Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Liking It Rough (a post for International Fisting Day)

By Xan West (Guest Blogger)

I found out about fisting from leatherdyke erotica. A story described it in delicious detail, so that I could picture each movement. It made fisting feel possible, walked me through the act, step by step. Lubing up, working each finger in, pausing, pulling out when it felt like too much, working back up to it, coaxing, that exquisite slide inside, staying still and just holding onto the sensation of your whole hand being inside, moving gently and sparking huge responses. That story depicted fisting as a kink unto itself, one that was sweet, gentle, intimate and power-neutral.

I’ve never done a scene where fisting was sweet, gentle or power neutral. Intimate, most definitely. But my play, and my sex, just doesn’t look like that, doesn’t feel anything like the scene in that book. In all honesty, in addition to that just not being my erotic cup of tea, play that fits that description is way past my own personal edges.

I like my sex rough, full of power dynamic, and ideally combined with pain. So while that story made fisting seem physically possible, it didn’t make it seem hot. Now the gang bang story that was also in that collection, where a submissive gets fucked in the back room of the bar by a dozen dykes who use their cocks, hands, and fists, but has to wait to come until her dominant is fucking her? Let’s just say that’s where the book’s binding broke. In both my copies of the collection.

So it may not be a surprise that some of my favorite fisting memories are of group sex, where the person being fisted is in a sling, in a public dungeon, surrounded by tops. These are memories of queer community and deep intimacy, and they are gloriously hot ones that I treasure deeply. From the first time I tried anal fisting, being coached by a group of faggots to work my hand into an experienced bottom, to lining up about eight queer fists from smallest to largest in preparation for a very lucky bottom and an intense beautiful scene not one of us is likely to forget.

So when I was writing a group fantasy fulfillment gender play scene involving a band of tigers and a tender sweet young thing that was inspired by a children’s story, it made perfect sense to include fisting. My kind of fisting, combined with pain and feral play, as part of the culmination of intense gender play, where the bottom has been pushing his edges. Fisting that looks, and feels, like rough sex. And to write that portion of the story from the bottom’s point of view, where the bottom is egging the top on to go harder.

Now, it happens to be International Fisting Day, a global event celebrating fisting. It was created in 2011 by queer porn legends Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble, as a response to the overwhelming censorship of fisting as a sex act in pornography. As a queer kink erotica writer, and someone who adores fisting, I deeply value the representation of fisting in erotic material.

In honor of the fifth annual International Fisting Day, I thought it might be fun to share a fisting excerpt from that story. So here you have it, fromThe Tender Sweet Young Thing, which appears in my new collection, Show Yourself To Me. (Available at Go Deeper Press, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.) As a heads up, this excerpt includes descriptions of a group scene including pain play, gender play, bondage, blade play, feral play, and of course, fisting.

Excerpt from “The Tender Sweet Young Thing”

Rebecca got her hand in Téo’s curls, and was doing that twisting-pulling thing that felt like sex. Dax snapped the scissors close to his ear, making him jump. Mikey was doing something slithery and twisty in his front hole. Damn, her paw was big. He wanted it inside him so bad, punching into his cervix with those powerful huge arms. Why was she going so damn slow? He was all-over impatient.

That’s when Dax began to cut into his perfect dress. He started to pull at the ropes, glaring at Dax, who seemed to get even bigger and more excited the more he glared. Xóchi and Lee began to pull at the tears Dax was making, and the fabric made a wet, almost breaking sound as they ripped it. Somehow, Téo was sobbing. Rebecca was stroking his hair, gathering him to her breast, and Mikey slid deeper into him and stilled.

Dax met his eyes, and he was held in the demand and witness of someone who got it. Got how helpless he needed to be, and how much he needed to let go, and how tender and new he was inside, and how scary it was to let others know that. Dax placed the scissors on his bare stomach, holding them firmly against him. They were cold and warm at the same time. How was that possible?
Dax reached over and stroked Téo’s cheek, lifting hir fingers to suck off his tears. Ze repeated Mikey’s question. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it before. I wonder what it is?”

This time, he could say it. “I am a tender sweet young thing.”

Mikey pulsed her hand inside him, and he moaned, repeating it, and getting rewarded by more twisting-pulsing yum that made his thighs quiver.

Lee and Xóchi growled, nuzzling his side. Rebecca stroked his curls, emerging with ribbons that she put in her own hair. He was getting stiff, and he wanted to move, so he said it: “Untie me this instant. My dress is getting mussed!”

They all chuckled and began untying him. Mikey stayed where she was, writhing her fingers inside him.

So, you want to be free for this, eh? That sounds perfect,” she said.

Oh yes,” he said and used his newly free hands to shift position. He knew if he hit the right spot, oh yes...her hand slurped in, and she grinned at him.

The rest of the tigers began to nuzzle his belly, and neck, and thighs. Mikey went to work in his hole, pulsing, then twisting, still going way too damn slow for him, and he told her so, began to work with her, thrusting on to her fist, telling her to punch him deep inside, he could take it, he wanted it, her fat fist was exactly what he needed. She caught on real fast and began slamming into him just right, and he lost control of his muscles and just let her take over. He was impaled on her huge and perfect fist, and he could feel it build in his chest. Damn…did he really need to cry again?

It seemed that he did, and as he began to sob, five tigers chose their spots and bit. Dax chose his belly, the soft part of him, the place where he was most tender. Rebecca went after his neck, sucking hard on the bite, wanting him to remember her teeth for days to come. Xóchi chose the inside of his arm, and that hurt the fucking worst. Damn, she was evil in the best way. Mikey bit down on the heel of his hand as she came because he felt so damn good spasming around her fist. Lee chose his thigh, and it mixed in with the sex to push him over into a sobbing orgasm that spiraled through him until he was spent. They all bit down and savored the sweetness of him, feeding on his tears, past his pleasure, until they were sated.

More information about Show Yourself To Me:

In Show Yourself To Me: Queer Kink Erotica, Xan West introduces us to pretty boys and nervous boys, vulnerable tops and dominant sadists, good girls and fierce girls and scared little girls, mean Daddies and loving Daddies and Daddies that are terrifying in delicious ways.

queers go to alleys to suck cock, get bent over the bathroom sink by a handsome stranger, choose to face their fears, have their Daddy orchestrate a gang bang in the park, and get their dream gender-play scene--tied to a sling in an accessible dungeon.

find hope and take risks, fall hard and push edges, get fucked and devour the fear and tears that their sadist hearts desire.

these 24 stories, you will meet queers who build community together, who are careful about how they play with power, who care deeply about consent. You will meet trans and genderqueer folks who are hot for each other, who mentor each other, who do the kind of gender play that is only possible with other trans and genderqueer folks.

is Show Yourself To Me. Get ready for a very wild ride.

About Xan West:

Xan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, a recent transplant to Oakland from Brooklyn, who has been doing community kink education for over ten years. Xan has been published in over 35 erotica anthologies, including the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Xan’s story “First Time Since,” won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Xan’s work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after” and as “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years.”

Xan refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops; strong, supportive bottoms; red meat; long winding conversations about power, privilege, and community; showtunes; and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds. Find Xan’s thoughts about the praxis of sex, kink, queerness, power, and writing at

Follow the blog tour for Show Yourself To Me:


Lisabet Sarai said...

Welcome to Beyond Romance, Xan -- and happy International Fisting Day! I have some idea how you plan to celebrate...

Seriously, your collection is amazing. I'm working my way through slowly. Each story is like a punch in the gut. "The Sweet Young Thing" is one of my favorites so far, though, very different in tone from some of the darker tales.

Hope you're getting lost of exposure from the tour. Thanks for being my guest.

orelukjp0 said...

Wow. Thank you Lisabet for introducing me to Xan West. I have wanted to read a book that included fisting for a while but most books won't touch the subject.

orelukjp0 said...

Wow. Thank you Lisabet for introducing me to Xan West. I have wanted to read a book that included fisting for a while but most books won't touch the subject.

Lisabet Sarai said...

Hello, Gayle,

Actually, there's a brief fisting scene in Raw Silk. Pretty rare in romance, though, I agree.

Xan is an amazing author, whose stories both challenge and satisfy. Not, however, for the squeamish!

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