Review Tuesday: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall #ReviewTuesday #NineteenthCentury #Feminism

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë

When attractive widow Helen Graham and her five year old son take up residence in the run-down Elizabethan manor Wildfell Hall, the whole rural community of Linden-Car is abuzz with rumor. The stately and reserved woman barely mingles with the society around her, though she does attend church. Apparently she supports herself by working as a painter, executing and selling commissioned works.

Gilbert Markham, a gentleman farmer who is her neighbor, finds himself increasingly fascinated by the sensitive, intelligent and well-educated tenant. Despite the mystery surrounding her, he falls deeply in love, spurning the affections of the vicar’s daughter Eliza Millward whom he had previously courted. In retribution, Eliza spreads, or perhaps creates, unsavory rumors about the reticent Mrs. Graham’s relationship with her landlord, Frederick Lawrence. After observing what he believes to be an intimate tryst between them, Gilbert viciously attacks Lawrence, then angrily confronts Helen. She gives him her diary, which exposes the tragic story of her marriage to a handsome and abusive wastrel, and her secret flight to Wildfell in order to escape him.

Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights were both favorites of mine when I was growing up, but somehow I missed this equally dramatic novel by the third Brontë sister, first published in 1848. It’s difficult in the twenty first century to appreciate how shocking nineteenth century audiences would have found Helen’s decision to flee from her drunken, dissolute, philandering spouse. Indeed, as Arthur Huntingdon’s behavior becomes more and more egregious, I wondered at Helen’s patience. Arthur is horribly devious and manipulative in his attempts to control his wife. When she finally does escape, she’s desperate and near-destitute. She knows that if she reveals any hint about her true identity, her husband will haul her back to his estate – and the rest of society will view that as his lawful prerogative.

Helen is such a thoroughly intelligent, virtuous and admirable character, one might find her annoying. She’s saved from this fate by her one fatal mistake, falling in love with Huntingdon. Given her wit and sense in responding to her many other suitors, one has to wonder why she was so blind to Huntingdon’s true nature. I suspect the author intended this novel as a cautionary tale.

Gilbert seems a good deal less perfect. Indeed, he is initially quite selfish and self-absorbed in his pursuit of Helen. His furious attack on Lawrence (who, as it turns out, is actually Helen’s brother) made me wonder if he was truly worthy of her. However, he ultimately accepts her requirement that they should not see or contact one another (as she still considers herself married), and he keeps his vow. It’s pretty clear that Helen is a good influence, helping him to curb his rather rash and passionate nature.

Arthur Huntingdon’s unhealthy habits prove to be his undoing. When he becomes seriously ill, Helen voluntarily returns to their home Grassdale in order to serve as his nurse. I will admit to rolling my eyes a bit at this extreme self-sacrifice, but perhaps this would be more plausible to a nineteenth century audience. In any case, she reaps the reward for her unselfish virtue. She inherits her husband’s estate after he dies and gains the freedom marry Gilbert, who has proved himself by keeping his promises to her.

Though some readers will likely find the style old-fashioned, I found myself greatly enjoying the meticulously crafted nineteenth century prose. Ms. Brontë employs the popular (at the time) narrative device of the epistolary novel. The first and third volumes of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall are structured as a series of letters from Gilbert to his brother-in-law. The centerpiece of the novel is a series of entries from Helen’s diary, chronicling her infatuation with Huntingdon, their difficult marriage, his increasingly destructive behavior and his attempts to corrupt their young son, which finally motivate her to hide herself away Wildfell Hall. Her rational and intelligent voice contrasts nicely with Gilbert’s moodiness.

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall is intended to convey a moral message. The author makes this very clear in her introduction. There’s a good bit of talk about God, salavation and the afterlife. Normally, I’d cringe at this sort of explicitly didactic fiction, but the novel is so vibrant and well-written that I didn’t mind at all. The book may be intended as a lesson, but it succeeds equally well as a story.

(You can download this book for free from Project Gutenberg.)

The right to say no … or yes – #GenerationEquality @UNWomen #MeToo

 Photo by Rowan Chestnut on Unsplash

 

Today is International Women’s Day. The official theme this year is “I am Generation Equality: Realizing Women’s Rights”.

We really shouldn’t need a special day to raise awareness of women’s rights – to highlight the fact that women worldwide face discrimination, violence, poverty and servitude, simply because they are female. Gender equality should be a given, something we take for granted, not a still-distant goal. Alas, that’s not the world we live in.

Globally, women still earn a fraction of what men do for the same work, not to mention the hours of unpaid labor they are expected to provide taking care of their homes and their children. Women are still excluded from positions of power, whether in government or the corporate world. In some countries, women cannot possess property, go out by themselves, drive cars, choose their mates, or control their own fertility. Horrific practices like child marriage, “honor” killings and FGM are depressingly common.

Of course, we’ve made progress, though it’s uneven. The #MeToo movement is an example of how women are reclaiming power over their own bodies. Around the world, women are standing up for their right to say no to unwelcome sexual advances. We’re coming to realize that we can fight back against patriarchal norms that encourage abuse or rape.

I deeply admire the bravery of the women who have confronted powerful men and spoken out about their experiences of sexual harassment and worse. They will encourage the next generation to be more forceful and more articulate in refusing unwelcome attention.

At the same time, I worry a bit that young women might get a distorted message. Of course they have the right to say no. However, I hope they understand that they also have the right to say yes.

Women learn from an early age that “nice girls” aren’t interested in sex – or that if they are, they don’t show it. We’re taught to be terrified of the label “slut”, and to be deeply suspicious of our own desires. These cultural norms are just as much a part of the oppressive patriarchy as the mistaken notion that men have sex drives that can’t be controlled and should not be denied, or that it’s a woman’s responsibility and destiny to be “taken” by men.

These beliefs damage us. They deny us one of the greatest joys in life. They undermine the happiness and stability of long term relationships. I’ve met many men who believed the myth that women aren’t all that interested in sex, that it was normal for their partners to be passive or “frigid”. These guys were frustrated and deeply unhappy. They wanted an active, enthusiastic woman who’d meet them halfway in the giving and taking of pleasure.

Meanwhile their wives or girlfriends were too shy or embarrassed to expose their “dirty” fantasies or to ask for what they wanted.

I somehow managed to grow up without a slut complex. I’ve had a rich and fulfilling sex life, because I’ve been willing to say yes to my desires. I don’t take any personal credit for this. I was lucky to have an open-minded family, lucky too that most of the men in my life have been lusty-minded feminists who appreciated my carnal interests.

I’ve reaped the rewards of my good fortune – and I’d love for other women to do the same. Being a feminist means believing in your own equality. You deserve safety, respect, and autonomy. You also deserve sexual satisfaction and erotic joy.

Say no. Say yes. It’s your choice. Exercising your rights, in either direction, will only make you stronger.

Review Tuesday: In Another Place by Susan Mailer - #memoir #ReviewTuesday #NormanMailer

In Another Place: With and without my father Norman Mailer by Susan Mailer

Northampton House Press, 2019

I don’t usually read memoirs—in particular, the sensational and exploitative memoirs often penned by the children of celebrities. However, In Another Place was highly recommended by a close friend. Meanwhile, I’ve always found Norman Mailer intriguing. Brilliant author, legendary bad boy, respected intellectual and feminist whipping post, his influence still looms large over twentieth century culture. I will admit to being curious to see him through the eyes of his eldest daughter.

Susan Mailer’s memoir could hardly be further from those whining exposés I try to avoid. Rather, it is a delicately balanced, emotionally subtle account of the author’s complicated relationship with a father who clearly loved her but was not always successful in expressing this love, either in words or in deeds. The author avoids hysterics and hyperbole. Her account is dignified and restrained, even when she’s recounting severely traumatic events. Nevertheless, one closes the book with a strong sense of both Susan herself and her paradoxical parent. Her measured treatment does not mute the memoir’s powerful impact.

I suspect that this was difficult book to write. The awkward title encapsulates the problem. Ms. Mailer spent her childhood and teen years shuttling between two countries and two cultures: vibrant, sociable Mexico, where her mother lived and practiced medicine, and trendy, competitive New York, her father’s domain. Wherever she was, she felt the pull of her other life. Of course, children of divorced patterns often experience this sort of conflict. In her case, geographic distance and her father’s fame exacerbated the pain of the split. Hence the memoir’s subtitle. Including the name “Norman Mailer” is more than just a ploy to sell books. As the child of an acknowledged literary genius, Ms. Mailer felt special pressure to impress her father with her intelligence, her talent and her “guts”. At the same time, she was trying to find her way as an individual, to build a life in which she was more than just “Norman Mailer’s daughter”.

It took great courage for the author to revisit her psychologically turbulent early years as she does in this volume.

The book also explores the destructive effects of fame on private life and personal relationships. Norman Mailer, it appears, sometimes believed in his own myth. Propelled into the limelight before he was thirty by his best-selling debut novel The Naked and the Dead, he faced the problem of topping his own personal best. Ms. Mailer does not shy away from portraying his egotism as well as his insecurity. At the same time, she shows how sincere he could be, how charming, loving and generous, as well as diligent, almost driven, when it came to his writing.

In Another Place follows a linear trajectory in time, starting just before Susan’s birth and stretching to her father’s death in 2007. The book includes many of the well-known (and sometimes infamous) incidents in Mailer’s life: his stabbing of his second wife; his run for Mayor of New York; the ad-lib weekend making the experimental film “Maidstone”, including his violent brawl with co-star Rip Torn; the infamous Town Hall- “A Dialogue on Women’s Liberation” - where Mailer moderated, and baited, a panel of renowned feminists. However, Ms. Mailer also chronicles other, more private moments with her father: ski weekends in Vermont, bullfights in Mexico, late night conversations, angry tantrums, and memorably, fun- and love-filled visits at the “Big House” in Provincetown, where Norman Mailer played benevolent patriarch to his nine children and their offspring. The portrait that emerges is fascinating, nuanced and multi-faceted, enlightened by the author’s professional knowledge as a practicing psychoanalyst as well as by the insights and perspective that come with age.

The description above might suggest that this is a book about Norman Mailer, but in fact Susan herself is at the center of the tale. The memoir is an effort to put her own life in perspective, using the mirror of her relationship, to reconcile the fact that she will always be Norman Mailer’s daughter with the recognition that she is much more.

I have not said much about the writing. Ms. Mailer’s prose is crisp, concise and evocative. The structure of the book balances drama with history in a pleasing alternation. The author’s reminiscences do not shy away from negative emotion but are never self-indulgent.

In short, I was deeply impressed by this brave, honest, skillfully crafted work. Even if you’re generally not a fan of memoirs, I recommend it.

In Nigeria, Romance Enhances Literacy (#feminism #romance #literacy)

A few days ago I happened on this fascinating article, about the huge popularity of romance novels in Nigeria. There's a different piece about the same phenomenon here at the BBC.

It's really worth taking a few minutes to read these stories, but the gist is that women have started to produce a flood of romantic tales in the local Hausa language, which have become so hugely popular that they're having an effect on culture and values. In particular, young women are starting to realize and object to some of the oppressive aspects of their traditional roles, such as forced marriage, child marriage and unequal ability to initiate divorce. Even more exciting (for me) was the fact that in a country with one of the lowest female literacy rates in the world, girls are learning to read, just so that they can access these romance books.

Stories like this give me hope. They also convince me that despite the disdain with which Western literary culture treats romance, the genre has both an enduring, world-wide appeal and a positive social impact.

Keep writing!

BDSM and Feminism

Can a woman be both a submissive and a feminist?

When I published my first BDSM erotic romance, Raw Silk, I sent a copy to my brother, a sensitive New Age guy who’s an ardent feminist. Much to my surprise, he was quite upset. “You’re glorifying abuse,” he said. “Treating women like objects. It’s sexism at its worst.”

I didn’t expect that reaction. It certainly didn’t match my experience. BDSM, for me, was liberating. I could finally express the desires I’d previously kept hidden, knowing I would not be condemned for them. I certainly didn’t feel abused. No matter what he did to me, my Master always treated me with respect—even a bit of awe. I gave myself to him, with full and heartfelt consent. He understood the value of that gift. I trusted him, and he trusted me—trusted that I’d let him know if something hurt too much, or if the emotional content of a scene made me uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, submission actually increased my self-confidence and assertiveness. I felt strong and brave after an intense scene, as well as desirable. And I finally could take ownership of my sexuality, including my kinky needs.

My submissive heroines tend to be self-sufficient career women with busy and fulfilling lives, even before they meet their Doms. Rachel Zelinsky, from The Gazillionaire and the Virgin, is a prime example. She’s founder and CEO of a multi-billion dollar tech corporation. In fact, she spends her days giving orders to her subordinates. Her need to submit is an itch she scratches via superficial interactions at kink clubs. These artificial scenes don’t satisfy her, but she’s too busy running her company to look for the real thing. Then she meets Theo, and gradually comes to understand that he can give her what she’s been missing.

Becoming Theo’s sub doesn’t diminish her. She remains a powerful, competent, independent woman who is perfectly capable of holding her own in the male-dominated world of business. Meanwhile, Theo doesn’t try to change her. He admires her intelligence, energy and social savvy.

A sub is not a doormat. A slave doesn’t have to surrender her identity, or her pride. Submission is a choice, one that requires significant courage and honesty. That’s one of the truths I try to convey in my BDSM fiction, including The Gazillionaire and the Virgin.

~ ~ ~

This is the last post in my Gazillionaire and Virgin blog tour, running from February 1^st to 15^th. Leave me a comment on this post, including your email address, and I’ll enter you to win a $50 bookstore gift certificate (first prize) or a print copy of the new book (second prize).

I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself as much as I have. If you missed some of the posts, you will find the full list here:

http://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com/2016/01/blog-tour.html

I will wait until Wednesday the 17^th to draw the winners, so you have a bit of time to catch up!

The Line of Consent

By Teresa Noelle Roberts (Guest Blogger)

Maybe you’ve caught some of the buzz recently about romance novels and feminism. My most recent release, Knowing the Ropes, was used as an example in this ongoing discussion, and I’m proud of that. I’ve read a lot of romances over the years, and I have to agree that some of them are problematic from a feminist point of view. I’m not talking about the dubious consent fantasies I see played out in some of them. Sexual fantasies aren’t always politically correct. Hell, sex itself isn’t necessarily politically correct. And that’s fine. The way I see it, as long as everyone involved is of age and consenting to the activities, have fun—even if they involve pain, power play, humiliation, age-play, consensual non-consent or other practices that make many people uncomfortable. Even if they involve clown suits or the end products of digestion, which make me uncomfortable, and I’m pretty damn open-minded when it comes to sex.

The key word is consent. My emphasis on informed consent in Knowing the Ropes is probably why it was used in talking about BDSM and feminism in romance novels. My heroine, Selene, is a domestic violence counselor who happens to be kinky. She’s working to reconcile her sexuality with her professional passion, and consent proves to be the answer to that dilemma. Nick, the hero, is a dom I created after reading a few too many fictional doms (and alpha male heroes who were almost pathologically dominant, if not strictly speaking practicing BDSM or D/s) who blurred the line of consent* with abandon that can be hot in fiction, but would be dangerous, not to mention illegal, in real life. In contrast, I wanted Nick to be the kind of dominant partner I’d want a younger, less experienced friend to meet. A good human being who happens to be kinky. A dom who talks things through when necessary, who knows the difference between hurt and harm, and who understands that informed consent is critical to kink. In contrast, Nick’s ex Natalie finds herself with a dom who pushes her far beyond her limits (which are basically “don’t do anything likely to kill me”—she’s an extreme player) and beyond the bounds of harm. I think of consent as basic human decency. It shouldn’t have to be a feminist issue, just something that sane people take for granted as a base line for sexual interactions.

The fact that it needs to be an issue is part of why I’m a feminist.

Who writes erotica and romance, much of it kinky.

Teresa Noelle Roberts writes erotica and romance—“doing what comes (super)naturally.” She loves slightly writing more than gardening, but can’t survive without either. Learn more at www.teresanoelleroberts.com or follow her on Twitter, where she’s @TeresNoeRoberts

Knowing the Ropes

They’ve got the sex factor in spades. But can love survive the “ex” factor?

Selene has harbored kinky, submissive fantasies most of her life, but her experience as a domestic abuse counselor leaves her leery of giving up that much control. Case in point: the ex-fiancé she didn’t love quite enough to test the limits of trust.

At a BDSM meet and greet, she sets out to learn how far is too far. Nick seems like the ideal dom to show her the ins and outs of ropes, floggers, and paddles—with no commitment clause.

After losing a sub he loved too much, Selene’s country girl common sense and smoking sensuality is like a dream that Nick never dared to have—a perfect blend of kink and long-term domestic bliss.

Yet it’s tough to figure out just how far they can push their limits when they’ve both agreed to a no-strings affair. Especially when an ex needs Nick’s muscle and Selene’s newly discovered skills to get out of a dangerous situation. And it may be too late for love to survive all the things they’re afraid to say.

Warning: Sexy, kinky, geeky dominant guy. Smart submissive woman. Crazy ex. A little experimentation between girlfriends. And lots and lots of kinky sex.

Buy links:

Samhain: http://bit.ly/VAyjd8

Amazon: http://amzn.to/Zi02F1

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/RvCvwO

Kobo: http://bit.ly/X9ju1f

Excerpt

Mesmerized, Selene reached around and started to unzip her dress. He reached behind her, caught her wrists. “Oh, I’m glad you’re as eager as I am, but we need to talk a little more—with our clothes on. Things we should have talked about before, really, but dammit, woman, you make it hard to think.” Another devouring kiss, and then he steered her toward the couch.

“Pull up your skirt before you sit,” he added, almost as an afterthought. “Being naked would distract us both too much—but a little distraction will keep you honest.”

And then he proceeded to ask her a series of no-holds-barred questions that made her squirm on the leather couch in a combination of embarrassment and lust.

After they’d gone over her experiences (fairly varied in the vanilla area, but limited in the kink department to light, playful spankings and a few experiments with silk-scarf bondage) and the things that were absolutely off-limits (she asked about his absolutely nots as well and was relieved to hear they agreed on the things they’d never, ever want to do), the subject turned to her fantasies.

“What draws you to BDSM?” he asked.

“I’m not sure I can put it into words. There’s so much… It’s always been part of my fantasies, ever since I was little and made my brother’s GI Joe do unspecified evil things to my Barbie.”

That cracked him up, but once he stopped laughing, he encouraged her to go on.

“Part of it is the idea of giving up control. The couple of times I’ve been tied up were heavenly, even though the guy who did it to me was probably a bigger sub than I am. He was just doing it so I’d tie him up and have my wicked way with him the next night. I’d love to be restrained more, more severely.” And how. She was getting wetter simply talking about it, imagining Nick spread-eagling her on the bed or putting her into some of the exotic rope-bondage positions she’d drooled over while surfing the Net. “And I’d like to take that further, to give up mental control once in a while, to put myself into good hands and say, ‘You’re in charge now.’ To please you if that’s what you want, or to take what you give me, your choice.”

“How far are you willing to go with letting someone else make the decisions for you? How about…erotic dares, maybe? Like would you want to be told to have sex with someone else?”

“Maybe. Depending on the circumstances. Especially if it’s a woman. I’ve had my bi fantasies, and I’ve kissed women before. The idea turns me on, but it never seemed like the right time go further than kissing. So being ‘ordered’ to do it…might be hot, as long as it was something she’d do anyway.” She grinned and felt herself flushing.

“Consent’s definitely key, even if we’re all pretending we’re forcing you. How about erotic pain—my flogger or cane or paddle against your skin, alternating with caresses? Because I know I’d love to redden your ass before I bent you over and fucked you.”

The words touched her core like skilled fingers. She squirmed, the leather couch tantalizing on her ass, but she couldn’t form words to answer.

“I take it that’s a yes?”

Feminine Feminists

By Fiona Jayde (Guest Blogger)

As the role and power of women in society has been changing, so have female heroines. More and more we see instances where the heroine rescues the hero as well as apprehends the bad guy. More and more we see kickass women not afraid of danger while at the same time not afraid to show their softer side to their families, their friends and their lovers.

I always wonder how this role of feminism applies to our romance heroines. If a strong woman is aroused by a sexually alpha hero, does that mean she secretly craves to be "mastered"? Is she seen as weak by the reader? If a strong woman refuses to get into a fight with her assailant, choosing instead to give him her purse and safely get away, will the reader consider such action as weak? In real life, I'd call that smart, but would we expect extraordinary feats from our fictional heroines? On the other hand, if a heroine is too strong (mentally or physically), is the reader no longer able to identify with her?

Recently I saw a comment about Yancy Butler - who played the tough detective Sarah Pezzini in Witchblade, The Series. The comment was that the portrayal of Sarah was too masculine. These were all of course opinions, but considering that Butler was often shown in tiny tank tops which showed her belly and outlined her other assets, I had a feeling that the word "masculine" came from her behavior - tough, no nonsense, swaggering motorcycle riding asskicker. And this made me strongly question my own writing and my own heroines.

My favorite novels and shows features extraordinary kickass heroines: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Eve Dallas from In Death series, Maxine from Dark Angel with her genetically bred "super powers", Starbuck the Hotshot Pilot from BattleStar Galactica, Detective Sarah Pezzini from Witchblade. These are extraordinary women, most of them living in extraordinary times. They have loved, have lost, and have a soft spot under a hard shell exterior. And they kick major ass - as do the female characters I naturally gravitate toward writing.

In Pas De Deux, I was faced with a challenge of writing a very feminine heroine - since a ballerina would think twice about kicking someone for fear of hurting her feet! Lynn Kovaleva is determined to get back her reputation, despite the pain and discipline of arduous training. She is probably the most feminine heroine I've written (there's no punching bag in sight anywhere in the novel!). And yet I would still consider Lynn to be a kickass heroine - due to her immense inner strength and discipline. And her smart mouth:)

I did include a small kicking scene in Pas De Deux, but even that was done in a smooth motion resembling a dance.

Pas De Deux © Fiona Jayde

****

She smiled, serene and beautiful. And Mateo barely missed a pink-shod foot aimed at his jaw.

He caught it just before she clocked him, felt a short tremble when he gave in to the urge and rubbed his thumb over her skin.

Those dark eyes flared wide and soft and brown.

“Let go.” A firm no-nonsense voice. More color on her cheeks.

“Say pretty please.”

***

To The Readers: Who are some of your favorite feminine kickass heroines?

***

Fiona is a space pilot, a ninth degree black belt in three styles of martial arts, a computer hacker, a mountain climber, a jazz singer, a weight lifter, a superspy with a talent for languages, and an evil genius. All in her own head. In life, she is an author of kickass, action packed, steamy romances, possesses a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do and blue belt in Aikido, a web developer, scared to death of heights, loves jazz piano, can bench-press about 20 pounds — with effort, speaks English and Russian fluently, and when not plotting murder and mayhem enjoys steamy romance novels, sexy spy thrillers, murky mysteries and movies where things frequently blow up. Her website is: www.fionajayde.com .