Saturday, March 9, 2013

How to Meet a Secret Lover in Your Nightly Dreams

By Kim Hornsby (Guest Blogger)

Dreams can be freaky. Just the thought of going off somewhere with strangers while you sleep is enough to keep anyone awake. Anyone or anything can enter your dream life to attack or torment. Conversely, you can do anything within a dream, be anyone you want. Wouldn’t it be FAN-Freaking-TASTIC to just set an order for a dream about your favorite movie star or a tropical vacation and then go to sleep knowing it would be your REM entertainment? 

Some believe you can. Some experts think that dreams are nothing but your pesky hindbrain’s need for stimulation while the body has gone to sleep. During REM (Rapid Eye Movement or Deep Sleep) messages are sent to the front brain to keep active and those messages link up with your memories and feelings to concoct a dream. Here’s a funny example: In a study, dreamers who wore red colored glasses before sleep had dreams that involved the color red. Taking this further, I’m wondering if I went to sleep with photos of Hugh Jackman taped to my eyeballs...

If you were hoping that dreams were more mysterious, read on. Something truly freaky is coming. First though, just know that not everyone believes that your dream themes stem from sexual frustrations. Even Freud. Many scientists who’ve analyzed dreams have no explanations or interpretations but most agree that if you’re being chased, it probably means you’re afraid of something in waking life.

There is a whole, huge dream dictionary online where you can retrieve specifics but again, no one knows for sure what a dream means. Some common themes such as public nudity, losing teeth, and flying, continue to baffle even the best psychiatrists. I think we can all agree if you dream you have gone to a PTA meeting stark-naked, you have repressed insecurities and feelings of not being well liked by your peers. Can we move on to less obvious ideas now?

Flying is supposedly linked to sexual feelings but I disagree. I’d like to agree because I dream of flying all the time and I’m damned good at it. An expert, in fact. 'Nuff said.

My recurring dream theme is about entering a house with rooms, and doors, and connections to more rooms that never seem to end. Often the top floor is haunted by something evil, the wind swirling around ominously, spirits taunting me to climb the stairs etc. Sometimes I must rescue something up there. Once it was my mother who’d recently died. She was a tiny owl and I set her free out a window. But usually I avoid the top floor knowing that it is the worst form of evil there is and the likelihood of getting out is not good. I don’t even venture to the floor just below it in case something grabs me. According to dream sites, the house is me, my mind, and the attic is supposed to be my intellect. So what I get from this is: I’m afraid to be intelligent. Is that what you got too? In real life, I am not a cerebral Rhodes scholar type person whose thirst for knowledge drives me to distraction. I’m a people person (I like to say, cheerfully). So maybe my hindbrain wants more and my front brain thinks it’s a bad idea to get too smart. I don’t know.

Lucid dreams are when you know you’re dreaming within your dream. Ever done that? I remember as early as five years old having a dream about my kindergarten teacher throwing me down the stairs (don’t ask) and me saying to her that it was fine that she was about to send me flying because it was only a dream.

Then, there are things called W.I.L.D. dreams and I’m not talking about meeting the guy from Castle and the guy from Magic Mike in a huge bed waiting for you. Wake Induced Lucid Dreams are the holy grail of lucid dreaming. It’s a method of going from fully awake to a lucid dream of vivid proportions. Supposedly it takes a ton of practice and very few can do it. This is where ordering your dream might kick in nicely.

Here’s the freaky part I was telling you about. There is such a thing as a precognitive dream where you dream something that comes true. Now this idea is completely unexplainable in scientific terms and not well received by anyone who tends to think logically. However, Mark Twain once had a vivid precognitive dream showing his beloved brother in a coffin with an arrangement of roses on his chest, only to have it come true within the month. His brother was killed in a tugboat explosion and ended up in a coffin exactly like the one in the dream, right down to the one red rose in the midst of all the white roses. Charles Dickens had two supernatural experiences involving dreams. Once, his dead father visited him in a dream and Charles awoke to find him sitting on the edge of his bed. The second time, he dreamed of his sister in law who’d recently died. He’d loved her in real life and had several dreams of meeting her in his dreams. After one such dream, he awoke to see her apparition floating in his bedroom, eventually disappearing through the room’s ceiling. I did not know this when I wrote The Dream Jumper’s Promise but found this very interesting. If you read my book, you’ll see why.

In that novel I take the idea of lucid dreaming and W.I.L.D. dreaming one step further to a level where you are able to share dreams with another person. I honestly thought I made this up but it turns out there is such a thing as a shared dream. And it turns out there is a movie called "Inception" about this too. When I saw the ad for that movie a few years ago, I was angry that they’d somehow stolen my idea but I finished editing the book and eventually published anyways. I’m glad I did because there are many differences in how the writer of "Inception" and I approach dream jumping. For one, my jumper doesn’t intravenously squirt anything into his veins. He enters the dream through a psychic connection, matching his breathing to his subject’s. Luckily Jamey Dunn (my hero) is a moral person and would never jump into someone’s dream to swindle a Fortune 500 business man.

In The Dream Jumper’s Promise, Jamey and his former love Tina, (who has just lost her husband) share dreams to try to find out what happened the day the husband went surfing and never returned. I wanted to call it a paranormal theme but there are no vampires or shape shifters. Then I wanted to call it romantic suspense but it’s got this para aspect. Maybe someday Amazon Kindle will have a category within paranormal called Dream Jumping. 

During the time you are in REM at night, you are dreaming, whether you remember them or not. If you are woken during REM, you are more likely to remember your dream. Try this idea by setting an alarm clock. You could be rewarded by remembering one about your favorite movie actor. Or be given the plot to your next book. As Freud said, ‘Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious.”

Sweet Dreams.

Do you have freaky dreams? Ever dreamed something and then it came true? Had a recurring? Do tell!

About Kim

Kim is an avid dreamer, both asleep and awake. Writing novels was a dream for her and now she has two published. The Dream Jumper’s Promise and Necessary Detour. She once taught scuba off Maui, swam with dolphins on a regular basis and sang professionally. Now she raises children, wears mismatched socks to the grocery store and writes books in Seattle. 

Kim loves to hear from her readers and has a special fondness for 5 Stars.

Kim Hornsby
Commercial Women's Fiction
You only journey if you dare to leave home


Kim Hornsby said...

Thanks for having me over here Lisabet! I'm hoping to hear about some good dreams today.

Kim Hornsby said...

Oh, FORGOT to say that let's pick a WINNER of the best dream and you get a free copy of my book The Dream Jumper's Promise!

Author H K Carlton said...

This is a fantastic post, Kim. Very thought provoking. I'm not sure if what happens for me can be classified as a wake induced lucid dream or not. Most of the time I go out of my way not to think of a certain someone. But there are occasions when I am not strong enough or vigilant in keeping him from my thoughts, and if I consciously acknowledge, Okay so I thought of you, I know without a doubt that he will be in my dreams that night. Nine times out of ten, he is there. The thought of shared dreams, intrigues me, and in my own perverse way, I hope my dreams carry across town and he experiences the same kind of agony that I do. :p
Congratulations on the release of The Dream Jumper's Promise, Kim. All the best.

Vonnie Davis said...

I dream about my ex-husband just before I get sick. I've yet to figure out if my mind is telling me I need him because I'm going to be sick--and isnt' that a depressing thought?--or if dreaming about him is what makes me sick. I like that reasoning better, don't you? Great post!

fbonzo said...

Agreeing w/H.K. Carlton, Kim. This IS a very thoughtful essay (it's way too well-considered to be called just a blog entry :>). I've always had an extremely active and bizarre dreamlife myself. My dream universes work on a very different basis than waking reality. You've obviously done a lot of thinking and reading about this topic--and the rich world in Dream Jumper's Promise proves that--but I just wanted to mention a couple of touchpoints that you might find very interesting. First thing I did after reading your post and going "Hmmm--that's really interesting--wonder..." was to head out to wikipedia. There's a super article there under "Lucid Dream." If you haven't, check it out. Also, something kept tickling the back of my mind; I KNOW I've read some sf stories that dealt imaginatively w/this topic, then I remembered one good example--the novel "The Dream Master" by Roger Zelazny. I know how irritating it can be when people say "oh, your novel reminds me of..." That's NOT what I'm saying here. Your novel and Zelazny's are way different, but I do think you'd enjoy his treatment and thought of this cool subject. In case it wasn't clear from all this blather, I really enjoyed your post. Good luck with that upper floor!

LaVerne Clark said...

This was such a super-cool post, Kim! I'm adding it to my favourites - thanks! :)
I love dreaming, but sadly don't remember a lot of nights when I do. Maybe I need to get to bed earlier than I do? I'm going to give setting my alarm clock a go and see if that makes a difference. I love having flying dreams. I feel so powerful, but always feel a little let down when I wake in the morning and realize I can't. It feels so real. I've heard the suggestion that this is astrial-travelling (spelling?) Whether its true or not, I love the idea! I also remember having a vivid dream about Prince William over ten years ago. I'm not even remotely attracted to him, but ever since then, I've had a motherly soft-spot for him. Weird :)
I've got to go and check your book out now. I love the sound of it!

kim hornsby said...

Thanks Ladies! I.m absolutely fascinated hearing your dreams! Wow! Wish I wasn't.t at day genotyping on a Kindle. I.'ll check in later.

kim Hornsby said...

Keep trying to comment but I.m on a fading Kindle.morelater.

Kim Hornsby said...

Having trouble commenting on my Fading Kindle. Morelater

kimhornsby said...

These are the coolio-est comments I.'ve ever read! Love this discussion. Sadly I.m at day job but really want to join the discussion later. Thanks everyone.

Kim Hornsby said...

Thanks for your ideas and thoughts! Any blather is welcome blather on a blog. I will check out The Dream Master and probably will have to give it a read to see who else had a wonderful idea like me. Dreaming is such an enigma. I love this topic!

Kim Hornsby said...

Oh how mysterious! so this person actually exists? I once thought of writing a book where the protag met the same man every night in her dreams and had a whole other life. Might still. Thanks for commenting!

Kim Hornsby said...

Too funny! I'm putting on my dream analysis hat here, Vonnie! So maybe your ex signifies your need to be taken care of when you're sick, like you said or you subconsciously know you're getting sick, fear your mortality and feel the need to reach out to someone who knows you well.
Or maybe the thought of getting back with your ex brings on the cold chills and nausea, like you said.
Here's the good health!

kim said...

LaVerne: I get woken about 3 times a night by my puppy who parades around my bed with her toy, needing love so I remember a lot of dreams. I LOVE the flying dreams. Had one recently and it was vivid enough to make me wonder if I'd ever been a bird. I had a dream once about someone I'm not attracted to in waking life and since then, I've been wildly attracted to him because I felt such love in this dream. Guess who? Ashton Kutcher!
Happy Dreaming.

Lisabet Sarai said...

Welcome, Kim! You've really got readers excited with this post!

I could write pages about my dreams. They're vivid, bizarre, intensely emotional. I've definitely had lucid dreams (though never an induced lucid dream, at least not that I recall). Over the years, I've had a number of dreams that I'd categorize as prescient. In one, I dreamed that a dear friend was in the hospital, seriously ill. I was at his bedside, trying to comfort him. I later learned that his father had committed suicide the night I had the dream. In a less sombre situation, I dreamed that I met a female friend who had always been a bit wild and crazy, fancy-free. In the dream she told me she was pregnant, and I was very surprised. Within a week of having the dream, I learned that she was in fact going to have a child (after being married for five or six years, and much in conflict to my expectations).

One dream phenomenon: in my dreams, I always seem to have trouble with my cell phone. I can't figure out how to use it, or I mess up entering numbers every time I try, or it doesn't look like my phone at all. Anyone else have these experiences?

There's a great animated film by Richard Linkletter called "Waking Life", about the nature of reality and dreams. In that movie, a character comments that you know you're in a dream if the light switches don't work.

Great discussion, everyone!

Kim Hornsby said...

Light switches? Hmmm. In The Dream Jumper's Promise, Tina does a number of things but one of the best ways for her to tell if she's dreaming is trying to stick her hand through her abdomen.
Must check out Waking Life.
I think everyone deserves a copy of the book! Yipee! A round for the house.
Thanks for visiting and thanks for having me Lisabet.

Post a Comment