Think
of Chuck Norris, Jet Li or Van Damn. You might think that they are
the epitome of a black belt. Strong. Agile. Killing machines.
The
truth is anyone can be a black belt. No one looking at me would
suspect that I have trained eighteen years in a number of martial
arts or that I love tonfa (nightstick).
When
someone walks into a dojo, it's rarely with the express purpose of
becoming a deadly fighting master. Maybe it's to get in better
physical shape. Some people do it because their friends train and it
seems like a good use of a couple of evenings a night. Others have
had a bad experience and want to have options should it happen again.
Whatever
the reasons people start training, very few will actually stay to
earn their black belt. After years of training, countless hours spent
sweating and untold bruises, getting that black belt can feel like
the end of a long journey. In truth it's just the beginning.
Sometimes
you need to learn enough to know what you don't know before you can
really start your training.
I
started training because I loved the regimented order of class. The
fact that I was a Jackie Chang fan may have also played some part in
it. I was overweight, painfully shy and not very athletic or
graceful.
So
how did I earn a black belt?
I
made it to nearly every class I could. I kept training when I broke
my thumb sparring. I didn't let my mistakes and failures discourage
me for too long. I didn't quit when I moved and had to find a new
school. I started over as a white belt when required to. I watched. I
trained. I stuck with it when others didn't.
Jet
Li I am not, but I know how to throw a punch and I know how to get
out of the way of one. I may never have to use my training in a fight
outside of the dojo, but the most important lesson I've learned stays
with me. Show up and you can be a black belt or whatever else you
want to be.
Blurb
A
closeted black belt finds more than a sparring partner when he takes
an openly gay student under his wing.
As
a black belt, Tyler helps his students face their fears, but he has
yet to come to terms with his own bisexuality. When he finds a new
sparring partner in Jaime, an openly gay man struggling to find his
place in the dojo, Tyler is surprised at how right it feels to be
intertwined with him.
Determined
to put his partying days behind him, Jaime returns to martial arts
training and swears off one-night stands. He is finally ready to look
for something more when Tyler approaches him with a request -- help
Tyler explore his new found sexuality. Their physical relationship
intensifies in secret. It isn’t long before their time together
becomes about something more than just sex.
Despite
their growing closeness, Tyler refuses to acknowledge their
relationship in public. Now Jaime must choose between returning to
his former lifestyle and falling in love with someone afraid to
embrace him in front of their friends. Tyler doesn’t want to lose
Jaime as a student, much less as a lover, but can he overcome his
fears and accept his new identity?
Excerpt
With
a choke and a sputter, Jaime set down his beer and struggled to keep
a straight face.
“Come
again?” Jaime asked. Maybe he’d misunderstood what Sempai Tyler
was getting at. Sempai Tyler’s unwavering gaze was all the
confirmation he needed to know he hadn’t misheard. “You don’t
mean that. It’s the breakup talking. Just give it some time, and
you’ll be back to your skirt-chasing self in no time.”
“I
don’t chase skirts.”
“I
know.” Jaime stared at his beer with a wan smile. He had to be in a
pretty bad place to be saying something so drastic. Even though Jaime
had only known him for a couple of months, he had never heard or seen
anything to indicate the man was anything other than a red-blooded
heterosexual.
“You’re
a good guy. The kind that’s few and far between. Any woman would be
lucky to find herself in your arms.”
“What
about you?”
“I
told you, women aren’t my thing,” Jaime stopped short and looked
at him. Sempai Tyler couldn’t mean what he just said. Jaime felt
his mind freeze on the possibility of a thousand what ifs and if
onlies. “You mean, literally me? In your arms?”
Sempai
Tyler nodded.
Jaime
opened his mouth then closed it again. He made another aborted
attempt at a response while he continued to stare. Leave it to him to
find the one bi-curious guy to have a crush on. The unobtainable was
suddenly within his reach. That was if Sempai Tyler really meant what
he was saying and wasn’t just having a momentary crisis. Although
Jaime had never heard of someone turning gay from stress. A faint
blush touched his cheeks, but he didn’t look away. Sempai Tyler was
being honest with him.
“I
need to know.” Sempai Tyler started and struggled to find his
words. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “I feel
like I’m losing my mind.”
Jaime
longed to reach out and put his hand on Sempai Tyler’s arm if only
to ground him. The poor guy must be feeling pretty confused and
lonely. Jaime felt compelled to reveal himself even though it went
against his normal arm’s reach distance he preferred to keep with
most people.
“Would
I be interested in you, if you were gay?” Jaime wanted to give him
room to back out of his comment. Jaime had been wrong before about an
attraction being mutual when it wasn’t.
“I’m
not gay.”
Jaime
pulled back. Sempai Tyler might as well have hit him with a back fist
for all the force behind his denial. It wasn’t the first time he’d
heard that line, even from a guy about to go down on him. The thought
of Sempai Tyler on his knees pleasing Jaime lit his senses up like a
pinball machine.
“But
you are,” Sempai Tyler said quickly without any accusation or
slander.
“And
I trust you to help me figure this out.”
Finally,
Jaime was starting to understand what Sempai Tyler was looking for.
His unobtainable man was still unobtainable. He was asking him for
help not proposing a committed relationship. Jaime thought about
Tomas and how excited he had been for the promised second date. And
he still was. This thing was different. It was more like a favor for
a friend. And he’s only gone on one date with Tomas. Jaime
struggled to see the situation from all angles before he made a
decision they both would regret.
“Won’t
that make being in class awkward?” Jaime asked.
“Randy
and Sarah hooked up while they were both students,” Sempai Tyler
pointed out. He scraped at the label on his beer bottle until it was
coming off in shreds. “It wouldn’t be the first time two people
in class had more intimate associations outside of class. Besides,
you said you never sleep with a guy twice. Call it an experiment.
We’d never have to speak of it again.”
Jaime
had been in enough onetime experiments to know how to walk away. He
wasn’t sure if Sempai Tyler could do the same. If it went wrong, it
could ruin their friendship. That, if nothing else, gave Jaime pause
even if his body was ten steps ahead of him.
“If
you don’t feel comfortable, it’s okay.” He started to back
pedal. “We can just pretend this conversation never happened.”
“You
are determined to do this aren’t you?”
“I
am.”
Buy
Links
Amazon
link: https://www.amazon.com/Spar-Nikko-Lee/dp/1986675335
About
the Author
The author is a scientific curator who enjoys writing genre fiction from erotica to horror under the pen name Nikko Lee. Born in Canada, she moved to Maine after completing a PhD in Zoology and her post-doctoral training. She resides near Bar Harbor with her husband, two children, cat and malamute.
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Website:
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Goodreads
link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3132914.Nikko_Lee
