No Review Tuesday! #Books #ReviewTuesday #AmReading

I just can’t keep up....

I really like to do one review per week; I normally finish more than one book during that period. However, I’ve been so busy with real-world work I just haven’t had the time to write a review for this week. Indeed, I've hardly had time to breathe.

At the moment, I have a bunch of titles stacked up for reviews. Here’s a quick list – but this week, at least, I can’t give you an actual review.

Unsheltered by Barbara Kingsolver

Meticulously structured, warmly imagined, politically trenchant novel about two families living in the same house, a hundred years apart. Some things don’t change...

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte

Desperate unrequited romance, with a touch of the Gothic. Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights were early favorites of mine, but somehow I had never read anything by the third Bronte sister, until now.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

Dark, totally original fantasy. Supposedly this is a young adult novel, but it’s intelligent enough and creepy enough for us grown-ups.

Meanwhile, I am currently reading:

The Septembers of Shiraz by Dalia Sofer

Harrowing semi-autobiographical tale about growing up Jewish in post-Revolution Iran.

Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow

Science fiction awash in ideas.

The Flying Troutmans by Mirian Toews 

Quirky, funny and tragic tale of a peculiar family.

... 

I think there might be more, but I’m feeling too scattered to recall.

Maybe I’ll manage a review next week. Do you have a preference?

Learning to Say No (#stress #deadlines #amwriting)

I hate pressure, absolutely hate it. When I have a deadline looming and my writing isn't going smoothly, you'd be well-advised to go somewhere else. I moan, I cry, I literally tear at my hair. (Fortunately I have a lot of hair.) My head aches. My back hurts. Even the cats know enough to hide under the sofa.

You want to know the truth, though? The pressure doesn't really come from outside. Although I expend a huge amount of energy trying to keep my life organized in order to avoid crises and crunches, in fact I create the pressure.

I used to make myself sick when I was a schoolchild, worrying about my grades. An A- just wasn't good enough. If I didn't get an A, I'd be a total mess, most likely in tears, much to the disgust of my classmates. Now, this didn't come from my parents. Certainly, they emphasized the importance education (which was hardly necessary, since I loved the life of the mind from my earliest days). However, they never pushed me to be the absolute best in the class, nor punished me on the rare occasions that I fell short of my extreme targets. No, that need to excel came from somewhere inside of me.

Writing is like that for me, too. I'm the one who establishes the goals. Nobody forces me to write. I willingly commit to deadlines. No one is going to kick down my door and rough me up if I don't follow through.

The notion of not meeting a deadline, though, is practically unbearable. If I've made a commitment, then I'm going to fulfill it, come hell or high water, the Rapture or the tornado of the century. When I suspect that might not possible, I fall apart.

The presence of deadlines, the accumulation of tasks on my to-do list, and the inevitable unforeseen obstacles - these aren't the source of the problem. No, it's my reaction. I panic. I hyperventilate. I lose exactly the concentration that I need in order to make progress.

So really, what I need to do is manage my reactions. Not easy, but clearly possible. Meditation, exercise, enough sleep, these are all strategies that can help. Mostly I need to get my priorities straight. Yes, my deadline is important, but not as important as my relationship with my husband or my own inner peace.

I understood something else, however, as I continued to consider my post. Sometimes the external aspects of a crunch are also my fault, because I'm so bad at saying no.

I'm the perennial volunteer. When my publisher sends out a note saying that they're in critical need of a story or two for an anthology, I'm ready to pony up and commit to supplying one. When I'm contacted by a fellow author, asking if I'll help judge a writing contest, how can I refuse? Peer reviews needed? Lisabet can oblige. Crit for a colleague? Of course - after all, I've received so much help from others' crits, it's only fair to pay it forward. Take charge of editing a series of books? Gee, I'm so flattered - I'd love to.

This happens in other areas of my life, too. A few weeks ago, an academic colleague mentioned passing that it would be great if I could give a guest lecture to her class on a subject where I have special expertise. Before I knew it, I'd agreed to creating a brand new two hour presentation, which ended up taking two days to prepare - two days that I might have devoted to my work in progress, if I'd thought for a moment and declined.

I've wondered whether my urge to say yes has anything to do with my submissive tendencies. Or maybe I just want people to like me. Actually, to be honest, I think that pride is a factor - you know, the kind that goeth before a fall? I know that I'm competent in a variety of areas and also that I'm the sort who gets things done. When someone identifies a need, I figure that I can do at least as good a job satisfying that need as most people. Perhaps at some level I'm even trying to show off.

I've got to watch myself, though. Pressure just isn't healthy, for me or for my writing career. The quality of my writing is far higher when I can approach it in a spirit of play, rather than as a task that has to be completed.

So I've got to practice saying no, even when I'm dying to say yes. Perhaps some role playing as a Domme might help. You want me to do what to do what to you? Dream on, slave.

On the other hand, I know that would be terribly difficult for me. I've written dominant characters, but they're usually far more indulgent toward their subs than they probably should be. Face to face with a submissive who's eager to offer you his or her whole self - how could you refuse?

Resolutions

It's only a few days until 2012 arrives, but I've been so busy with work I've hardly had the chance to think about the question. I have today "off", though, and so I'm trying to catch up - no, I'm trying to catch my breath, actually, to slow down a bit and consider what lies ahead.

Usually I don't make New Year's resolutions. I feel that I'd like to this year, though, because I'm not 100% pleased with the way I handled 2011. 'Way too much stress. Too much guilt, too, about the things I thought I should be doing. I've made my poor husband miserable complaining about how much promotion I have to do, but when he very rationally suggests that maybe I should cut back, I start to make excuses about how I can't...

I'm starting 2012 with the premise that if I'm not enjoying some aspect of my life, there's something wrong. That's an area I should look at, and change if I can. When my writing and the associated marketing become a chore, that's a danger signal.

So here are my promises to myself for the coming year.

1. I resolve to worry less. I know that worrying is not the same as planning. It depletes my energy and makes it even harder for me to get things accomplished. Very few things are the life and death issues they might seem to me. I want to meet my commitments, but honestly, the world won't stop if I fail to blog or don't send out my newsletter on time.
2. I resolve to complain less. Sharing my problems and asking for help is one thing - that's a practical step toward improving a situation. But just whinging about how busy or stressed or miserable I am accomplishes nothing. It just shows a lack of consideration for the person I'm forcing to listen.
3. I resolve to be grateful for my gifts. It's so easy to compare myself with someone else and feel inadequate. I need to remember that the ability to imagine stories, write them down and get them published is a tremendous blessing. It doesn't matter how many books I've written. Every one is an accomplishment.
4. I resolve to take more time off for fun. Too often during 2011, I put off recreation or relaxation until I'd polished off my to-do list. Frequently that meant I'd never get to have fun at all. In 2012 I'm going to ignore the inner voice calling me lazy. We all need a balance between work and play.

Notice that all of my resolutions are relative. I'm sure that in 2012 I'll still complain, still feel inadequate, still work too hard. If I can do less of these things than I did during the past year, though, I'll be satisfied.

After all, we're all works in progress.

A Writer's Stress at the Holidays

By Sapphire Phelan (Guest Blogger)

Writers live with stress much of the time. Whether due to a deadline or writer’s block to even a storyline suddenly going a new directions (characters can do that to you), a writer really goes into stress overdrive when the holidays show up.

Just after Halloween is come and gone, NaNo is here and writers sign up to write 50,000 words in thirty days. This could be their next novel or maybe even their first one that will sell to an agent or a publisher. But what the writer forgets when he/she starts this is the holidays are beginning—with Thanksgiving. The day after that is the first day of holiday shopping. It’s not too bad for one who is single, but those writers with families, pressure is on.

Some writers just take a holiday from writing until after the New Year. After all, January is nothing a month of freezing cold temperatures and depression. Writing would take the author aways from all that. While others set up time here and there to write. It’s for those writers who want to persevere that maybe the following tips will be most useful to take away the tension.

Take a walk. When everything gets to you, take a walk on a nearby walking path or the neighborhood. Get back to nature or view the Christmas lights on neighbors’ homes - the beauty will take your breath away.

Lock yourself in the bathroom, fill the tub full of your favorite bubble bath, place a lighted candle on the sink counter nearby, and open up a bottle of your favorite wine (hey, there’s chocolate wine now!), pour it in a glass, and take a soak.. Maybe even play your favorite music or even Christmas music. Or just do it in silence. There’s nothing like a good soak to drain away tense muscles and jumpiness.

Yoga and exercise. I have never done yoga, but I heard from others it is very helpful in tension relief and even losing weight. As for exercise, there is nothing better for getting the kinks out - besides losing weight. Plus if you start the day off with a half hour of exercise, it helps the brain matter too. Which helps the writer in story writing.

Take the time to just sit and do nothing. Go read a book or watch a favorite DVD. Sometimes, we all need to relax to put the anxiety off. When’s the last time you just start and stared at the ocean, or stood and watched a squirrel doing its things from your front door or window? Puts perspective on life, doesn’t it?

Massage. Though most times one has to go somewhere and pay for a massage, maybe you may have a friend or relative who can massage the tension from your muscles.

Stretching. I say this is good to do a few times during the day, starting when you wake up. Stretching puts years on your life. We don’t stretch enough. It makes the muscles happy with us.

Self-hypnosis. You can hypnotized yourself to lose weight, cut down on smoking and yes, ridding stress from your life.

Meditation. Just take time to sit or lay, and set your mind off somewhere else.

Breathing. Breathing exercises are always a big help. They provide convenient and simple stress relief in that they can be used anytime, anywhere, and they work quickly.

Enjoying a good game with a group of friends, or playing something relaxing online can take your mind off of your stressors, and can lead to a more relaxed state. Games are stress relievers that work well because people enjoy them enough to use them regularly.

Sex. Yes, this can be one of the biggest stress relievers around. It incorporates several other stress relief ingredients--breathing, touch, social connection, and a few others--and brings a rush of endorphins and other beneficial chemicals with orgasm.

Laughter. Just laugh out loud with a big belly laugh, or watch a funny movie or read some jokes.

Listen to music. Take the time to sit and play some of your favorite type of music. Not heavy metal or rap, but maybe something soft and relaxing.

Aromatherapy. This has proven benefits for stress relief--it can help you to become energized, more relaxed, or more present. Get some great smelling candles that are for this and set them up around your work space.

Eat a balanced meal, less caffeine, and drink in moderation.

These are just some of the tips to help you, the writer, to take the holidays and your writing deadlines in stride. Remember, view the holidays as a time of joy and balance both them and your writing, and you the writer will be a happy person.

~ Sapphire Phelan

Dark heroes and heroines with bite...sink your teeth into a romance by Sapphire Phelan today.

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Blurb for A Familiar Tangle With Hell:

Tina and Charun thought it was all over and that their life would be normal—well, as normal as it could be for an immortal Witch and her demon Familiar. Except there was another prophesy, one that laid claim that if Lucifer snatches Tina and mates with her before the last chime before midnight of the new year and gets her pregnant with his son, that the real Armageddon would begin, spelling the end of life as they knew it.

When Tina is stolen away, Charun, along with Jacokb the archangel, must race against time into the bowels of Hell to rescue her. But with demons, Lucifer, and a cute demon bunny with fangs out of a Monty Python nightmare, out to stop them and Heaven not lending a hand, will Tina become the mother of the Antichrist and the start of a new Hell on Earth?

The Prologue of A Familiar Tangle With Hell:

Some days, it just didn’t pay to rebel against your father. Most especially if your father was God Himself. War was hell, especially when the rebels’ own survival mattered in winning. A terrible pit of darkness made by God to be their prison loomed at their feet. And it looked like the rebels were losing.

Glancing over his shoulder as he fought, Charun saw swirling masses of various shades of darkness. When the hem of his glowing robe flipped over the edge, some of that darkness reached up with grasping fingers to take hold, no doubt trying to pull him in. When he stepped forward, the stuff cried out, upset that it didn’t get to embrace him into its fold.

Charun should have listened to that inner psychic voice that told him not to listen to Lucifer, but oh no, he told it to shut up and just blindly followed where angels should always fear to tread. He was a stupid brat who didn’t know what was good for him.

Barreling through a plethora of angelic hosts that fell aside like pins on a bowling alley struck by a ball, Charun winged his way to Lucifer’s side, sword in hand. His leader in the revolt against Heaven was battling their brother, the archangel Michael. Charun landed beside him and immediately slipped in his own sword.

It didn’t faze Michael in the least. He hadn’t slowed down once, not even with all the wounds Lucifer had given him.

Michael said, “Give up, brother. You know you will lose.”

Lucifer bit back, “God made those disgusting hairless apes and called them beautiful—more beautiful than us. It is time we archangels took over. He is going senile. You know that, Michael, so why do you follow him blindly. Join us, brother, embrace the freedom.”

Michael turned to Charun. “Charun, why are you with him? You’ve always been one of the good ones.”

Charun retorted, “I am sick to death of being good. What did it get me? Nothing! I been to the mortal realm and seen how the mortals get to eat and fornicate. And yet, God says, do not lie with the mortal women. It is forbidden. We must follow His rules and have no free will. Yet, his hairless apes have free will.”

Sadness glinted in Michael’s eyes. “God has reasons for the rules.”

Charun spit, the glowing stuff landing by Michael. “Well, Lucifer said to try it and see what would happen. So I lay with this one virginal daughter of Man and except for her enjoying it, nothing happened. No crash of thunder or Heaven-sent spankings. Just the most wonderful feeling came over me as I spilt my seed into her.”

Michael said no more but fought harder. Soon he drove back not only Lucifer, but Charun, too. Both found themselves with the other rebellious angels at the edge of some gigantic chasm that suddenly appeared. Fighting to keep their balance, both of them watched as Michael stepped back and the other rebels, forced by the other angels, fell into the pit with high pitched screams. Charun took care not to fall as he turned around, but his sword slipped from his grasp and it spun down in slow motion into the pit.

A great booming voice thundered, “For transgressions against me, the Fallen shall be cast into the pit of despair and anguish. This pit will be henceforth known as Hell, and my son, Lucifer, will be its self-crowned prince. There will be no pity and no chances, to ever leave this place or for redemption. Only if I deemed so, can anyone leave its embrace. You all chose your Hell, now burn in it!”

Charun stared down into the swirling masses and, for the first time, wondered if he hadn’t been a teeny bit hasty in listening to Lucifer. Once shoved down into that place, that meant that he could never return to Heaven’s graces. Never see the visage of God, his Father. Never know peace and tranquility. Never know…

“Charun, you are sentenced to live your eternity in the Pit of Hell as a demon.”

Charun fell.

Buy A Familiar Tangle With Hell

About Sapphire Phelan:

Sapphire Phelan writes erotic and sweet paranormal/fantasy/science fiction romance along with erotic horror stories and urban fantasy. Her erotic urban fantasy, Being Familiar With a Witch (The Witch and the Demon Familiar series) is a Prism 2010 Awards winner and a Epic Awards 2010 finalist.

She also has done acting on stage and in films. And is a Master Costumer, costuming since 1972. For more on her, check out her website at http://www.SapphirePhelan.com

She admits she can always be found at her desk and on her computer, writing. And yes, the house, husband, and even the cats sometimes suffer for it!