By Nora Snowdon (Guest Blogger)
Thanks
for having me on your blog, Lisabet. As the Writer
of Elegant Smut, there are a few misconceptions about
my craft that I’d like to clear up. Writing straight smut is not
just continually describing heaving bosoms and throbbing manhoods
(love guns? joy sticks? turgid rods o’steel?) in sweaty
action.
Hell
no!
We
also have to write the part where the nerdy pizza delivery guy walks
up to the front door accompanied by cheesy 1970’s jazz music. The
door is then opened by a heavily made-up babe with over-inflated
boobs. (Note, if you’re ever on a sinking ship, stand next to
this woman. I bet those things are great flotation devices! But I
digress…)
The
point is, you need context for your smut. And if you are writing
Elegant Smut
(i.e. romance) you need to include even more details
not actually related to the boink-fests. A plot, for example, is
often considered important in romance. And with plot comes
characterization. Who are these star-crossed lovers and what exactly
is crossing their stars?
If
you’re writing a 75,000 word novel, you’d better have a pretty
good conflict tearing the two lusty protagonists apart. Otherwise
those wily orgasm-fueled stud/studettes will just keep sneaking back
for more sex, then regretting it and breaking apart again. And that’s
just bloody annoying. Having them split up because she was betrayed
in an earlier relationship and now doesn’t believe in love is waaay
too feeble. Or if someone tells him a lie about his new love and he
believes it and dumps her without finding out the truth, well then
that hero just isn’t worthy of romantic love in the first place.
Romance
readers are also a bloodthirsty lot. They want their heroes and
heroines to suffer mightily before overcoming great obstacles to
actually earn their happily ever after. Honest. Go to any
romance writer conference and you’ll find a multitude of workshops
on upping the conflict in your novels. Also talks by police officers,
coroners, and other emergency personnel on how to make horrendous
scenarios even worse and more realistic.
I
believe the problem is that we write our heroes to be such fabulous
catches that we figure only someone equally as brave and resourceful
should get to have them. No hopeless wallflower for our Superman.
Nosirreebob! (Well unless she delves deep to find her inner Wonder
Woman.) And then if you write an amazing heroine, the hero has to
up his game too. (Note, for these characters to resonate, they
should be realistic people like the reader and then, after being
tested by adversity, become the best that they can be, hence worthy
of the Greatest Love Ever. As, of course, all us readers would be if
only we had such ferocious dragons/demons/serial killers to slay.)
But
it’s important that we don’t lose the main point of having such
virile, virtuous and vivacious characters in our romance books. It’s
because we want to imagine having endless and mind-blowing sex with
these fabulous people ourselves. Romance rarely touches upon S.T.D.s
and erectile dysfunction because unfortunately they are way too
prevalent in real life. In our fantasies we’re still looking for
Erica Jong’s infamous zipless f—k. (And wow! That’s dating
myself…) As readers, we want to be caught up in the raging
desire, not the messy reality. As writers, we need to make that over
the top passion seem plausible. And just so you know, in real life,
nerdy pizza delivery guys don’t really get that much unexpected
action on the job. Just sayin’…
Please
feel free to leave a comment regarding either what you look for in
your smut books or if you have any other great euphemisms for sexy
man bits, and one commenter (who leaves their e-mail address)
will be drawn to win a copy of my new short story, My Hero. This
story is about a fabulous Writer of
Elegant Smut who pursues
the male model from her book cover. (Hint, things do not go well
for our heroine.)
Excerpt
from The French Resolution
She
appeared nervous at the proposition, so he popped a cracker with
Camembert into her mouth.
“D’accord.
We will discuss it now. I think you should stay here with me for the
next few days. I realize that if your father should come back, I will
have to return you, but I do not think the butler is a good enough
excuse. Tomorrow is Monday. I will have to do some business but not
for long. I will be in meetings on Wednesday, so you may use that day
to see old friends. I am willing to negotiate days off for good
behavior, but not nights. Is this acceptable?” Antoine stared into
her blue-gray eyes, willing her to agree. She paused long enough to
worry him.
“Does
this agreement include food? Because for a short person, I eat a
lot.”
***
To
read the first chapters and perhaps buy Nora Snowdon’s published
books on Amazon.com, please go to http://amzn.to/1lWYWIo
To
read more about Nora Snowdon and check out her blog, try
www.norasnowdon.com
And
you can follow her on twitter @norasnowdon and facebook Nora Snowdon
Nora
Snowdon’s Official Bio (accept
no others)
Living in New York
and Toronto, Nora Snowdon was a jerk of all trades—one week hawking
toys at major toy conventions, the next in a high end jewelry store
pandering to the rich. She worked in the financial market, gambling
dens, environmental protection, food service industry and sold shoes.
During these years she also either appeared in or directed over
twenty five plays.
Then
Nora moved to the wet coast, took up health foods (dark
chocolate and red wine)
and became a Writer
of Elegant Smut.
She currently has five books available, published by Crimson Romance
and Rebel Ink Press. Her ambition is to become a crazy cat lady and
wine hoarder, not necessarily in that order.
