes in Rob Rosen’s “A Tight to Remember” and
Jean Roberta’s “A Well-Placed Pinch,” not to mention Caesar’s
gay trio of guards in Wes Hartley’s “The Buttboy of Nicomedes.”)
To stay happy, keep giving in to those desires for more, more, more!
Mostly e: Purr! You’re
the sweet and sensitive type (like the young man who plays women’s
roles in Anna Black’s “By Any Other Name” and the shy actor in
Caitlin Ricci’s “Much Ado About a Kiss”). Others may be bolder
than you, but when you at last break out of your shell, bliss will
surely ensue!
A mix of a-e: If your
letters don't line up, perhaps you're not a type at all! Consider
yourself an engaging blend, celebrate your uniqueness, or simply
claim the type you like best. After all, these personality quizzes
are just for fun, and I hope you've had some with this one.
Please share your results and thoughts
in the comments! Lisabet will choose one lucky winner at random to
receive a PDF eBook of Shakespearotica: Queering the Bard from
comments received by April 9th.
Want to know more about Salome Wilde?
She can be found at www.salandtalerotica.com,
on Facebook
or on Twitter @salomewilde.
