“There is no fear in love; but
perfect love casts out fear.”
1 John 4:18
This
isn't a blog post about religion, even though I've started it with a
quote from the New Testament. No, my topic today is homophobia, as
part of a 'net-wide blog hop by authors of gay-oriented fiction to
raise awareness about the issue.
These
days, any discussion of homosexuality seems to generate a lot of
anger and hostility. The typical rhetoric tends to be militant,
whether supporting or opposing the rights of people to pursue sexual
relationships with individuals of their own gender. When a state
votes to legalize gay marriage, GLBT activists celebrate a “battle
won”. When a court rules that a gay couple can't adopt children,
jubilant anti-gay organizations vow to “continue the fight”
against the abomination of homosexuality. Either way, there's a
strong tendency to consider people on the other side of this
contentious issue as “the enemy”.
Now, I
believe that adults should be free to choose their sexual and life
partners without any constraints related to gender. I think that two
men or two women who are attracted to one another should enjoy the
same rights , privileges and protections as a male/female couple,
that this equality should be legally guaranteed, and that the
relevant laws should be enforced. To me, this position seems rational
and fair.
However,
I understand that many people on the opposite side of this debate
hold positions based not on reason but on emotion – specifically,
fear. After all, that's what “homophobia” means, literally –
fear of homosexuals. You can't argue away fear. And treating someone
who harbors that kind of fear as the enemy won't help change that
person's beliefs or feelings – if anything, it's likely to make
those feelings more extreme.
What
are homophobes afraid of? In some cases, their own sexual curiosity
or repressed desires. In many cases the fear is based on
misinformation or ignorance. Some homophobes believe that most gays
are pedophiles, and thus fear for their children's safety. Some
subscribe to the popular but ridiculous theory that homosexuals are
more sexually voracious or extreme than heterosexuals, and thus
somehow obscene, dirty or dangerous. Some are simply afraid of the
unknown. Men who love men (or women who love women) are strange and
thus threatening.
Of
course many homophobes cite religious arguments for their opposition
to homosexuality. Personally, I think this is just a convenient
justification, masking the underlying fear. And some people truly
hate gays and lesbians, considering them subhuman and worthy of
extirpation. Even that kind of hate may be rooted in fear. In any
case, that's why legal protections for GLBT people are so important.
I'm
not sure what sort of intervention is needed to deal with extreme
homophobes, the sort of people who perpetrate hate crimes. However,
for less extreme cases, I believe that the solution is love.
Love?
Oh come on, Pollyanna! What sort of pastel fantasy world are you
living in?
I
don't mean love in the romantic or erotic sense, but more in the
sense of the Golden Rule. To reduce the amount of homophobia in a
society, anti-gay individuals need opportunities to really get to
know gay people. Only specific, positive experiences with real
homosexuals will be effective in counteracting the stereotypes and
myths about homosexuality in general. The more homosexual neighbors
you have, the more you enjoy their company, the more you see that
they're just people, not some alien, sex-crazed demons, the less
strange and “icky” the whole idea of same-sex relations will
become.
I'd
like to believe that in some small way, my M/M fiction and that of my
colleagues can play a small role in helping to diminish the fears of
homophobes. Of course, M/M romance has become wildly popular, even in
the conservative heartlands. The fact is, there's not much emotional
difference between a gay romance and a heterosexual romance. Both
deal with the growth of a loving relationship in the face of
challenges. The specific problems encountered by M/M couples might be
somewhat different, but the emotions are predominantly the same.
Although
our characters aren't “real” gay people, they're far more
realistic than the stereotypes that feed homophobia. To the extent
that people can accept gay lovers in our fiction, they're more likely
to be comfortable with homosexuality in real life.
But
what do you think? Am I overly optimistic? Leave me a comment and I
will enter you in a drawing for a copy of the M/M erotic romance
anthology Gaymes,
which includes my story Crossed Hearts.
Be sure to include your email address in your comment if you want to
part of the giveaway. I'll draw a winner on Monday the 21st
of May.
And
please visit the blogs of some of the other authors participating in
the Hop Against Homophobia. You'll find a full list at:
http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com
