From
a distance you look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
What all this fighting’s for....
Even though we are at war
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
What all this fighting’s for....
~
Bette Midler, “From a Distance”
Just
before I entered my senior year in high school, humans walked on the
moon for the first time. With my long-time love of both science and
science fiction, I was jubilant. The stars beckoned. Anything was
possible.
Only
months later, the Ohio National Guard fatally shot four Kent State
University students protesting the Vietnam war.
Looking
back, I cannot recall how I reconciled the elation and the horror
stemming from these two events, though I know both affected me
deeply.
We
believed, back then, in the inevitable revolution. Things would never
be the same. “The time’s they are a-changing,” Dylan sang, and
we believed. We looked to a new world of love and peace, freedom and
justice and moral responsibility. The Age of Aquarius.
Things
didn’t quite turn out that way.
Well,
the times did change. They always do. We impeached a president. We
waited in long lines for rationed gas. We danced to Saturday Night
Fever. We watched the stock market crash, rise and crash again.
Hijacked
planes toppled the twin towers and claimed three thousand lives.
Nightmare waves scoured the coasts of the Indian Ocean, killing two
hundred thousand. Having finally quit the jungles of Vietnam, U.S.
soldiers occupied the deserts of Iraq and Afghanistan.
We
elected a black man to the Oval Office—twice. We cloned sheep,
transplanted hearts, sequenced our own DNA and that of our animal
cousins. We haven’t walked on Mars yet, but our robots have. We
know there’s certainly water on the Red Planet, and probably some
form of life.
My
siblings had kids, who grew up, graduated high school, went to
college. My parents left the earth, after bountiful lives no one
could call short. A dear friend succumbed to ovarian cancer at fifty
two. Two of my former lovers committed suicide.
Technology
followed the science fiction of my youth. Computers shrank to the
size of match boxes. It became more and more difficult to distinguish
fact from deliberate fabrication.
My
spirituality is eclectic, but I do believe the Buddha’s teaching
that everything is transient. Suffering derives from attachment, the
attempt to resist changing circumstances.
Through
the distance of six and a half decades, I find comfort in the
constant cycles of change. No matter how horrible things appear right
now, they’ll be different tomorrow, or next week, or next year. Of
course this also means more hard times may be coming, but they will
eventually fade away as well.
The
only reality (again according to the Buddha), the key to breaking the
chains of illusion, is compassion. That’s my focus now, in these
latter days of my life. I am trying to release the hate and anger
stirred up so effectively by today’s media. I don’t want to sweat
the small stuff, but to do justice and love kindness and refrain from
judgment if I can. I am trying, with mixed success, to be a center of
peace, radiating to those around me.
Really,
that seems to be the only option.
To
quote Paul McCartney, another prophet from my youth:
And
in the end
the
love you take
is
equal to the love
you
make.
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