Friday, January 26, 2024

All of us mortal – #Aging #Memories #Erotica

Scarborough castle at sunset

Scarborough Castle at sunset - Photo by Lisabet Sarai

Yesterday I received something of a shock. From a fellow author’s newsletter, I learned that Victoria Blisse, a stalwart of the U.K. erotica and erotica romance community, had died. I’d been out of touch with Victoria for a long time, but she was one of a long list of writer friends whom I hold in the light during in my daily meditations. Plus she was one of the few members of my writing community whom I’d actually met in person.

Victoria was a live wire, enthusiastic about everything including kink. She edited and published a series of great erotic anthologies called Smut by the Sea, sexy stories loosely linked by their settings near the beach. She also organized several erotic writers conferences with the same title, in the glorious historic town of Scarborough. That’s where I was lucky enough to meet her (as well as a number of other authors I’d previously known only in the digital realm).

That day-long adventure was one of the peak experiences in my seven-decade existence. I so rarely have the opportunity to live my identity as Lisabet Sarai. That day, I could be as outrageous and seductive as I liked. People wore corsets and carried riding crops. We had workshops on craft. We hugged and congratulated ourselves on escaping from convention, for one day at least. I met people who’d only been names in a table of contents before. I did a steamy reading from one of my novels, just barely managing to finish within the time limit and escape the promised penalty of a spanking.

I’ll never forget the excitement, the pride, the undercurrent of arousal... You can’t get thirty erotic authors together without people feeling turned on.

Victoria also ran a blog event called Sunday Snog, encouraging her friends to post kiss excerpts. Note that the kiss didn’t necessarily have to be mouth-to-mouth! She had very few inhibitions.

I believe she was at least ten years younger than I am, so the notion that she’d passed on hit me hard. Then I realized that despite that age gap, at this point she was, like me, elderly. It’s so hard for me to get used to the idea of aging – not just my aging, but everyone I know. But I’ve been part of the erotica community for nearly twenty five years now. We’ve all gotten old... at least physically.

And we are all of us mortal. One could see that as depressing, but I’d prefer to focus on the unique joys of today as well as the fantastic memories I’ve accumulated over that long time.

I’ll cherish my memories of Victoria Blisse. And even if she’s gone, I can still hold her in the light.

In her honor, here’s a link to a Sunday Snog I posted that was inspired by Smut by the Sea. Victoria was the first person to comment. I can hear her voice in my mind.

May she, and all of those whom she touched, be blessed.

https://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com/2015/06/smut-by-sea-snog-177-and-contest.html

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