To Joni Mitchell
It's
barely seven. The crystalline sky shades from indigo in the west to
powder blue in the east, where the sun has already climbed above the
horizon. The parched air still makes me shiver in my denim jacket. I
know that won't last long; I'll be sweating by eight thirty.
Empty
highway stretches to the horizon, to my left and right, ruler
straight, a crisp black line stitching across the endless scrub. The
land is shades of gold and amber in the lemony morning light,
punctuated by pomegranate shadows where a boulder pokes through the
thin soil. An occasional saguaro raises its dusty arms. It's a
gray-green caricature of me with my thumb out, waving down my next
ride.
The
pick-up is visible from miles away, the only vehicle on this pristine
morning road. I watch its progress, as it grows from a red dot to a
rust-eaten hulk of steel with a Chevy logo above the radiator. I
wait, breathing deeply, calming my racing pulse. Either he'll stop,
or he won't. It doesn't matter.
He
pulls over with a squeal and checks me out through the cranked down
window. “Young girl like you shouldn't be hitching out here, all
alone. It's not safe.”
I
favor him with my sweetest smile. “I can take care of myself. Can
you give me a ride?” His face is in shadow but I like his voice,
deep and slow like the earth shifting under those mountains huddling
off to the right.
“Sure.
Where you headed?”
I
name a town some three hundred miles to the west. “You going that
far?”
“Lady,
I'm going all the way to LA!” His laugh tumbles out, free, somehow
innocent. “Climb aboard.”
After
tossing my duffel into the back of the truck, I clamber up to the
bench seat. He's off the shoulder and onto the pavement almost before
I can close the door. I lurch, slamming into his arm. Heat shimmers
through me, though the air outside hasn't lost its chill.
“Sorry!”
His grin is crooked. So is his nose, a bit, but he has a rough-hewn,
solid quality about his face that appeals to me. “I've gotta be in
Tarzana by the day after tomorrow for my brother's wedding. Guess I'm
feeling the time pressure, a bit.”
“Never
mind. Are you sure you want a rider?I don't want to slow you down.”
“Naw,
that's fine. I like having the company. Keeps me from getting bored.
I'm Dale, by the way.”
I
tell him my name is Amy. It could be, after all.
“Pleased
to meet you, Amy.” He doesn't offer to shake. The speedometer's
grazing ninety but despite that, he's a careful driver, both hands on
the wheel most of the time. I find myself examining those hands,
which are blunt-fingered and dusted with gold-brown hair, probably
calloused from manual labor. He strikes me as a rancher type, or
maybe a carpenter.
“I've
got a hardware store in North Platte,” he tells me as we burn up
the highway. “Can't really afford to take a week off, but Jim's my
only family. What can I do? I know he'd come to my wedding.”
No
band on those strong, stubby fingers. Not that it would matter.
After
our introductions, we sit in companionable silence as the scenery
flies by. He doesn't ask about me. He's got good manners, my speed
demon driver. I'm pleased. I don't like to lie.
The
sun climbs and we start to bake. I peel off my jacket, then my
flannel shirt. He glances over. My nipples make noticeable peaks in
my white tee. They wind into tighter knots as his eyes rake over me.
The crotch of my jeans is soaked. He doesn't make a move. Polite,
like I said. I know he feels the tension though, crackling through
the cab. There's a visible lump in his denim work pants. He makes
little noises of discomfort on the few occasions that he needs to
work the clutch or the brake.
We've
got the windows cranked wide. The hot desert air steals the moisture
from my lips and whips my hair into wild tangles. He turns on some
oldies station and songs from my mom's era blast out,
“Satisfaction”, “Thunder Road”, “Life in the Fast Lane”.
He's singing along, but the wind carries the words away.
I
lean back against the sticky upholstery, close my eyes, listen to the
music and the wind. Quiet lust hums through me, beating like a second
heart between my thighs. I savor the only peace I know, the anonymous
blessing of the endless road.
We
don't stop. Together, we devour the miles. He has water in the truck,
and sandwiches. We eat while he drives, pretending to ignore the
sparks that shoot through us when our hands touch. I offer to spell
him but he shakes his head. “I like to be in control,” he tells
me. Lightning sizzles up my spine, sweet anticipation of a coming
storm.
The
sky overhead is a translucent teal when we finally pull in to the
truck stop. I head for the toilet while he gasses up. He pays the
motel clerk in cash, for one room. We don't discuss it at all. I
smile at him, making myself as pretty as I'm able. I'm grateful and I
want him to know it.
The
room smells of mold and cigarette smoke overlaid with air freshener.
Familiar, comforting. The drooping beige patterned drapes, the
dun-green carpet, the fake pine paneling – I've been here before,
haven't I? But this is the furthest west I've made it, so far.
He
throws the deadbolt and we turn to one another in silent agreement. I
make the first move, however, reaching up to pull his lips to mine.
They're firm and sure, meeting me halfway, pushing beyond. His tongue
in my mouth is ruder, more demanding, than I'd expected. Those
hardware store hands roam over my body as we kiss, dragging up my
shirt, worming into my jeans, fumbling with my zipper. I savor the
hardness of him, everywhere, his rough fingers, his chest, the thigh
nudging mine apart - not just the eager lump grinding against my
mons.
Still kissing, we
grope each other like teenagers. The heat of the long
day driving has soaked into our pores. We're fevered and hungry.
We
break our clinch to throw off the remains of our clothing. He's got
muscles, but a bit of a paunch, too, a little softness that I don't
mind at all. And hair, lots of it, brown curls on his chest,
meandering down his belly to the thicket around his cock, solid as
the rest of him. He bears me down onto the sagging mattress, grabs my
wrists and holds them above my head while he drives into me.
There's
no preparation, no foreplay, but that doesn't matter. I've been
dripping and ready for hours. His cock in my cunt is everything I
crave: pleasure, connection, oblivion.
Neither
of us lasts long. We race up the slope to climax, biting and clawing,
pelvises slamming together. We both want it faster, harder, deeper.
He waits till I come, though, before he lets go. Woozy with delight,
with my pussy fluttering around him like some sea creature, I'm still
astonished when he pulls out. He sprays his jizz all over my breasts
and belly. Then he collapses on top of my sated, sticky form.
We
clean up, separately, in the rust-stained shower stall. He treats me
to steak and beer at the diner next door to the motel. We sit in the
booth, on the same bench, our thighs touching, floating on the cloud
of new intimacy. The blowsy waitress gives me a complicit wink. Dale
tells me about his Nebraska childhood, his reckless younger brother,
the wife who died of cancer two years after they married. I spin him
tales of my college years, my poems, my travels, a fantasy laced with
strands of truth.
Back
in our room, tipsy with beer and fresh lust, we fuck again. This
time it's slow and sweet. There's time to feel every inch of him,
sliding over my aching clit, through my slick folds, to settle in my
cunt. His fingers trace the welts he left in our first coupling. He
murmurs apologies; I kiss them away. After what feels like hours of
bliss, we come together. His cock erupts inside me, inside the condom
he bought in the diner men's room. His heat floods me, bears me away
to some quiet, sparkling place where there's nothing but the beat of
our hearts.
We
cuddle together afterward, drifting toward sleep. “Amy,” he
murmurs, licking my earlobe. “Maybe you'd like to come with me? To
LA? We'd have a great time, girl...” His voice trails off into a
yawn.
“Maybe,”
I whisper, something cracking open in my chest. “Let's talk
tomorrow.” He's already snoring.
I
wake at five, when the first hint of dawn filters through the
lopsided curtains, and dress as silently as I can. Dale's still
rocking on the currents of his dreams. He lies curled on his side,
arms drawn in to his chest. I have the urge to stroke my palm over
the golden down on his back, to plant one last kiss on his pale
buttocks. I don't give in.
Donning
my sneakers outside the door, I hoist my duffel onto my shoulder and
head for the highway. I walk back, retracing our path for at least a
mile, before I stop and put my bag down. I don't want Dale to pass me
on his way west.
I'm
hungry. I can't tell if the sensation is physical or emotional.
I
watch the eastern sky brighten from ash-gray to pearl to peach. I
fill my lungs with the crisp scent of sagebrush. My pussy tingles
whenever the seam of my jeans grazes my clit. The road sweeps away
from me in both directions, a graceful ribbon of darkness in the
ripening dawn, a river of possibility. Calm settles on my restless
spirit.
Humming
a song from the seventies, I stick out my thumb.
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