Sexy at Sixty - #WomensFiction #Giveaway #StartingOver

By Michelle Davis (Guest Blogger)


[October 2018]

October is birthday month in my family. My oldest son celebrated his special day on the 18th, and my husband and younger son shared a birthday on the 28th. I’m the outlier… my birthday isn’t until February, and I will be turning 55 this upcoming year. Just typing those two numerals startles me a bit. To be honest, I’ve always been challenged by the “5’s” in the “birthday world.” Turning thirty, forty, or even fifty didn’t bother me. But I did have trouble with twenty-five, thirty- five, and forty-five. I think that I would always anticipate the next decade at the mid-way point, so in a way, I’d be thinking I was actually older than I was!

However, when I dealt with cancer seven years ago, I made a promise to myself that I’d never complain about getting older… because I certainly didn’t like the alternative! So, I will do my best not to allow fifty-five to ruffle my feathers. I will try to embrace this next milestone instead of becoming a grouchy, sullen or cranky middle-aged woman who commiserates about getting older.

Last week, while having dinner with another couple, an innocent comment sparked a fabulous “aha” moment. During our conversation, our friend mentioned that he found an older woman extremely sexy. I guess that’s not an abnormal comment, but I usually don’t associate aging females with the term, “sexy.” That’s when it hit me… wouldn’t sexy at sixty be pretty amazing?

Before you start to judge or make assumptions, I’m not talking about how most people describe “sexy.” This is not about being a voluptuous temptress or a seductive siren. No, what I’m talking about is quite different. My definition involves something few women possess in their younger years. What I desire to be in five years is totally different. The image that intrigues me does not rest on pure physical appearance, body type, or bedroom eyes. My sexy at sixty exudes three elements… self-confidence, wisdom, and grace.

Self-confidence is a rare gift almost never seen in young women. I’ve only known several females in their twenties or thirties who were blessed with the innate knowledge of their true self-value. These individuals didn’t compare or judge others because they were completely comfortable with themselves. But as we all know, most women don’t fall under that category. It takes us time to know who we are so that we can learn to like, accept, and perhaps even love ourselves. That’s when the self-confidence kicks in.

Wisdom also defines my version of sexy. A wise woman doesn’t blurt out the right response to prove that she’s smart. No. Instead, women with wisdom know. While they might or might not have the correct answer, they understand, something much greater. Wisdom isn’t knowledge of a content area or a specific philosophy. Rather, it is a generalized comprehension of how the world functions and how we, as individual beings, interact. That’s why I want to be wise!

And, grace… I think it may be my new favorite word. When I was younger, I wanted to be faster, the first to accomplish something, or the best at what I did. Now, I wish for gracefulness in all things. I hope to flow in my yoga practice. I want to efficiently glide when I run. And, I wish to demonstrate kindness, patience, and compassion during my interactions with others. While grace certainly won’t win me any medals or offer accolades for outstanding accomplishments, it will give me the satisfaction that whatever I do is done with elegance and poise.

Self-confidence, wisdom, and grace… these are my three components for “Sexy at Sixty.” While this may be quite a lofty goal, the good news is that I have some time to work on these characteristics. Sure, I wouldn’t mind having some of those traditional “sexy” traits either, but we all know that those fade with age. What makes up my version doesn’t… they only becomes better with time.

Blurb

Jenna Moore's flawlessly orchestrated life and engagement to Ben Kelly, “the perfect man,” vanish when she discovers a controlling side of her fiancé. Confused and unsure of who she is without Ben, Jenna decides to uproot from her safe, predictable life in Boston and move to Bend, Oregon, hoping to find her answers there. It’s when she meets Jackson, a former Navy SEAL who battles demons of his own, that Jenna finds the courage to let go of being perfect and embrace uncomfortable risks, transforming her life through forgiveness, compassion, surrender and acceptance. Yet the rewards from discovering her true self exceed Jenna’s expectations – not only does she find the greatest love of her life, but she also understands what’s kept her from learning to bend.

Excerpt

I’m drawn to a solitary man with shoulder length thick brown hair sitting alone at a café table. I try not to stare, but I can’t help myself. When I get closer, I see a faint scar on his cheek. It intrigues me. He intrigues me. Yet it’s his captivating green eyes that truly catch my attention. I look in the opposite direction and make it appear as if I’m about to walk away. But I can’t, he pulls me toward him. I pause, actually freeze in my tracks before I find my body shifting in his direction. He’s drinking coffee and gazing at me. Who is he and why am I feeling this way? Doing my best to regain some composure, I try to avert my eyes, but they won’t stop staring at him. What is it? He’s not traditionally handsome – he’s more of a sensual “bad boy” type – nothing like Ben. Suddenly, I feel my throat tighten and butterflies appear inside my stomach. I become conscious about my hair. I’ve had a helmet on all day. It must look awful.

Stop it. He’s just some stranger.

Although he’s sitting, I quickly assess his height and notice his chiseled muscular build. I’m guessing that he’s older than me, by at least five or more years. Something deep inside of me begins to stir as I pass by his table. That’s when I hear, “Place the weight on your inside toe when you turn. You’re using your knees too much.”

About the Author

Michelle Davis, whose career path includes banking, teaching, and college admissions consulting, holds a B.S. in Finance from Lehigh University and a M.S. in Education from St. Joseph’s University. Through her blog, elevate, Michelle’s goal is to inspire others to shift their perspectives and welcome change as they realize their life purpose. A Pennsylvania native, Michelle and her husband enjoy visiting their sons in Boston and spending time in Bend, Oregon, the settings of her debut novel, Learning to Bend. To learn more about Michelle and how to elevate your life, visit www.michellemdavis.net.

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Grace

I'm not a traditionally religious person. I don't belong to any church or assign myself any labels. However I do strongly believe that existence has a spiritual dimension. I'm happy to absorb the insights of any religion or teacher when they strike me as "true".

For many years I have subscribed to a monthly magazine called Daily Word. It is published by an organization called Unity, a non-denominational Christian group that emphasizes the core of Spirit within each of us. Daily Word is a pocket-sized booklet that offers a word, a meditation and a Scripture quote for each day of the month. I try very hard to set aside ten or fifteen minutes every morning to read and ponder the day's word and message.

Today's word (I'm writing this on Friday the 27th) is "grace". This is one of my favorite messages. Grace is the goodness that we all experience, without having to earn it. It's a continuous flow of blessings that rain down on us, which we can discern clearly if we really open our eyes. In particular, it's comfort in the time of trouble, healing and peace in the midst of turmoil.

You've probably heard the term "grace under fire". This is a different side of what I think is the same concept. "Grace under fire" means acting with strength, power and integrity when the situation makes it really difficult. I have a friend who just finished her radiation treatments after a radical mastectomy. She's smiling and sent me pictures of her family's mountain vacation. That's grace under fire. I recently read a post by a fellow author about her struggle to write even when she's in the grip of clinical depression. That's grace under fire, too.

That kind of inner certainty is something I aspire to.

Of course, "grace" also has a physical meaning, in the sense of elegant, flowing, economical movement. As a dancer, I aspire to that sort of grace as well. Sometimes I achieve it, and when I do, I know that it's because I've tapped into my inner reservoir of beauty.

Years ago, I was soul-searching (a lifetime occupation) and decided that I needed to articulate a vision for my life. What was I trying to achieve? How did I see my few decades on earth. My answer was the following poem, which touches on this same concept of grace.

Vision

My life will be a dance.

I will try to tread lightly,

buoyant

joyful

touching but not trampling.

I will trust my partners

and be trustworthy in return,

Follow through, complete the steps.

I will dance abundance

accepted and shared;

Faith, power,

peace and wonder,

And always,love.

Remember the dance

flows from inside out,

spirit to body

and out to the world,

And that all, spirit, body and world

are sacred.

Even when solo, know

that I dance a part

in a larger pattern.

Leave behind

some increase of joy,

some greater beauty.

I guess I found some kernel of truth then, because when I read this now, this is still my vision: to walk lightly - gracefully (i.e. full of grace) - through the world, focusing on the positive, celebrating love and beauty wherever I find them.