'Cause
it seems like you've gotta give up
Such a piece of your soul
When you give up the chase
Feeling it hot and cold
You're in Rock'n'Roll
It's the nature of the race
It's the unknown child
So sweet and wild
It's youth
It's too good to waste
Such a piece of your soul
When you give up the chase
Feeling it hot and cold
You're in Rock'n'Roll
It's the nature of the race
It's the unknown child
So sweet and wild
It's youth
It's too good to waste
-
Joni Mitchell, "The Blonde
in the Bleachers"
I
was a senior in high school. He was my classmate, the lead singer in
a Doors tribute band. He didn't really look much like Jim Morrison
but he had that wiry rock 'n roll build, verging on emaciation, like
he never ate a square meal - like he survived on pure music. He had
narrow hips like Jim's, fingers splayed and battered by his guitar
strings, a wild cloud of coal-black hair. With the arrogance of
youth, he dubbed himself the Lizard King.
I
only kissed him once, at a party the night before graduation, but
during the previous year I had watched him play many times. I was
seduced by the mystery of rock and roll. Not by the glamor - there
wasn't much glamor about a pimply high school kid - but by the sense
that rock musicians, my schoolmate included, were some sort of fey
creatures, half-angel, half-devil. Creatures with power. They could
make you sweat and yearn. They could make you dance even when you
swore you wouldn't. Rock and roll had a kind of irresistible, dark
magic. Its danger was enticing. It could sweep you away.
I
was swept away that night, standing on the dam by the reservoir,
tasting his lips for the first and last time, feeling his hands. How
many kisses do you remember forty years after the fact? I do
remember, remarkably clearly: the mild June night, the wind tangling
our hair together, the sense of transgression and of inevitability.
Just a few kisses, nothing more, but it's one of my most erotic
recollections.
Sex,
drugs and rock 'n roll. I don't know about the drugs part, but nobody
has to tell you that rock and roll is about sex. Morrison sings,
"Come on baby, light my fire." Lennon belts out, "Why
don't we do it in the road?" Jagger complains, "I can't
get no satisfaction." We all knew what they were talking about,
even when we were clueless teenage virgins. Bare chests and gyrating
pelvises reinforced the message, but even without the visual
reminders, the lyrics and the music make it clear. We're not talkin'
about Platonic love, baby.
Sexual
energy isn't the only draw of rock and roll, of course. There's the
beat that takes you over, dives into your belly and loosens your
limbs. I'm convinced that the drums wake some sort of ancestral
memory, readying us for tribal ritual. Of course, that ritual might
have been tied up with sex as well.
A
few years ago I read Keith Richard's biography, Life. I found
the book both entertaining and enlightening. There's a surprisingly
candid account of Richard's heroin addiction. (The Stones definitely
celebrated to the "drugs" part of the unholy trinity.) The
stories that amaze me, though, are the accounts of how fabulous songs
seemingly came out of nowhere, how classic recordings were caught in
one take. Spontaneous genius. Revelation. Like I said, half-angels.
The
flip side is that Richards spent his whole life immersed in music. He
started playing guitar when he was in elementary school (right after
World War II, before rock and roll really existed). He sang in a
choir before his voice broke. He quit school and dedicated his life
to studying and dissecting the blues. The Rolling Stones were
originally a blues band. Who knew?
So,
the flashes of sudden brilliance seem sudden and miraculous, but the
foundations had been laid a long time before. When you live and
breathe music, your conscious and unconscious seething with melody,
rhythm, and rhyme, it's not completely surprising that insights and
inspiration bubble to the surface.
It's
not all that different from spending your entire life immersed in
books and one day vomiting up a novel.
I've
never written a story about rock and roll. To be honest, I'm afraid I
couldn't capture the magic. I'm not a musician myself. I can imagine
what it must be like, up on the stage, energy flowing in an endless
circuit from one member of the band to the next, flying higher than
any drug can take you. But I really don't know if I can make it real,
convincing - if I can seduce my readers the way I've been seduced.
And
I'm an old fart now, with so many aches and pains that dancing
requires an anesthetic. Joni sings, "It's youth; it's too good
to waste." I'm grateful that I didn't waste mine, but as the
Starship wrote in "Love Rusts", "Youth is something
you can't hold on to long".
The
music still gets to me, though. We'll be in a bar, having a quiet
drink, when the DJ will put on "Under My Thumb", or "Hurts
So Good" (John Mellencamp), or "Life in the Fast Lane".
And I can't sit still. I'll toss my purse in my husband's lap and
jump up into the aisle. I'll pay for it later, physically, but I
can't say no to rock and roll.
You
know what Bob Seger sings: "You can come back, baby. Rock and
roll never forgets." Of course that song also includes "Now
sweet sixteen turns thirty one". Thirty one is way back in my
past! Still, I haven't become immune to thrill, the buzz, the
spectacular way that great rock can turn you on.
I
hope that I never do.
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