By Ashe Barker (Guest Blogger)
Wow, what
an honour! It’s so fantastic to be here, guesting on the lovely
Lisabet Sarai’s blog to tell you a bit about The Dark Side. And I’m
in such good company – I read Rajasthani Moon as soon as it was
released and absolutely loved it. I’ve just finished reading the
Tied to the Billionaire anthology too, and found Andrew MacIntyre to
be just my sort of BDSM alpha male hero – focused, single-minded,
demanding, explicit to the point of crude, but with a sloppy soft
centre when confronted by the right sort of submissive. But more on
all that later…
I’ve
been asked, many times, about why I decided to write The Dark Side,
and why start my author career with a story centring on BDSM?
‘Is it
autobiographical?’ my mother in law asked when she first learned of
it, looking distinctly nervous. My answer, ‘In parts…” and I
left it to her to work out which bits. As far as I know she hasn’t
made further inquiries of my husband. Probably best left at that.
In truth,
the idea really came together last summer when, along with most of
the rest of the English-speaking world, I read the immortal E. L
James through a haze of Ambre Solaire. And I was hooked. I wanted to
weave a similar story, but mine would be more realistic, at least in
my terms, and most definitely set in the UK. And I wanted a heroine
who might be naive, inexperienced – well, we all have to start
somewhere, but who would have a wealth of hidden talent waiting to be
revealed. And I defy anyone to be able to lay claim to much more
talent that Eva Byrne.
And
Nathan, her alpha male? He’s the embodiment of all that I like most
in dominant men – long dark hair, dark eyes, single minded,
successful but without being filthy rich, and with a depth of ‘real
life’. Nathan is a Dom, but he’s also a father, an employer, a
friend. He enjoys sports, loves cars. He’s generous, caring, but in
his dealings with his submissives he is absolutely unrelenting. Then
along comes Eva, and his attraction to her is much more than
physical. As each layer is peeled back, as she is drawn further and
further into his dark world of erotic fantasy, he becomes more and
more intrigued by her.
The Dark
Side was originally conceived in Nando’s over a piri piri chicken.
Soon after returning from the Ambre Solaire holiday I met a friend
for lunch. She’d also read the Fifty Shades books, and was as
hooked as I was. We wondered how E. L. James knew all that stuff, was
it based on experience? All the same questions I get asked now, I
suppose.
“No,
no,” my friend said. “Not necessarily. You can find anything on
the internet. Just do the research.” And in that moment I knew she
was right. It could be done. I could draw on my own experience, and
add in anything else at all from the wonderful, all-knowing worldwide
web.
I didn’t
tell anyone that I was writing a novel, not for ages. No one at all.
I work from home, and although I have a separate office I tend to
just set up my laptop on the kitchen table. I had to keep slamming it
shut every time my daughter came in. I was constantly getting those
grumpy messages from Windows about not being correctly closed down. I
didn’t care. My internet history was a scandal during those months,
and come to think of it, still is. I think the most graphic thing I
looked at back then was a video of a Brazilian waxing session, but I
was also all over the places where BDSM devotees do their online
shopping. And when I came across anything unfamiliar there were lots
of helpful little instructions, safety warnings, and so on. What
could go wrong?
And
whilst I was developing the story, becoming more and more engrossed
in the evolving dynamic between Eva and Nathan, I was wondering what
the hell to do with the novel when it was finished. What I knew about
publishing would have fit nicely on the back of a stamp. I hadn’t a
clue if anyone but me would ever meet these two people. So as well as
watching online videos of spanking and anal play I was also
researching likely routes to getting this published. By chance I read
an article by fellow Total-E-Bound author Tanith Davenport in a
magazine. She mentioned her publisher, Total-E-Bound, so their
website was my next stop. They looked to be perfect, exactly the sort
of publisher who might like my stuff, so from then on I wrote with
Total-E-Bound in mind.
I started
the book in September 2012, and set myself the deadline of completing
the story by Christmas. By the beginning of December it was still a
long way from complete, and I realised I needed to get serious. So I
blew my cover, told my husband and daughter what I was working on,
and that they’d have to get their own tea for a while.
They took
the news quite calmly.
“What’s
it about mum?”
“Well,
you remember that Fifty Shades thing from last year…?”
“Oh, a
mucky book then. Can I read it? And do you know where my hair
straighteners are?”
I pulled
out all the stops and finished the manuscript at about half past nine
on the evening of Christmas Eve. I spent the rest of the holiday
re-reading the first draft, tarting it up where I could, then first
job in the New Year I sent the first three chapters and the last one
to Total-E-Bound. About ten days later I got an email requesting the
rest of the manuscript. That night I celebrated. There followed a
couple of weeks of editorial to-ing and fro-ing during which time the
book was split into the three parts of the trilogy, then I was
offered a contract.
I was an
author! Fancy that.
I do a
couple of other things as well, nothing to do with writing fiction,
but I probably spend about seventy five percent of my time now on
writing and related activity. That seems about right to me and it’s
how it will be for the foreseeable future. As long as I’ve got
erotic fantasies to share, and people want to read the conjurings of
my imagination, this is what I love doing.
But
enough of my ramblings. Here’s an excerpt from Darkening, the first
book in the trilogy. It charts Eva’s first experience of Nathan’s
approach to BDSM.
Blurb
Who knows where pain ends and pleasure begins?
The
chance of a new life out in the wilds of the Bronte moors sounds too
good to be true to shy musician Eva Byrne. Stifled and smothered
within the cocoon of her brilliant academic career, Eva yearns for
something different. Something real and exciting. Something she can
feel.
Excitement.
Passion. Pleasure She finds that sexy, enigmatic Nathan Darke can
provide all these and more when she moves into his home as violin
tutor to his young daughter. But Eva’s sensual encounters with her
demanding, domineering new employer quickly evoke her deepest fears,
as he introduces her to the trauma of submission, and marks her with
his particularly dark brand of love.
But will
Eva’s natural curiosity and thirst for new experiences be enough to
withstand the sting of Nathan Darke’s exquisite touch? Will simple
surrender be enough as he challenges her every inhibition, taking her
on an erotic journey of self-discovery and liberation?
Darkening
is the first book in The Dark Side trilogy, charting the sensual
journey of academic musician Eva Byrne as she struggles to overcome
painful shyness, sexual inhibition and personal tragedy. Lonely,
unsophisticated, desperately seeking love and approval, Eva is easy
prey for sensual and experienced Nathan Darke.
He wants
her submission, and he knows how to go about getting it. Eva is
quickly caught up by the whirlwind of his effortless seduction,
though she has her own reasons for agreeing to join him in his world
of pain and pleasure, on The Dark Side.
Inexplicably
fascinated and at the same time totally frustrated by his new
submissive, Nathan is increasingly drawn to her as she opens up in
his hands and he realises there is much, much more to his latest
playmate than he ever could have imagined.
The Dark Side charts the turbulent relationship between Eva and
Nathan as their mutual fascination builds. They both discover what
surrender truly means as together they explore the fragile bonds of
desire, trust, risk and reward, and the destructive power of
betrayal.
Excerpt
“Okay.” He taps the screen a few more times to complete the
purchases. Then, slipping his hand out of my bra, he pulls me to my
feet and quickly turns me to face the table. His hand in the small of
my back, he pushes me face down across the hardwood surface, sliding
the iPad and my coffee cup to one side.
I start in surprise as he lifts the hem of my dress—surely he just
said…
Then I moan out loud as he again slips his hand into my clothing,
this time down the back of my lovely red lacy briefs, down the hollow
between my buttocks, slowing slightly to circle my anus with one
gentle fingertip. I stiffen, waiting…
“So sweet and tight. We’ll come back to this,” he murmurs
softly, leaning close to kiss my neck before continuing on between
the wet, swollen lips of my vagina. He slips one finger inside my
moist entrance, working gently in and out, circling the outer lips,
spreading my juices all around. I moan faintly, lifting my bum up in
welcome. He slides a second finger inside, whilst with his other hand
he attacks from the front to take my swollen clitoris between his
thumb and finger, gently rubbing.
The combined pleasure is so intense, so centred, so sudden, it
overwhelms me and I come immediately. I scream, unable to contain any
of the fabulous sensation of internal fragmentation now shooting out
through my outstretched fingers—white-knuckled, still gripping the
edge of the table—and my toes, still encased in my lovely, red
fuck-me shoes. I whimper, almost in frustration that my climax has
hit me before I even saw it coming.
“I’m not finished with you yet. Stay there.”
More? How wonderful.
His voice is low, seductive and commanding. I stay still. Waiting. He
straightens, steps away from me, goes
over to his desk. He returns a
moment later, gently pulling my underwear down to my ankles. “Step
out.” His command is clear. I obey.
“You have a beautiful bottom, Miss Byrne,” he observes, trailing
his fingertips lightly down the furrow between my buttocks, then
tracing the line of each lower curve before bringing something down
on me—hard, sharp, fierce. I scream out loud, with shock more than
pain, though the sting is real enough. Instinctively I start to stand
up, but his hand goes to the small of my back, pressing me back down.
“We agreed on five strokes for every frown. I counted at least four
frowns since we came into this room, and that’s me being generous,
Miss Byrne. So that’s twenty strokes. Agreed?”
I don’t answer, still reeling from the sudden assault. He strikes
me again, and I scream again, louder. “Agreed, Miss Byrne?”
“Yes, yes. Please don’t…”
“Eighteen to go, then. Grit your teeth, Miss Byrne.”
I do, flinching with every blow, my fingers curled desperately around
the opposite edge of the table. Counting slowly. He takes his time,
waiting between each blow for me to settle again, to be ready. After
ten strokes he stops, places a ruler beside my face on the table, and
steps away again. I know not to move. He comes back after a few
moments and I feel something cool, soothing, being smoothed into my
red-hot and extremely sore buttocks. He gently massages me, kneading
my tender skin where his ruler has done its work.
“You’re new to this, Miss Byrne, so I’m really being very
gentle with you. Next time it will be harder.” He taps my buttock
lightly with his palm. “Relax—we’ll soon be done.” He stands,
picks up the ruler again. “Are you ready to continue, Miss Byrne?”
I know he will demand an answer so I whisper my consent, and he
starts again. The next ten blows are excruciating. He alternates
between bringing his ruler down hard on first one side of my bottom,
then the other, always hitting the same spot on each cheek and now
not even waiting for me to collect myself between blows. Each new
blow builds on the sting left by the one before it. I lie there in my
world of pain, biting my lip to keep from sobbing, waiting for him to
finish.
After the twentieth stroke he straightens, stands still behind me. I
can imagine his eyes on my abused bottom, and just hope he’s
satisfied. I know better than to say as much, though, and I wait,
desperate for him to give me permission to get up. I lie there,
frozen with dread at what might be coming next.
“Open your legs, Eva.”
I comply, too scared to resist. Tense, shaking, I can feel the tears
streaming from my eyes. Am I about to lose my virginity here,
humiliated and hurting, facedown on a table, trying not to sob out
loud? Please, no, not like this…
“Wider, Eva.”
I force myself to spread my legs as far as I can. There’s no point
arguing. His fingers are on me, gently opening the lips of my vagina.
I gulp, tensing, waiting for the pain I know is coming. I feel
something slip easily inside me. It’s not… What is it?
“Aaah!” My gasp is one of shock, not pain, as I feel vibrations
start to pulse through me, from my inner core radiating outwards. He
is standing now, not touching me, his hands flat on the table on
either side of my head. He leans down to kiss the back of my neck, to
whisper in my ear, “Enjoy, Eva. You’ve earned it.”
Gently, firmly, he runs his hands all over my back, massaging,
comforting. Reaching lower, he smoothes some more cooling cream into
my buttocks. I sigh, writhing with pleasure and need as the internal
pulsing gathers strength, massaging my internal walls too. “Oh,
yes, please, please…” I am almost mindless with desire as he
reaches around me to lightly feather his fingertips across my
clitoris. Little by little, any remaining pain dissipates and the
sensuous delight builds, growing, reaching farther and wider into my
inner self. I am desperate with need, murmuring incoherently, begging
him to help me.
“Tell me what you want, Eva. What is it you need?”
“I want… I want you to… Oh, yes, that’s so good.” The
pulsing of the vibrator inside my vagina is so strong now, urgent,
unrelenting, irresistible. I know my orgasm isn’t far away. My hips
are jerking, trying to increase the pressure on my clitoris, but he
keeps his touch featherlight, teasing me, tantalising me.
“Please…” I’m desperate, so very desperate…
“Is this what you want?” He increases the pressure, only
slightly, but enough to have my clitoris leaping to attention,
swollen, seeking.
He circles my greedy clit with his finger, once, twice. Then,
merciful at last, he takes it between his fingers and thumb and rolls
it firmly. The result is instantaneous. My orgasm goes off like a
volcano, my hips thrusting and gyrating for long moments as I ride
the waves of intense pleasure flowing freely through me. I might even
have lost consciousness towards the end, because the next thing I am
aware of is the sensation of the vibrator, silent and still now, as
Nathan slides it out of my vagina. Too spent to move, I am still
lying draped over the table, boneless and very, very satisfied.
And as my brainpower returns to something like normal—whatever that
is these days—I feel overwhelming relief to have come through my
first ‘test’ relatively unscathed.
“Can you stand, Eva?” he asks me, wryly adding, “You certainly
won’t be able to sit for a while.”
Using my hands to lever myself up off the table, I slowly get to my
feet. My skirt drops back down over my bottom, and at least outwardly
I am decent again. Good God, what just happened?
His hands on my shoulders, Nathan turns me to face him. Then, taking
my face between his hands, he lifts it carefully, looks into my eyes.
“You’ve been crying, sweetheart,” he says, gently wiping my
remaining tears with his thumbs before dropping his lips to mine.
Despite all that has just happened, all he has done to me, the pain
is forgotten as I melt under his kiss. My arms come up of their own
volition and I clasp my hands behind his neck, holding onto him for
dear life, because otherwise, I am definitely going to hit the carpet
at his feet. I open my mouth under his. His tongue darts inside,
stroking me, dancing with mine, tasting me. He sucks my bottom lip
into his mouth, playing with me, and I respond as always. Despite
everything.
Breaking the kiss, he nuzzles my neck. “Are we okay, sweetheart?”
he asks me. “Am I forgiven? Did I make up for it?”
My answer is to turn my head and capture his mouth, initiating my
first kiss with him rather than just responding to his. He tightens
his arms around me, and this time I let my tongue go exploring. I am
deliriously happy.
After long, dragging moments he lifts his head, nudges his nose
playfully against mine. His eyes are warm, deep and sensual, drawing
me in.
“Welcome to the Dark Side, Miss Byrne.”
About
Ashe
In 2010 I escaped the public sector in the UK, and started to write.
Now I count myself among the lucky few who do what they love doing
and manage to make a living out of it.
The Dark Side trilogy was the first completed piece, to be released
from July 2013 by those lovely people at Total-e-Bound. This was
followed by another tie-in trilogy, Sure Mastery, also in the
Total-e-Bound pipeline.
I like to write about people, relationships, and the general cock-up
and mayhem that is most of our lives. I often write about places I’ve
known, and have a particular fondness for setting stories in the
north of England where I live. But my tales of love, challenge,
resilience and compassion are the conjurings of my own imagination.
With a hefty dose of kink to keep it interesting. We all need to have
a hobby. And the hotter the better.
I love to craft strong, sexy, enigmatic and dominant men who know
their way around a woman’s body. And bright, sassy, self-reliant
women to give them a hard time – in every sense of the word. I’ve
loved reading erotic fiction for many years – historical,
contemporary, fantasy, romance. Now I’m lucky enough to realize my
dreams of writing my own stories. I hope others enjoy them as much as
I do.
When I’m not writing my time is divided between my role as resident
taxi-driver for my teenage daughter, best friend and wife to my
lovely, long-suffering and sometimes bemused husband, and caring for
a menagerie of dogs, cat, rabbits, tortoises, cockatiel. And Colin
the hamster.
Buy Links:
Book 1, Darkening is available from
Book
3, Darkest is available from 18 October, also from Total-E-Bound
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