Trick or Treat! (#BDSM #FlashFiction #Halloween #freereads)

"Which would you prefer, Sarah, the cane or the feather duster?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"Why do you ask? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do. But you do have a way of twisting things around in unexpected directions."

"I thought you liked surprises. In any case, as your Master it's my responsibility to add a certain - ambiguity - to our interactions. To keep you on your toes."

"These ridiculous spike heels do that well enough."

"If I hear any more complaints or excuses, Sarah, I will make you very sorry. And I don't mean something you'd enjoy like a spanking or nipple clamps."

"I..."

"Sarah! Just answer my question. Now."

"Well... I choose the cane."

"Really? Why is that? You're blushing, you know. Tell me why you prefer the cane."

"Well - um - I think it will hurt more. And that it will please you more, to see me enduring that pain."

"But I asked what you wanted. Not what you think I'd want."

"Mm..."

"What was that?"

"There's no difference, Master. What I want is to please you, to fulfill your every lust, to satify your desires before you are even aware of them."

"Silly, romantic girl. You sound like a novel."

"It's the truth. I can't help it."

"So - " (Swish!) "you want the cane, do you?"

"Yes, Master."

"Last time, you remember, you couldn't sit down for two days." (Swish!)

"I remember."

"Very well. Bend over and hold on to the edge of the table. Good." (Swish!)

"Ow -- oh! Oh!!"

"You're awfully slick, Sarah. The cane slides back and forth in your pussy as though it was greased."

"Uh...ooh..."

"Spread your legs a bit more. That's right. Now I can rub the bamboo right up against your clit."

"Oh, Master! Oh...!"

"I think that talking about the pain makes you hot. But what about the pain itself?"

"Uh...ooh...I don't know."

"We should do some experiments in that area, don't you think? Oh, there's the doorbell. Some urchins come to extort their candy from us, no doubt. Get up and answer it, Sarah."

"What? Like this?"

"Naked, in high heels, with a cane wedged in your crotch? Why not?"

"Please, the neighbors are already suspicious about us. All the screams and so on. If I expose myself to their kids, they're going to report us. These days, especially, anything involving children is especially dangerous."

"Hey, you'd probably like it in prison. All those rough, nasty guards... Come on, Sarah, I'm only teasing you. Here, throw this over your head. Then go answer the door."

"But..."

"I'll give you butt! Don't argue. I swear, for someone who claims to be my slave you give me a lot of lip."

"I'm sorry, Master. But I must look like Casper with an erection."

"You do, rather. Never mind. Go give the grubby little devils what they deserve, then get back here."

"Yes, Master."

...

"So, who was it?"

"Two Darth Vaders, one Power Ranger, one Harry Potter and a most convincing Elvira, Mistress of the Dark."

"Hmm, sounds appealing. Should have invited her in."

"Master... ow!"

"Your nipples are like marbles, little Sarah. And how's that cane doing? Walk around a bit for me. Very fetching. But I think you're having a bit too much fun. Let me have it."

"Ooh...ah! Are you going to beat me now?"

"Perhaps. Would you like that?"

"Whatever you'd like, Master."

"Hmm. Is that so? So many possibilities... Go back to the table and bend over again. Thighs wide. That's right. Now, reach back and pull open your cheeks. Yes, very nice. So sensitive and vulnerable. I really should cane you, Sarah. You deserve it, for your insolence and your questions. But..." (Zip!) "I'm just too indulgent to train you properly..."

"Oh...MASTER!"

...

"Master?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"The cane was delicious, a real treat. I was wondering what you planned to do if I had chosen the feather duster."

"Actually, I was going to break off the feathers and use the sharp quills to pierce the flesh around your nipples."

"No! Not really! You wouldn't do that! Would you?"

"You can never be sure, Sarah, can you? That's why you love me."

"Only one of the reasons, Master. One of many."

~~~

For more fun, free stories, visit my website: http://www.lisabetsarai.com/freereads.html

In particular, check out this month's offering, a new MM paranormal serial entitled Not Quite Dead.

Learning as I Go Along

A few days ago I posted an excerpt from my first novel as part of another blog post. As I was reading the post over, I found myself cringing a bit. The prose struck me as rather plodding and uninspired, while the dialogue struck me as stiff and unrealistic. Did I really want to expose this snippet to the world?

It's true that the content of the excerpt was highly arousing (the blog topic was sex and food), but the presentation seemed so pedestrian! In the end, I did include the segment, but the experience made me realize how much I've learned in the dozen years since I wrote Raw Silk.

Grammar, punctuation and vocabulary have never been a problem for me. However, when I read my early novels, I recognize that I had a tendency to write long sentences that would be appropriate for an academic article, but are not usually right for fiction. Over time, I've learned that sometimes short, direct sentences are what's needed, especially to keep the action moving.

I've also learned, mostly by reading other authors and focusing on their strategies, how to create more natural conversations among my characters. One funny thing about the dialogue in Raw Silk: the characters almost never use contractions! Now, one of the heroes is not a native speaker of English, so his stilted and formal mode of speech was deliberate. However, the other characters are American or British. For the most part, people don't say "I cannot" or "I will not" unless they're going for emphasis.

My early dialogue also tends to use full sentences. People don't, in general.

One reviewer of my second novel, Incognito, wrote: "This author can't write natural dialogue to save her life." Although I cringed at the comment, the reviewer was justified in making the point. (She could have been a bit less snarky, but overall she liked the book, so I can't complain!)

The difference in style between my second and third novels seems huge. Ruby's Rules is not as popular as my first two novels (probably because of the content, which includes heavy BDSM and F/F interactions) but I think it is far better written. One reason may be that I switched to using first person. When my characters are speaking their thoughts, it's easier for me to hear their voices in my mind and transcribe them onto the page.

It's slightly discouraging to read my early work, but on the other hand, I know that I am learning as I go along. I expect that when I look back at what I'm writing, ten years from now, I'll shake my head and grin ruefully at my mistakes.

At least, I hope that I will!

The Fine Line Between Insanity and Dialogue

By Dorothy Cox (Guest Blogger)

Thank you so much for having me on your blog.

One of my favorite things to do with my friends is to read unpublished manuscripts by fellow writers. The internet has so many websites where authors can show off their unpublished work.

We’ve seen many wonderful manuscripts, and some that were not so wonderful. The difference?

Well, most of the time it’s dialogue. Some of the worst manuscripts have dialogue that doesn’t flow well. The writer wants to get somewhere and instead of taking the time to get there they just jump right in. They go from a normal sentence straight to the good stuff without a comprehensible transition. A reader notices when dialogue jumps ahead without evolution. Pretty soon your reader is too busy wondering why the character is so irrational, and not really reading what’s going on anymore.

You may know where you need the conversation to go, but when you talk to someone a conversation has a natural flow to it. If you want your characters to fight the conversation has to slowly escalate to a fight. You don’t just go from “I want a sandwich,” to “Get out of my house” in two sentences. You have to think about how to get there from where you are. A lot of this has to do with your characters motivations, and feelings. The reader needs to be aware of these as they read. They need to understand your character, and empathize with them. Bring some of the thought process into the dialogue.

In order to make your dialogue flow like a real conversation you need to be able to have a conversation with yourself. My father always told me that you weren’t crazy if you talked to yourself, you were crazy if you answered yourself. Well maybe we need to dip our toes into the crazy end of the pool. Become your character. Why are they going to get mad? Then bring some of your own life into it. We all do it. Think about the last fight you had. Why did you get mad? What part of that can you bring into your argument? How about your own motivations? Bring them along too.

Arguments don’t start off yelling, they start off as a normal conversation. Someone says something like “I want a sandwich.” Now start talking to yourself. Don’t be afraid to go off on a tangent. Tangents are good. But while you are off on your tangent keep asking yourself where can it go from here? A normal progression would be an offhand comment that can be taken further, to slightly escalate the fight.

A normal reaction could be “You always eat sandwiches. Don’t you eat anything else?” Well now someone’s made a comment that can drive you straight into an argument, and before you know it she’s kicking him out of the house before you can turn the page. And let’s be honest, aren’t most fights usually about something stupid? It doesn’t have to be the most important thing in the world, it just has to get you where you’re going. Just take a few minutes, dip your toe in the crazy end, and talk to yourself. The dialogue practically writes itself.

Bio: I’m a college student in Fresno, California. I’ve won a couple of awards for writing, and have been featured in the newspaper. I’ve been writing books since I was three or four, and I made my parents staple my coloring pages together so I could write a book on it. It wasn’t a success. Almost twenty years later I wrote my first real book, Watcher. When I’m not working, writing, or going to school I’m with my husband, probably sleeping.

Website: http://www.dorothycoxwriting.com/index.html

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/dorothycoxwriting

Book trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz4O8zmJB-8