Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Finding Happiness with Your Spouse

By Anita Philmar (Guest Blogger)

Looking for the secret to a happy marriage? Here are some suggestions from my experience!

Share a common dream – when two people joined together to reach a unified goal. It connects them in ways that inspires trust. This can be as simple as planning a vacation or deciding on a new car, or as big as having a family.

Choose each other as your first family – once two people get married they both need to remember that the other person should now become their main concern. This is not to say you avoid his or her family but that you need time alone together.

Learn how to fight right – It can be easy to take your stress out on your spouse. Try to recognize those times when you are not at your best, then warn your partner you need time to regroup before discussing certain subjects.
Find a balance between time for two and time for you – Just because you are now with someone doesn’t mean you can’t have time for yourself. Each of you came into the relationship with interest that attracted the other. You still need that creative outlet to fuel your soul. Give yourself the time for yourself so you can be the person your spouse fell in love with.

Build a best friendship – if the two of you can become best friends then you’ll be closer to achieve the relationship you both want and can face down the major challenge in your life together.

When writing my books I try to take these things into account. In Hot Prairie Nights, the couple come together to run Elizabeth Murphy’s ranch, but there is so much more involved than just a common goal.

It’s a hard life living on the western plains. Elizabeth Murphy knows she lives it every day.

Then just like some medieval knight in shining armor, a stranger arrives at her door. He claims to be a friend, who is down on his luck and looking for work.

Just looking at him sets her body on fire, and with them sharing a small log cabin, the nights are bound to heat up. Can she resist the chance to take a ride with the cowboy? Or should she trust him at all?

After all, he thinks wearing a shirt is an optional item and he knows way too many facts about her dead gun slinging husband.


The thought didn’t inspire warmth. Instead, she lifted her gun. “My husband was a gun-slinging gambler. He didn’t have the most reputable friends.”

A slight smirk passed over the man’s lips. He nodded. “Yes, but I knew him as a child back in Oklahoma. Heath Holmes is the name. I’m sure Daniel mentioned me once or twice.”

The name did sound familiar. What had Daniel said about Heath?

She licked her lips and fought the hunger to see this man’s strong muscular body naked and up close. She stared at his mount to gather more information. His black horse had the markings of a thoroughbred. The detail design of his saddle, and the rich quality of the man’s clothes spoke of someone who had money. So why visit her here?

I recall the name, but Daniel didn’t particularly enjoy his childhood. His mother didn’t provide him with a great upbringing.” Lizzy lowered her gun to her waist but kept the barrel pointed at Heath. Could she trust him?

True, at times he would have starved, if not for my family, but then with six mouths to feed, what was one more?” Heath swung his leg over the saddle and stepped down from his horse, and turned.

Lizzie’s mouth watered and her palms slipped on the gun. She rested the butt of her rifle on the porch railing for fear of firing it off accidentally. Thoughts of what Daniel has said about his youth warred with her desire to get to know Heath better. Her gaze slid down his six foot frame, broad shoulders, full chest, trim waist, and thick thighs. Nothing about him seemed to hint at him not being able to take on any task.

Right, Daniel did mention his mother’s love of whiskey and how your family was his saving grace.” Lizzy waved him over to the barn. “Why don’t you unsaddle your horse and put him in the corral? There’s a pump next to the water trough if you want to clean up and stay a spell?”

Pick up Hot Prairie Nights for free, everywhere

About Anita

Anita Philmar likes to create stories that push the limit. A writer by day and a dreamer by night she wants her readers to see the world in a new way.
Influenced by sci-fi programs, she likes to develop places where anything can happen and where erotic moments come to life in a great read.

Naughty or Nice?

Read her books and decide.

Email: anitaphilmar [at] yahoo [dot] com


Lisabet Sarai said...

Welcome to Beyond Romance, Anita.

Having been married for 33 years now, I definitely agree with your suggestions. My husband and I made a pact early in our relationship, that being together was important and that we wouldn't make choices (e.g. taking jobs at a distance from one another) that would require us to spend a lot of time apart.

Maybe the most important thing, though - have fun with one another. Keep the light touch, a bit of humor, a hint of childhood. That will get you through hard times.

Good luck with Hot Prairie Nights, by the way. I've got to go announce it to my readers.

Unknown said...

Hi Anita:
Like your suggestions. I'd add one more: find a way to keep the romance alive. For all their blessing children kill intimacy. We've never had the back-up or the money to do getaways. Our sex life together is stolen moments in the dark and under the covers, but we've stayed connected. The idea of all this BDSM stuff that Lisabet features is like visiting another planet for me.

Best wishes

Unknown said...

Great post and I liked the excerpt.
I agree with all those tips! Next week will be our 9 year anniversary. I agree with the young kids and no money, you make those times to sneak in those moments. Thanks for sharing!

Unknown said...

Great post and I liked the excerpt.
I agree with all those tips! Next week will be our 9 year anniversary. I agree with the young kids and no money, you make those times to sneak in those moments. Thanks for sharing!

Fiona McGier said...

31 years here and counting. When our kids were young, we'd put them to bed, then it was "playtime." We made videos, complete with plots my husband wrote for us to act out. We pretended to be at a sex club, and acted as if we were different people. We had lots of fun, and it didn't matter that the babies were sleeping right upstairs, since they were all sound sleepers. Plus I booked us suites at the local Sybarris hotel (an upscale no-tell motel chain in the Midwest) so many years in a row (they offer "afternoon nap rates) that I have a lifetime membership card! ;-D

Being best friends is a huge plus. Having compatible goals and dreams is important also, but so is being compatible in bed. No lie, sex is important to a great marriage.

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