By Anna Watson and Alicia Wag (Guest Bloggers)
At one point when I was flagging,
feeling overwhelmed with the new-to-us juggling of logistics inherent
in starting from scratch to self-publish, Alicia wrote me a bracing
email, telling me that “we need to get our post-menopausal
who-gives-a-flying-fuck-what-you-think-of-me attitude on!”
How right she was! I rallied, and since
then, we’ve been cookin’ with lube, working our menopausal (yet
still extremely fetching) tushies off on the creation of Laz-E-Femme
Press and its first book, a 69, one side hers, one side mine.
We met over 20 years ago in a writing
workshop – a straight-ahead writing workshop, back when we were
both writing literary stories and working on novels. Alicia already
had 2 kids, and as the years passed, would have 2 more; I was about
to embark on parenthood, as well, and now have 2 teenagers. Somewhere
along the line, both of us started writing a lot more smut,
challenging each other to submit a manuscript to Black Lace (we
neither of us made the cut, alas) and enjoying the freedom to write
creatively about all manner of human sexual behavior.
Many years down the smut-writing road,
we agree that, for us, kindness and joy must be at the heart of every
one of our stories, even the ones that contain a hint of melancholy.
Stories with mean streaks, tales of ugly revenge or humiliation don’t
strike either one of us as sexy. Above all, we hope our stories will
make people feel good about their own unique sexualities and
sexiness, and perhaps give them an idea or two about something new
and fun to try in or out of bed.
And the Fuck-You Fifties? That would be
“fuck you” to naysayers, to the narrow view that the only kind of
fucking that’s interesting is that of very young folks or that
joyful, loving fucking isn’t the birthright of all of us, from
sexual maturity right through middle and old age. We start our
adventure in self-publishing with a book of collected smut, enjoying
the chance to work together as writers and publishers, friends and
sisters in porn.
We jumped at the chance to be guests
here at Lisabet’s blog, thinking it would be a great deadline for
us and that we would have the book all set up and ready to go by
then…yeah, right! Many a slip twixt tit and lip, and all that, and
currently we are slated to have a complete product for you avid
smutters sometime in late March or early April. In the meantime, like
us on Facebook, where you’ll hear all about Laz-E-Femme Press and
our first release. And our slight publishing delay won’t stop us
from bringing you off with a couple of excerpts. Kick off your pumps
and read! And Lisabet, thanks so much for inviting us to stop by!
From "Mrs. M.: A Case of Female
Hysteria" by Alicia Wag, Mrs. M: Stories by Alicia Wag
(6) Laz-E-Femme Press
Dr. Fleisher found
Mrs. Manning sitting on the edge of the table. She had taken off
the long skirt of her dress, but left the bodice with the high, lacy
collar. Her graceful, curved arms rested at each side of her like
wings. Her bare hands sat unmoving in her lap. They looked soft and
comfortable, the nails trimmed and neat.
She had neglected to
unfold the blanket. The square it made barely covered her ample hips,
and ended mid-thigh, so he could see her legs dangling lazily, and
her pampered looking feet. Before he could stop the thought, he found
himself thinking that she looked lovely. It horrified him. He had
certainly found other hysterics attractive, but it was always an
objective observation. “Mrs. Manning,” he whispered hoarsely,
“Unfold the blanket and lie down.” He turned his head, listening
to the sounds of Mrs. Manning shifting her body and the blanket into
place. When silence fell, he said, “Ready?”
“Yes,” she
answered.
Her eyes were closed
as if in rapture, the lids fluttering almost imperceptibly, her lips
parted, pink and moist. Dr. Fleisher walked to the foot of the table
and seated himself in the chair there,
unfolded the stirrups so they jutted out of each corner of the table
like arms. “Move down,” he said. Mrs. Manning scooted her body
closer, opening her eyes so she could see. “Put your feet here,”
said Dr. Fleisher, pointing to the stirrups.
One foot, then the
other peeked out from the edge of the blanket, landing perfectly in
the wooden containers. Dr. Fleisher’s head was right between them,
and up close, he saw that they were the smoothest, most perfect feet
he had ever laid eyes on.
He pushed the blanket
backwards, so that it draped over Mrs. Manning’s knees, between her
legs, shrouding every part of her but those pretty feet. Even though
technological improvements had enhanced pelvic massage treatments
considerably, shortening their duration and providing greater relief
for the patient, Dr. Fleisher found himself reaching for a jar. Mrs.
Manning’s legs twitched erratically as he dipped his fingers into
the warm, slick, scented oil. He put his other hand on the blanket,
finding her knee and squeezing it. “Relax, now, Mrs. Manning.”
from “House of L”
by Anna Watson, Slaphappy (9), Laz-E-Femme Press
When Sewer Rat first saw Hazard, she
gave me a quizzical look, like, “This is what I’m supposed to
work with?” I knew that she’d been dying to get her paws on him
since she’d been allowed to watch me do some training with him. She
confessed that he was so much her type that she’d spent her whole
time behind the one-way mirror stroking her very cute little pussy.
You wouldn’t know it from her ‘tude now, though, as she grumbled
under her breath about the poor quality of clients these days,
putting up her gloves and starting to circle her prey. She and Hazard
were wearing the same thing – headgear, gloves, knee and elbow pads
and spandex shorts, and they looked as pretty a matched pair as you
could imagine.
“What happened to you, loser?”
growled Sewer Rat. “Someone throw up on you?”
Hazard looked desperately at his
impeccable outfit, searching for the problem, as Sewer Rat let out a
loud, rasping laugh. She’s a cutie, that Rat, and I loved to see
how much fear she was able to throw in Hazards direction. Now she was
flowing through a cute little routine, dancing around the off-balance
Hazard, sending out little experimental jabs. He parried, as
instructed, but I could tell he was holding back, and so could she,
so she unleashed a flurry of punches. Then, giving him no time to
recover, she came around with a series of nicely executed kicks to
his chest and belly. He went down nice and polite, moaning just a
little bit. I picked up my bullhorn (nice touch, don’t you think?)
and commanded him to get up again. Everyone in the room but him was
grinning big. He managed to get upright relatively quickly. I
expected Sewer Rat to get right back into Hazard’s drubbing, but
she seemed to be kind of high on her mad little dance routines,
feinting and skipping all over the mats. I reminded myself that she
was still pretty inexperienced.
“Sewer Rat, concentrate!” I
shouted. “Slap the little turd into next week!”
Alicia Wag has been published in
The Mammoth Book of Erotica, Cleis Press's Best Women's Erotica
series, "Just Watch Me: Erotica for Women," Clean Sheets,
Hustler Fantasies, and Penthouse Variations
Anna Watson is usually found
writing femme/butch smut in titles such as Best Lesbian Erotica,
The Harder She Comes, Take Me There, Girl Crazy
and Girls Who Score. In Slaphappy she takes a turn
writing about girl/boy lovin’, but that doesn’t mean the
characters and situations are 100% straight or anything, ‘kay?
Visit Laz E Femme on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/laz.e.femme?ref=hl
4 comments:
Welcome to Beyond Romance, ladies! I love your attitude.
I'm a bit confused, though. Is "69" one book? Two books? Tell us more!
In any case, best of luck with Laz-E-Femme (such a great name!)
Hi Lisabet -- It's two books in one. Read one book, then flip it over and read another!
You go, ladies! I'm also in my fuck-you fifties, which as I tell my kids, is so freeing because you don't have to care what anyone else thinks about you anymore...not that I ever gave it much thought before either...
But kudos to you for coming up with a great solution to your mutual dilemmas, and starting your own pub-house. Good luck, ladies! Will look for more from you as you get it going.
Awesome post! I first read one of Anna Watson's stories in Best Lesbian Erotica and I've been a fan ever since. I'll have to check out the novel. So glad to hear about Laz-E-Femme. That's just fabulous.
Post a Comment
Let me know your thoughts! (And if you're having trouble commenting, try enabling third-party cookies in your browser...)