Growing Towards the Light

Today, September 10th, is the Unity World Day of Prayer.

That might seem like an odd thing to discuss on the blog of an erotica author. However,  although I'm not active in any established religious organization, prayer and meditation are an important part of my life. Spirituality and sexuality are closely linked for me--that's a personal perspective that I often bring into my writing.

So I begin every day with perhaps ten minutes of silence, inspired by the Unity publication Daily Word.  I've subscribed to this little magazine for forty years. Each day it offers a word and a related affirmation, as a jumping off point for personal spiritual exploration.

Sometimes while I'm mediating (or praying, or whatever...the labels are not important), I'm inspired with a new affirmation which feels particularly relevant to me personally.  A few days ago, the following popped into my mind:

I am growing toward the Light. 

That's such a perfect expression of how I feel about spiritual life (and life in general). I've made mistakes (we all do). I have days where I'm grumpy and frustrated and don't appreciate all my blessings. Overall, though, my life is a progress toward greater understanding, compassion, gratitude and joy. The light of Spirit attracts me the way the sun attracts a plant, gently pulling me in the direction of greater good.

The affirmation for the day of prayer is:

As I pray, I connect my highest thoughts with my deepest faith.

I like this. Because for me prayer is a connection. It links me in thought with the ones I love, for whom I pray each day. It binds me to my commitment, often forgotten, to live a life of kindness and celebration. 

You, my readers and my colleagues, are part of that connection. I pray that you have health, happiness and above all, love, today and every day.

~ Lisabet

The Secret of Success

I was thinking about success this morning, during my morning meditation. Specifically, I realized that success in reaching a goal or completing a task does not depend on how many hours of work you put in. It doesn't depend how much you obsess and plot and plan, or even what skills you have. Yes, what you do does matter - of course it does. But not nearly as much as what you feel and believe. 

The most important step in attacking any challenging task is to prepare your mind and heart. Calm your anxiety. Quiet your chattering thoughts. Breathe deeply, and believe that you have whatever you need to succeed - knowledge, skill, determination, inspiration. Move forward in confidence, with faith in yourself, and you can accomplish far more than you would ever dream possible.

I realize that this sounds like mystical mumbo jumbo, but I've seen demonstrations of its truth in my own life, again and again. When I believe, I astonish myself. When I question my abilities, when I falter and lose heart, I stumble and fall.

I remember a simple but telling example. Long ago, one of my boyfriends had this neat trick. He could light a match with one hand, folding it against the striking surface of the match book and hitting it just right. Trivial, right? But surprisingly difficult. He taught me the technique, but I couldn't seem to get it to work. He grinned at me and said, "Lisabet, the problem is that you think you can't do it. Believe you can, and see what happens."

He was right. As soon as I let go of my conviction of failure, I was successful every time. When I let the doubts creep back, I lost the knack.

Recently, author Michael Lewis gave a baccalaureate address at Princeton, his alma mater.  One of his points - which generated a lot of commentary online -  was that success is much more a matter of chance than people normally admit. Successful people like to think that they've earned everything they have, that all their accomplishments can be attributed to intelligence and ability, but in fact, chance encounters and random events play a big role.

I agree with this - with one proviso. I think that one's attitude determines how we react to those random events, whether we turn them into assets or let them pass. If you believe in your own ability to succeed, you will be ready to capitalize on every positive accident that befalls you. And you'll be more able to shake free of the negative events, too.

When we tell ourselves we can't succeed, we are condemning ourselves to failure. When we approach  our goals with confidence, we're halfway to achieving them. Of course, we still have to do the work. I still have to write that novel, create the query letter, send it out to publishers, negotiate the contract, do the edits, plan and execute the marketing efforts. However, if I begin with the conviction that I can write that novel and get it published - well, it's only a matter of time and effort before that happens.

And now - it's back to work!

Prayer

Now that's an odd topic for an erotica author's blog, isn't it? I write steamy fiction that sometimes breaks taboos. What does that have to do with prayer?

Well, I wanted to talk about prayer because paradoxically, it's only since I've joined the erotic romance community that I've felt comfortable even mentioning the word. Most of my friends in the real world would raise their eyebrows if I told them that every morning, I spend ten to fifteen minutes praying. If I told them that I meditate, that wouldn't be viewed as too odd. But in fact what I do is much closer to prayer than meditation.

First I read the day's message in Daily Word, a publication of Silent Unity (www.unity.org). Each day this little booklet offers a word, an affirmation, a few paragraphs to serve as a meditation guide, and a Scripture quote. Today's word, for example, was "Good" and the affirmation was "God is all, and God is good".

Next, I sit quietly and try to open my mind and heart, focusing on the word and what it means to me. Sometimes I'm given new insights, not directly related to the day's topic. Today my attention was drawn to a sentence in the meditation text: God's good flows effortlessly. I was planning to spend much of the day writing and was feeling pressured about how much I could accomplish. This sentence helped me to relax and let go of some of the tension.

After I've spent a while seeking personal insight, I turn to a mental list of other people for whom I'm praying. Often, I can see how the day's word applies to their situation. Sometimes, I simply envision them surrounded by light, or laughing, filled with joy.

This is the part of my morning routine that is closest to what other people call prayer. However, I'm not really petitioning some Higher Power to give them what they need. Rather, I'm trying to use the power of imagination to see them as the perfect children of Spirit that I believe we all are.

I read somewhere once, "Prayer doesn't change God. It changes us." This captures pretty well the way I see things. I believe that so-called "reality" can change depending how we look at it. Prayer is about changing our perspective, taking a higher view, and recognizing the intrinsic order of the universe.

Anyway, in the romance community, you don't have to be embarrassed talking about prayer. People often post requests for prayer on the chat lists to which I subscribe. I've done so myself. I suspect that many of my fellow romance authors and readers have a more orthodox view of prayer than I do, but that doesn't really matter. We are united in our belief in the efficacy of prayer, however we define it.

I know from experience that prayer works. I've seen what I'd at least call miracles - both large and small. It's a comfort to be able to talk about this, to write about it, and not be the butt of mocking laughter.

I want to thank the romance community for this freedom.