Wednesday, October 31, 2012

How Big is Too Big?

By Daisy Harris (Guest Blogger)

First off, thank you so much, Lisabet, for hosting me today! I’m sure we’ll all have a blast.

I’m going to talk to you today about my new release, My Fair Dork.

My Fair Dork is the eighth book in my Men of Holsum College series. But since the beginning, I’ve nicknamed the story “Giant Dong of Doom.” The premise is simple: a dorky college freshman with a dick so big he’s embarrassed by it (Harold) is befriended by a handsome and popular hall mate (Owen) who wants to give him a make over. Hijinks, sex, and eventually love ensue.

But even though Owen and Harold have their issues to work out, the main conflict of the story is between Harold and his penis. Harold thinks it’s too big. He worries he’ll never be able to top during gay sex. He’s scared that potential sexual partners will be put off by his size, or let down when they learn they’re only going to be able to do certain activities with him comfortably. Basically, Harold is a giant ball of insecurity.

So, it’s a good thing Owen is laid back about pretty much everything. What’s more, Owen LOVES that Harold’s packin’. In fact, he loves it so much that he might be willing to let the whole campus know he likes boys.

In writing a story about a guy with a giant peen, I got one reaction again and again. That reaction was: “HONEY, there ain’t no such thing as too big!”

Gay, straight, it didn’t matter. Everyone’s first reaction to hearing about a giant shlong is “Yee-haw!”

Now, I understand this sentiment from a visceral perspective. There is something really impressive about a huge cock. They’re nice to look at, interesting to imagine. But, maybe it’s because of all the anatomy classes I’ve taken, but I do believe that a penis can be too big.

Here are some statistics:

  • The length of the average penis is 5.88 inches
  • A vagina is around 3-4 inches deep when unaroused
  • The vagina expands to 5-7 inches deep during sexual arousal
  • The anal canal is about 2 inches and the rectum 4.7 inches (6.7 inches total)
  • Some sources say that a longer penis will just keep going into the colon

So, when they say a guy is 10 or (Egads!) 12 inches long, I always wonder—where’s he planning to put all that? Sure, I bet it looks good in the shower, but really! My lady parts are shivering, and not in anticipation.

But Owen is a much better man than I am. I’d probably run away screaming upon seeing Harold’s cock. Even though Harold is sweet and smart and just flat-out adorable, I am a girl with limits. But Owen’s perfectly willing to work around (and reach around!) the problem. He’s patient, easygoing, and a perfect match for Harold in every way.

And if Owen’s a little bit of a size queen, more power to him. Harold needs a guy exactly like that.

* * * * *

What do you think? Can a guy be too hung? And how big is too big? Share your thoughts and you might win one of my great blog tour prizes: a large-size dildo, a scented penis candle, as well as a $20 gift certificate to the winner’s choice of Barnes and Noble or Amazon.


They say a guy can never be too hung. Well, Harold Jacobs doesn’t know who they are, but they’re wrong. Socially awkward for as long as he can remember, Harold feels his enormous package is just one more thing to be embarrassed about. Especially once hunky and popular
Owen McKenzie notices it in the showers.

Owen knows he’s bi, but he keeps that secret close to his chest. He likes Harold, and wants to help him shed his dorky image and maybe even find a boyfriend. Still, Owen can’t stop obsessing about Harold’s equipment. And much as he doesn’t want to flip-flop on his sexuality, Owen does want to test-drive what Harold has between his legs.

Their friendship erupts into full-blown lust. But can Owen accept the loss of his golden child status and be Harold’s boyfriend? And can Harold outgrow his insecurity in time to keep the man he loves?

I was born in England. But I moved here when I was nine.” It had been too late to change Harold’s name to something more normal. But his mom seemed to think the move had been a good idea. She hated her ex-husband, Harold’s dad. And, apparently, she hadn’t been happy until there was an entire ocean between them.

Wow. So you’re foreign? You don’t have an accent.” Owen sounded impressed, or maybe hopeful. Like Harold would pull out a smooth, James Bond burr and a tuxedo to match.

I spoke with one when I first moved. But…” He shrugged. All the kids had made fun of how he talked when he started fourth grade. They thought he sounded posh. Some even said, “gay”. Harold didn’t know how an entire country—and all its former colonies—could be gay based on an accent. How would they make little baby Brits?

Of course, maybe the gay thing had bothered him more because at that age, he’d already realized he was.

Too bad. Girls love a guy with an accent.”

Harold coughed, spraying a couple droplets of tea across his scone. He cleared his throat, trying to recover. “Don’t think we have to worry much about that.”

Owen paused his assault on his eggs and looked up. His blue bell eyes were wide and confused. “What? Why?”

It felt surprisingly good to know something Owen didn’t. But it was silly, really. Harold figured everyone knew. “I’m gay.”

Oh.” Owen did a double take, and raked his eyes over Harold’s clothes once again.

Harold guessed that Owen had to re-arrange his opinion of Harold’s clothes now that he had to match them up with a different sexual preference.

Wow. It’s worse than I thought.” Owen stabbed a sausage and bit off half.

What?” Harold looked down at his shirt, wondering if he’d managed to spatter tea on himself during his sputtering. No. It was clean.

Aren’t gay guys supposed to be all stylish and hip?” Owen smiled as he said it—making it sound like he was flirting, or at least teasing.

Harold frowned. “Of course. And we all have lisps, and tiny dogs we spoil.”

Owen’s forehead creased in the middle, as if he wasn’t sure whether Harold was joking. “Nah.” He ate the other half of his sausage, and then picked up another. “I know that’s not true.”

Good lord. Harold closed his eyes and pinched his lips together to stop himself from laughing. Owen was so…he didn’t even know how to describe it. It was an optimistic innocence Harold had heard about but never seen in real life. Maybe it was a Midwestern thing.

This guy I knew from the football team, Tank, he’s gay. And he isn’t like that at all.” Owen thought about it for a moment, staring past Harold’s shoulder to look off into space. “Though I could see him with a dog.”

Harold wasn’t sure whether he was being serious or joking. But since Owen was so earnest most of the time, he guessed Tank guy was the kind to pamper a Chihuahua.

About the Author

Birkenstock-wearing glamour girl and mother of two by immaculate conception, Daisy Harris still isn't sure if she writes erotica. Her romances start out innocently enough. However, her characters behave like complete sluts. Much to Miss Harris's dismay the sex tends to get completely out of hand.

She writes about fantastical creatures and about young men getting their freak on, and she's never missed an episode of The Walking Dead

Twitter: @thedaisyharris


Goddess Fish Promotions said...

Thank you for hosting today.

Yvette said...

I have read the book and loved it! Too big...I though Harold was perfect....even with an overly long dong..I can't picture any bigger than that though :-)
Thanks for the chance to win.

Unknown said...

OH my yes. Now of course I'm quite vertically challenged, but any schlong past the 8 inch mark is just going to hurt, and not in a good way. (snicker) Now girth! That's a whole other subject. I so believe thicker is better, as long as we aren't talking soda can thick! :) But as long as the guy packin' knows what to do with it, and what NOT to do, everyone can have a fun time and nobody gets hurt.
I have added this onto my TBR list, it sounds like an intriguing book.

Lisabet Sarai said...

Hey, Daisy,

Thanks so much for being my guest and focusing on such a lively topic!

Best of luck with the tour and the book.

Anne said...

Yup, I think they can be too big. I read a book where that was the case and it really made me think how awful it would be to never be able to sink in up to the hilt. The hero or heroine used a hand to act as an extension of the vagina.

Cornelia said...

How big depends on the receiver maybe?Adding to my list.

Anonymous said...

Hi Yvette!

Thanks for coming by. Yeah, Harold was perfect just as he is. I <3 him. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Tawny,

Thanks for weighing in! I admit to occasionally crossing my legs when I read erotic romance. There can be some serious size inflation. lol

Hope you enjoy the read!


Anonymous said...

Thanks for having me, Lisbet! Glad your readers are enjoying the topic. :)


Anonymous said...

Yeah, I've wondered about that—particularly in paranormal romances where guys have shlongs of superhuman size. It seems inconvenient and probably unpleasant, once the novelty wears off.

Anonymous said...

That's for sure! Maybe my opinion is skewed because I'm only 5ft 41/2. So, not a big person. I remember Ayla in Clan of the Cave Bear being very tall, and hence having the capacious sheath capable of accepting Jondalar's enormous wand of pleasure. Taller girls (and guys) can probably take more.

M_Nark said...

I actually had to end a relationship with a guy who was ... too well-endowed. Kind of a shame really, as he was nice, but we were sexually challenged, lol!! Size does matter (to a certain extent). I have to read "My Fair Dork" just to see how your men tackle this!

mnark111 AT gmail DOT com

Anonymous said...

I had a friend who had the same problem with a guy she was dating. She said his dick was so big he could have f*cked her from the other side of the room. It's a real issue in some relationships!

JP said...

A friend of mine said the only thing he could do with his boyfriend's dick was throw it over his shoulder and burp it!

Anonymous said...

Snort. Now that's a visual I'm going to revisit for days. Thanks for that! lol

Anonymous said...

GIANT DONG OF DOOM is a Halloween flick *I'd* watch, for sure. But while I'm tall standing up, I'm pretty, uh, petite lying down, so I think I must live vicariously through Daisy's book.


Anonymous said...

I'm sure that there is such a thing as being too big, but I gotta tell ya: I've never been with a man that you would consider too big, and I wouldn't mind finding out! LOL Harold sounds adorable. Putting on my TBR list!

Tali Spencer said...

I admit it, I like to read about well-endowed heroes. In real life, though, I can see where a dick could be uncomfortably, even painfully, large. But reading is fantasy, so I willingly suspend my disbelief at some of the couplings! Daisy's book sounds like the bestest kind of fun!

HeyYou-ItsMe said...

Although it's fun to look at the pictures on Tumblr of this guy and that with enormous...erm...members. I think if I had to deal with one personally I wouldn't be such a happy camper.

I’ve read all your Holsom College books except for one, I’ve loved them all. I pretty much read them all out of order which worked well because some of the hero’s of one book were the jerks of another.

The question I have is was Holsum a play on words for Wholesome? Every time I see the name on the book, I chuckle. I love a good play on words.

I loved My Fair Dork I was supposed to be reading it bit by bit as a reward for getting words on my page but I devoured it in one sitting and then went to find the rest.

I can’t wait to see what you do with the longer title…I hope that’s the Fireman book you’ve been talking about on Twitter. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.

Anonymous said...

That would make a great campy movie, wouldn't it? I'm thinking SyFy channel, for sure.

Anonymous said...

Ah, to be young again! Looking back, I should have paid more attention to penises. :)

Anonymous said...

I agree that anything goes in fantasy. Someone on twitter mentioned the other day that they were with a guy who was *huge*, but too big to get really, fully hard. I was thinking—yes. In real life, there are trade-offs. But the nice thing about fantasy is that you can have your cake and (cough) eat it, too.

Thanks for the comment!


Anonymous said...

Yep—I finished my Firefighter book last week and I'm working on the second in the firefighter trilogy. I hope to get that one out as soon as possible!

And YES—Holsum is a play on words. It's so funny to me how often people don't get it. lol. I thought it was obvious. But I know readers who've read the whole series and not realized the pun.

I guess I should aim to be more obvious next time I make a joke.

Ns said...

Oh, there is SO such a thing as too big, but my blog gets a lot of hits from people looking for stories about The Guy with the Current Biggest Known Penis, so clearly it's something that occupies a lot of thought! LOL.

aureliatevans said...

I think it really depends on a person. I heard about a guy who could reach almost a foot fully hard, but he knew how to control his blood flow to keep it around 8 inches max.

Which, when you think about it, is pretty damn awesome. Isn't anatomy cool? Not to mention, best of both worlds.

I'm overwhelmed by large dicks, though, and I think I'll stick with average size. That's big enough for me.

Anonymous said...

LOL. It's one of those things that captures the imagination, that's for sure! But like most things, the reality is not as simple as the fantasy. (At least, that's what I figure.)

Anonymous said...

That sounds like some crazy penis-ninja skillz. I'm scared...

Heather Haven said...

You are a hoot. What an approach to a subject. I hope your sales go thru the roof. You deseve no less.

Anonymous said...


helene said...

first I adored the excerpt as for to big I think its more a matter of width and lengh at most w 2in leg 8 but hey if your lover is willing to listen to what really blast your jets then everything else seems to work its self out by it self :) just saying from over 40yrs of experance :)

Debby said...

Sounds like a great story. We all have to deal with what we are given though.
debby236 at gmail dot com

Anonymous said...

LOL. THanks for the insight!

Anonymous said...

True. Anyone can made their biology work!

Catherine Lee said...

Daisy...What interesting conversations you can generate...LOL! The whole well-endowed nerd imagery has me looking at The Big Bang Theory in a totally new light.
catherinelee100 at gmail dot com

Jen B. said...

In real life, yes, there is a too big. Like you pointed out, biology dictates that there is only so much space to put "it"! In books, I love the big dongs. The bigger the better. The whole "oh no, it won't fit". I love it! This story sounds great! This post made me laugh so hard!! jepebATverizonDOTnet

Booksrforever123 said...

oh, My. This one is going on my to be bought list. I have to see how this one comes out. I just can't imagine a dick that big coming anywhere near me. I had problems with an 7 incher, I cringe when I think about a 10 or egads 12 incher.
j-coverholser at sbcglobal dot net

Unknown said...

ROTFLMAO!!! OMG, I about snorted soda all over my screen! Such a visual.

Unknown said...

Oh Campy killer penis movie. Check out The One Eyed Monster, a B well more like a D movie about an alien shaped like a penis that kills people, stars Amber Benson, Jason Graham, Charles Napier and of all people Ron Jeremy.

Fedora said...

Wow... fascinating, Daisy! As others have mentioned, I think it's fabulous to read about the well-endowed, but I imagine that in reality, it would truly depend on both partners--there would certainly be some physical limitations, and beyond that, I guess they could see if some could be circumvented with creativity. People are created in all different sizes and shapes... it's what knowing what to do with what we have that makes all the difference :)
f dot chen at comcast dot net

June M. said...

I would have to agree with you. Large cocks are great to look at *Grin* but the thought of them coming near me is very intimidating!
I can't wait for this book to be available at Amazon!
manning_J2004 at yahoo dot com

countrygirlxxoo said...

Well, I guess if I were a man, I'd rather have the too much problem than the not enough problem. And on the receiving side, I would rather deal with a too much problem than a not enough problem as well. I guess I'm firmly on the bigger is better side of the fence! LOL.

Juliana said...

Aw, Harold is perfect just the way he is! That is not to say I wouldn't have run when I saw him... Owen is a braver man, um person, than I!
OceanAkers @

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