By Kayelle Allen (Guest Blogger)
I feed the muse with music, especially when I need to choreograph an emotional moment, or an action scene. When I watch movies, I will sometimes turn off the sound and study the movements of the actors. Lee Pace, who played Elven King Thranduil in the three Hobbit movies by Peter Jackson, is a favorite. Thranduil is so much like Pietas from Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas that I found myself studying the way he moved, the way he stood, and even the way he sat. Like the immortal King Thranduil, my hero Pietas is at home with himself, cocky, sure, and confident. He comes across as a narcissist but in truth, he harbors no doubt whatsoever about his abilities. At the beginning of Bringer of Chaos Pietas is already almost two thousand years old. A man should have plumbed the depth of his strengths and weaknesses by then, and like Thranduil, Pietas has mastered them. Sadly, that doesn't mean he can't fail.
Writing
the fight scene (excerpted below) meant I needed some new mood music.
This action sequence with reanimated special ops soldiers was unlike
anything I'd written before. I studied stunts in many action movies
and listened to so much new music I was afraid I'd forget what I was
there to do. I finally settled on combinations of moves by Jackie
Chan (speed) and Captain America (smooth motion). The best way to
write a fight is not to spend too much time on details. I know that
sounds wrong, but the truth is, the human mind can picture action
much better if writers don't try to fill in all the blanks.
A
punch to the jaw is fast and hard. Taking the time to explain the
impact of the fist against flesh and the way the jaw moves, the
expression on the person's face, how they fall back -- that takes up
time. Writing a fight means writing a scene that's fast. Pietas is
decisive. He doesn't hesitate for a moment to do whatever it takes to
win.
I
needed this scene to reflect his desperation. Those who had betrayed
him gave Pietas two options. Surrender or die a horrible death by
fire. He had been trapped in a situation and location that made
escape impossible. He had no way out except death or submission.
Defiant even in defeat, he created a third option of his own, and
that is what sets the scene.
On
YouTube, "Queen's Breach" by The Critical Mass is listed as "Epic
action aggressive driving rock powerful". One listen and you'll
agree. If this isn't Pietas in action as a fighter, I don't know what
is. Read the excerpt while you listen to this, and you'll see him in
action. I listened to it repeatedly while I choreographed and then
wrote the fight scene.
Queen's Breach - The Critical Mass
Song:
Queen's Breach, by The Critical Mass
Album: Out of the Ashes: The Critical Mass Collection
Copyright: 2014 Josh Mobley
Album: Out of the Ashes: The Critical Mass Collection
Copyright: 2014 Josh Mobley
Image
credit: Thranduil image presented to Kayelle Allen during the
#OneLastTime Twitter event before the premiere of The Hobbit: Battle
of the Five Armies.
Cover
art by The Author's Secret; Pietas image courtesy of
Depositphotos.com.
Excerpt from Bringer of Chaos: the Origin of Pietas
The
stasis pod Pietas hid behind rested on the floor, and came up to
mid-thigh. It hid him, but allowed no view of the door. A sudden
change of light told him soldiers had entered. Grunts, they wore
beams on their chests to light their way. The idiots had left them
on, which let him calculate the level of brightness. At least six.
That
was all he warranted? He hardly knew whether to be amused, or
insulted.
He
waited for a stirring of emotion, but felt none. Smart. They'd sent
either androids or ghosts with those new anti-emo chips. The latter
would be fun to fight. When he killed a reanimated special ops
soldier, would they experience a human death, or did they have to be
terminated like his people? How well did the chips work?
He'd
find out in a minute.
A
tiny trickle of fear leaked. That meant three things.
One:
ghosts. Two: anti-emo chips? Worthless. Three: even the dead feared
him.
More
fear leaked, and then frustration. The ghosts were fighting the
effect of the chip. They were afraid of being afraid. Typical. Humans
underestimated the power of death. They thought dying and coming back
to life meant you'd overcome the fear of dying. He had died thousands
of times, yet he still avoided it. Their anti-emo chips had given
them no edge whatsoever.
Excellent.
He could use that.
Another
hint of fear surfaced. It zinged over Pietas's skin like a cool
breeze, good as a waft of air. How interesting! Emotion from the
reanimated energized more than emotion from the living. He drew the
aetheric fear into himself, gathering strength.
The
silence meant no air had entered the room. He'd miss his favorite
sound: bones breaking in his enemies.
Remaining
on his side, Pietas let them get all the way inside the room.
Crowded
as the space was between his pod and the wall, two ghosts crept into
it. Six spots of light showed on the other side. Eight ghosts then.
That would be a much better fight. One nudged him with a foot.
Suppressing
a smile, he continued to play dead.
Ghost
One bent down, turned him onto his back.
Pietas
let his body flop.
The
guy came in closer, checked for a pulse.
He
opened his eyes.
The
ghost's alarm fed Pietas energy.
He
yanked him down, hard, while jamming the heel of his hand up. The
ghost's head snapped back, and Pietas felt his bones crack. He shoved
him aside and went after Ghost Two.
Pietas
gripped his leg and tripped him. He jammed an elbow down onto the
man's neck. Bones broke. The ghost's stab of dying fear spiked the
energy from the first, and Pietas mixed it with his gift of chaos. He
flung the vortex of emotions outward, broadcasting confusion and
terror.
He
activated his ability called zip. The pseudo speed meant he could
move at a regular pace, but humans perceived him as a blur. They
could not focus on him long enough to get close. To him, everyone
moved in slow motion.
He
flipped onto his feet, braced both hands on his pod, and kicked Three
and Four square in the chest.
He
pushed off the pod, and the momentum carried him straight into the
arms of Five and Six. They stumbled backward, tumbling Seven and
Eight onto the floor.
Pietas
rolled, grabbing Seven. One quick twist of the neck, and another
down. Five to go.
Six
and Eight flipped themselves to their feet. Three and Four struggled
to rise.
Pietas
took a running leap and crushed Three's neck. Four raised his hands
to shield his face. A swift kick to the head--gone.
Pietas
dropped, rolled, came up behind Eight. Broke his neck.
The
burning need for air hurt, but there were two to go.
He
turned, and a fist caught him in the mouth. Thrown off balance, he
danced sideways. Pietas touched his lip, and frowned at the spot of
blood. He met the gaze of Ghost Six, who'd punched him.
No
human had ever hit him before. Pietas gave a nod.
Five
and Six rushed him.
Turning
into Five's momentum, Pietas hurled him into the wall, jamming the
ghost's head down onto his spine.
He
whirled back to find Six standing beside Helia's pod, working a
control panel. The ghost held up a warning hand, and poised his other
over a bar with flashing red letters:
Immolate.
You
dare to threaten my
mother? Pietas sent daggers of empathic icicles outward.
As fast as he was, he could kill the ghost without killing her. He
darted forward.
Six
shook his head. "Don't make me,"
he mouthed. He patted a set of wristlocks at his waist, and then
pointed to the floor.
Giveaway - Free Download
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and print three PDF Bookmarks. The first features Six, the human
warrior. The second is Pietas, the immortal warrior. The third is the
two, back to back. The characters are drawn to scale: Six is 6'
(1.8m) tall.
Six
https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-six.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
Pietas https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas.pdf
Pietas and Six https://kayelleallen.com/media/boc-bookmark-pietas6.pdf
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2 comments:
This is a fantastic fight scene, Kayelle. The short sentences communicate a sense of action and breathlessness.
I hope that Bringer of Chaos is selling really well!
Thank you so much for sharing this! I got a note from a reader yesterday that just said "OMG he wiped the floor with them". LOL Yes! What I was going for. :)
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