Showing posts with label Big Ed Magusson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Ed Magusson. Show all posts

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Sneak Peek: Hungry by Big Ed Magusson - #BDSM #food #eroticromance

Hungry cover

Blurb

Master James, seasoned Dom and gourmet extraordinaire, craves a taste of something new. The BDSM scene bores him the way warmed over scrambled eggs disgust him. Once known for his creative food play scenes, he now wonders why he’s even attending BDSM events at all.

Submissive Sapphira, also food obsessed, seeks a strong guiding hand. Emotionally expressive and with a fondness for spankings, she’s heard the tales of Master James and hopes he still ‘has it.’

James happily shows her how food, spankings, and bondage can delightfully mix. But to win her heart, he must overcome his scars from the past and her secret compulsion, while walking the line between too much control and not enough.

Excerpt

It wasn’t that the Con organizers hadn’t done a good job. They’d transformed the hotel ballroom into a delightfully moody space suitable for the various beatings and piercings and rope work at stations scattered around. Trance music bubbled in the background—loud enough to drown out distant conversations but not so loud as to cut out the screams. The twilight level lighting didn’t hide any of the action, even in the corners where dungeon monitors flicked their flashlight beams from time to time. Each of the play areas had been set up meticulously, with antiseptic wipes and towels easily at reach. It smelled clean, unlike too many makeshift dungeons I’d been in.

But there just wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before. Flogging on the St. Andrew’s Crosses. Flogging over a bench. Medical torture in one corner, carefully supervised. Two burly men in black leather vests boosting a naked blindfolded brunette into a suspension harness.

Bored, bored, bored.

And it was only Friday, the first night of the convention.

I flexed my fingers in my black driver’s gloves—comfortable cloth, not the cliché leather—and then balled them into fists again. As much as I’d enjoyed the Con’s afternoon presentations, and especially the one on the spirituality of BDSM, I’d begun to seriously question why I hadn’t just gone to my room to read after dinner. The rush of being in The Scene was gone.

And wandering around watching other people play wasn’t getting it back.

I paused near one scene, just finishing. A young, long-haired blonde and an older portly man in a black t-shirt and jeans were helping a thirtyish nude short-haired redhead off a St. Andrew’s Cross. Scarlet welts covered her back and ass. The man whispered in her ear, while tenderly stroking her neck, far above the stung flesh. The blonde untied the other woman’s wrists, and then the redhead sagged into the man. He lowered her to the ground and cradled her in his lap.

She shuddered, and let out a long held sob that left her lax in relief. He continued to hold her, caressing her gently, talking to her, the whole while not touching her welts.

I smiled softly. That was the magic of The Scene. I’d treasured those moments with Molly…

Excuse me?”

I started. Lost in my memories, I hadn’t noticed the blonde approach. A short twig of a woman, she wore a translucent black chemise over a black cotton bra and panties. Her feathered hair briefly reminded me of Farrah Fawcett, but Farrah had curves. This woman looked thirty going on thirteen. Her voice fit the younger age as well—a high pitched soprano with an undertone of uncertainty.

Master James?”

I straightened my shoulders and tilted my head. “Yes?”

Umm…” she shifted her weight from one foot to the other and looked away briefly. “Umm… I just wanted to say I really liked your demonstration this morning.”

You should tell Headmaster Jeremy. I was just an assistant.”

She blushed. “Um, but the way you caressed that woman’s back, between spanks…”

I couldn’t help smiling. I didn’t get Jeremy’s wife Angelique over my knee very often, but I loved it when I did. She squirmed so delightfully and more than once, her arousal had soaked my slacks. Jeremy was a truly lucky man.

“…and the way you varied your blows. Those soft ones, on her upper thighs…” She took a deep breath, her eyes wide.

You enjoyed that?” I asked.

Oh, yeah. And I was wondering…” She shifted her weight again, and her eyes went puppy wide, blinking up at me.

I resisted an exasperated sigh. “You want to play.”

Please?”

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About the Author

Big Ed Magusson, also writing under the name Dick Spears, has been writing sexual fiction under one name or another for many years. This site gives the descriptions and links for all the books he has for sale, as well as collaborations with other writers. His musings and free stories can be found at BE's Place.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Addictive Desires

By Big Ed Magusson (Guest Blogger)

Hi, I’m Big Ed, and I’m a sex addict.

I also write porn.

Well, actually I haven’t considered myself an addict in over a decade. I did have a problem with compulsive sexual behavior in my late twenties, and I spent five years in twelve step groups working through it and getting beyond that behavior. I also learned to differentiate “acting out behavior due to psychological issues” from “high libido with limited outlet” issues.

The latter is where the “write porn” comes from. Writing erotica of all stripes provides a great libido outlet that harms no one. It might even provide some pleasure to my readers. ;-)

The compulsive behaviors were for me, and for many, environmental as much as anything. Theres a great study with rats that showed they were much more likely to become addicted to heroin if they were socially isolated from other rats (read more about it here). I was living in cities where I had few friends, doing the workaholic routine, and desperately wanting human touch, and in particular female touch.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, there’s a way to get that. It’s called a lap dance. Back then they could be had for twenty dollars a song, with the amount of touch allowed varying from state to state and club to club. I wasn’t spending my money on anything else so why not?

The problem was, it’s a slippery slope. When does the desire turn into a crutch? How long before an occasional fun trip becomes every Saturday, regardless of budget, regardless of other plans? And how does that seep into your soul?

I tried to capture this in my story, The Fix:

* * *

I usually start jonesing on Thursdays. This week, it starts Wednesday. Three long days before I can see her.

As usual, once the adrenaline rush starts, work becomes a blur. My pulse throbs. My skin crackles. The testosterone soaks into my soul. I don't give a damn about PowerPoint, not that I ever did. I mark time, desperate for the weekend, desperate for the relief.

It doesn't help that Wednesday is the staff meeting from Hell. Two hours of listening to my boss and his favorite flunky extol the virtues of their most recent shuffling of org structure boxes and the new software tools they've bought to quote 'streamline our efficiency' endquote. I tune out. I can already hear the music in my mind. Fortunately, before its my turn for 'around the table' reporting, my cubicle mate pokes me. My boss frowns when I explain the most recent code snafu that will delay me finishing the beautiful graphs for his European conference. I promise I'll have them Friday close of business, which seems to mollify him a bit. Just a bit.

Wednesday afternoon does not improve. The data scrolling across my screen doesnt make sense. I do another line walkthrough of the code. I dont see anything wrong. I try some hand calculations. They dont match my screen. When the janitor fires up the vacuum cleaner, I give up and head out. Once again, I have nothing to show for my day.

At home, I pop a Boston Market Frozen Meatloaf Dinner in the microwave and turn on Entertainment Tonight. Its mindless, but its better than the news, which is better than the silence if I turn the TV off. The distraction helps a little. After I've eaten and washed my fork and glass, my mind drifts back to her. I sit back on the couch, open my pants, and masturbate to my first orgasm of the evening.

Its okay. I mean, its an orgasm, so how bad can it be? Other than the mess, of course. I throw my shirt in the laundry and look for a book to read. Preferably one that I havent reread so recently that I can remember it all. I take my time and settle on a dog-eared worn favorite. It fills my evening until its time for bed.

I cant sleep, though. Every time I clear my mind, thoughts of her slink back in and my blood heats. I give up and throw back the covers and stroke myself to another orgasm. Its not enough, so I go for a third. Finally, sheer exhaustion overwhelms me and I drift into dreamland.

* * *

This first story spawned a series of stories on addictive behavior (which is now available in an anthology ebook, details below). As I explored this corner of sexuality, I realized that most work on addiction focused on how destructive it was. Very little pointed out just how much fun addictive behaviors are.

For the dirty secret of addictions is that theyre enjoyable. We get addicted to things that bring us pleasure—not to doing our taxes or eating lima beans. The addiction comes when we choose the pleasure over the longer term consequences. Sex has one of the great pleasures. So shouldn’t serious sexual addiction discussions reflect that?

My story Sugar follows an older man funding a young woman’s college education. He describes his pleasure at her company in the following excerpt:

* * *

On the drive to Denver in my BMW, shes her usual chatty self. She talks about finals and studying and the big party at the Student Union at the beginning of the week. I ask how her roommates are doing and learn the sordid details of their recent failed romances and adventures in overdoing the alcohol. She accuses me of rolling my eyes, but I remind her that I was young once too, and can recall when the most important question in the world was where we were going to score our next joint.

She looks a bit abashed, and I chuckle. Shes never admitted to doing drugs, but sometimes her stories have convenient gaps in them. I dont call her on them. Im her lover, after all, not her father.

The restaurant valet gives us the usual double look. As usual, she ignores it, and as usual, it bothers me just a bit. I shake it off as we head inside.

The conversation continues its pleasant ramble over dinner. The only dissonant note is when I ask about her job search. She haltingly says theres been no change.

The offers still open,” I say.

She shakes her head. “And the answers the same. I cant work for you.”

Itd be good experience. And the company would pay for your MBA.”

She gives me a pained, pleading look.

I drop the subject. When she talks about her roommates job offer from Ernst & Young, I tell her about a consulting job they did for us a decade ago. We talk the nuts and bolts of business well through dessert, and she hangs on my every word.

Im feeling like a king as we leave. She tucks her arm into mine and nestles close. When the valet brings the car, she smiles at him, and then gives me a kiss on the cheek. The valet cant hide his envy.

Eat your heart out, kid.

I could float home.

Instead, I take the drive slow, savoring it. A beautiful young woman in a BMW, after a fabulous meal. Does it get any better than this?

At home, by unspoken understanding, we head up to the master suite. She grabs her overnight bag and excuses herself. While shes in the bathroom, I turn back the sheets, undress, and get out the condoms. I stretch out on the bed and casually play with myself while I wait for her.

When she appears, shes stunning. As usual. Shes in black thigh highs, a sheer robe, and the tiniest bra and g-string she owns. The necklace hangs at the top of her cleavage, a sparkling star against the tan of her skin and the black of her lingerie.

She smiles, confident and pleased at my reaction. She raises an eyebrow, silently acknowledging my appreciation. Then she slowly strolls forward, each foot placed precisely, each sway of her hips and her breasts fighting for my eyes and attention.

At the foot of the bed, she gestures toward my erection. “Is that for me?”

I laugh.

She kicks off her heels as she crawls onto the bed. With a lick of her lips, she gingerly takes my cock in one hand and sweeps her hair back. She looks me in the eye and then lowers her mouth.

* * *

As I wrote these stories, I realized that the growth in self-awareness was as much a part of addiction as the acts themselves. In The Fog of San Francisco, the narrator returns from an amazing lap dance in a seedy club:


* * *
Back in the hotel room, late that night, I realized that there was only one thing I wanted to do. I wanted to go back to the club with a condom and have Melani cuddle me while my cock nestled inside her.

I also realized that there was one thing I absolutely could not do. I couldnt go back to the club with a condom and ask Melani to fuck me. You dont pull the goddess into the gutter. You dont suck the feast into the filth.

Which... which is what I was.

Sandy knew it. I knew it. Melani knew it—but didnt mind.

And that broke my heart.

I couldnt be the pathetic loser who talked about how tight a strippers ass was while he fucked her. I couldnt be the guy who lived for handjobs under the table. I couldnt be the one who emptied his wallet yearning for just a caress...

I couldnt...

I couldnt...

I couldnt go back.

Somehow I got undressed, curled under the blankets in a fetal position, and cried. I cried until I fell asleep.

Morning brought blinding sun. Once again, Id forgotten to close the curtains. I woke groggy, but when I stood my head was clear. I paused in front of the window. The fog had gone and the sun glittered off the Bay. Blue, beyond what I thought blue could be. Clean, as if God had wiped the grit from the air. As I stood there, breathing deep, a sense of warmth filled my body.

Church bells pealed, and I followed the sound to see a small Catholic church near the hotel. I smiled as I watched the happy people gathering in the square outside.

I threw my clothes on and headed down. I could slip into a back pew and have breakfast after. It felt like a day for, well, as cliché as it is, it felt like a new day.

* * *

Ultimately, I think the real challenge in addressing addiction in literary erotica is that it goes straight at the contradiction I opened with: is there a contradiction between being a former addict and a porn writer? I.e., do erotic and addictive story elements mix?

Hopefully, with these excerpts, I’ve shown that they can.

* * *

More of Big Eds work and stories can be found at BEs Place, www.besplace.com, and BEs Place Books, www.besplacebooks.com. His Addictive Desires anthology is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Smashwords.



Addictive Desires
by Big Ed Magusson

Theres a richness of experience where desire and addiction collide, rarely explored in literary erotica. The twelve stories in this collection portray individuals dealing with addictive desires in both blatant and subtle ways. From a man obsessed with checking online porn, to one who doesn't understand why his sugar baby wants to move on, some are stories of cluelessness. Others are stories of redemption--due to love or simply grown self-awareness. They each capture the depth of desire mixed with a need for more than simply sex.


Saturday, April 14, 2012

Running the Fuck

By Big Ed Magusson (Guest Blogger)

“I like to run the fuck.”

I couldn’t help smiling at Master Patrick’s words. Around us, the dungeon throbbed and hummed. Most people stood in small clumps, talking as usual, but three of the flogging stations were in use and in the far corner some needle play was going on. Earlier, Master William had demonstrated the use of a single tail whip to the repeated shrieks of his sub, but now they were nowhere to be seen. They’d either gone home or locked themselves in the larger bathroom with the couch to screw.

I waved my fingers to indicate our surrounds. “So none of this does it for you?”

He shook his head. “This is window dressing. The only thing that matters is that my sub does what I say.”

* * *

One of the wonderful things about alternative sexual communities is that few people are offended by sexual questions. In my early thirties, my sexual explorations had taken me to the local bdsm community, and I asked a lot of questions. ‘How?’ ‘What?’ and most of all, ‘Why?’

‘Why’ was illuminating. I discovered that I fell on the Dom side of the spectrum because, frankly, I got bored when I subbed. Planning ‘the fuck’ was fun. Running ‘the fuck’ was fun. Lying back and receiving ‘the fuck,’ even from an eager and enthusiastic partner, was like waiting for my college chemistry class to end. Yeah, it was probably good for me, but it was hard to keep my mind on what was actually happening.

Furthermore, I learned to identify the true Dom’s in the club. They weren’t the same as the sadists, of course, who were often easy to spot. The window dressing of leather and black cloth all too often draped poseurs and beginners as well as the experienced and serious. The true Dom’s distinguished themselves by their energy, the way they carried themselves, the way they were deliberate in action and speech. This energy, this sense, could almost always be reduced to those simple few words: ‘running the fuck.’

As a consequence, this sense of ‘running the fuck’ is the biggest influence on my erotica that comes from my time learning to be a Dom. While it obviously is part of the bdsm erotica I write, it’s also present throughout my vanilla erotica. An early example is from my novel The Ugly One. The set-up for this excerpt is that the Nevada courtesan Tamara has arranged an orgy for the narrator, John. One of the invitees is Sherri, another courtesan whom John has only met briefly before.

***

“No,” I said. “I don’t want you doing this as a favor to Tamara. I know she’s your friend and you might be willing to screw me, but I’m not a charity case. No favors.”

Sherri looked at me. Slowly, a feral smile appeared on her lips.

“That’s fine,” she drawled. “There’s just one problem. I’m not Tamara’s friend.”

Sherri stretched and stood up, like a cat just waking.

“I just started here this month and I didn’t meet Tamara until three days ago. I like her, but we’re not friends.”

Sherri sauntered over in front of me. She planted her feet, shoulder width apart, with her hands on her hips.

“So if I fuck you,” she purred, “it’s because I want to fuck you.”

With that, Sherri bent over and grabbed my collar, pulling me up. I was on my feet before I could resist. Sherri was taller than I’d expected, so we were face to face. She wrapped her arms around me, placing one hand on my neck, directly below my scalp. I was too surprised and spellbound to stop her. She pulled my head in until our lips met. Then she shoved her tongue in my mouth. Shocked, I started to return her kiss on auto-pilot.

***

What follows is pretty standard sex--no whips, no ropes, no black leather. Sherri, however, is going to ‘run the fuck’ like Master Patrick back in the bdsm club. Or like I found I liked to do.

Now I’m not a sadist, nor do I particularly need to watch a submissive bend to my will. In fact, my primary kink is voyeurism, which domination enables in the most straightforward manner. I can get my desired rush by saying, “lift your skirt and let me see your pussy. Now, please.” That act might be simply voyeuristic in the bedroom, but in the middle of a library with other people around, it has rather strong Dom/sub energies that make it even more delicious (and for the record, she did, and the view was glorious).

These energies, I find, can infuse and alter many erotic scenes and give them greater depth. Consider a simple screwing between a man and a woman. If he bends her over the back of a piece of furniture and takes her from behind, the energy is completely different than if they’re entwined side by side on a bed. If she’s on top, is she riding him like a cowgirl racing for the stables, or just languorously posing while she squeezes her Kegels? Or consider other simple acts. Despite Sam’s singing in Casablanca, is a kiss just a kiss?

The following excerpt is from my story Two Minute Penalties. The premise is simple: the narrator Liz and her romantic interest Steve are betting on hockey games after having flirted for some time. The loser has to pay a ‘two minute penalty’ where the winner chooses what happens. In the scene below, Liz’s team has just lost.

***

“Do you want to pay up now, or save it until the end of the series?” Steve asked.

I caught my breath.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’m kind of nervous. Which would be better?”

“If you’re nervous, how about paying two minutes now and the rest later? You can get a taste and decide if you still want to continue the bet.”

I blushed. I certainly wanted more than a taste! But Steve had this… presence. It was reassuring and frightening at the same time. I suspected he could give me a bigger “taste” than I could handle.

I nodded. Steve stood up and took my hand and led me into his bedroom. It was clean and Spartan—other than his computer and several bookcases, it was pretty bare. He shut the door behind us and turned to me.

“Close your eyes,” he said.

I did.

“Two minutes can be a long time,” he said.

I snorted, remembering some power plays that would never end.

“It’s now 3:55 pm. When it’s 3:56, I’ll begin.”

I waited.

“Now. Please keep your eyes closed.”

Steve placed his hands on my shoulders, then slowly ran them down my arms, to the tips of my fingers. I could sense him walking around behind me. He placed his hands on my shoulders again and slowly ran them down to my fingers. This time, he pulled my arms behind me until my palms touched.

“Clasp your hands, please.” His voice was still very gentle while firm.

I quickly complied.

I sensed him moving in front of me. I started to crack my eyelids and he paused.

“Please keep your eyes closed.”

I squinched them shut.

Steve stepped in close. I could feel his breath on my cheek. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder again. This time he slowly slid it up, to the nape of my neck, and then onto my cheek. He paused, just holding me, lightly caressing my skin. Then he swept his hand back until he caught my hair and pushed it out behind my ear. There he paused, his thumb making small circles just underneath my earlobe.

Oh God, this felt good! My breath was getting shallow, though I was still nervous about what might come next. I could also feel my body begin to respond to his touch.

Steve leaned in, and his breath warmed my ear. I could almost feel him, though only his hand still touched me.

Then he kissed me behind the ear. My knees nearly buckled as he nuzzled my flesh. I started to bring my hands up to hold him, but he caught my arms and pushed them back behind me.

I acquiesced.

Steve pulled back and then audibly stepped away.

***

It was a kiss, a simple kiss, and not even on the lips. Yet is there any doubt as to what may come if Liz allows Steve to continue to ‘run the fuck’?

Now that said, I often use a dance metaphor when I write about sex. Often, like in ballroom dancing, one person is leading and keeps the lead throughout. However, tap dancing is replete with routines where the lead bounces back and forth. One dancer does a few showy steps, the other copies. Then the second shows off, and the first copies. In other dance styles, it’s not clear at all who the lead is. Who’s in charge in the mosh pit?

In the bdsm community, this change most obviously appears with those who identify as switches and can Dom or sub as the mood or scene fits them. I knew one transvestite who perfectly manifested this. When he showed up at the club dressed as a man, we knew ‘John’ was feeling dominant. When he showed up as ‘Joanna,’ in his dress and pigtails, we knew he was looking for someone to give him a spanking. Most switches didn’t contain such visual cues, though, and thus one has to sensing their body language and energy to know their mood.

This change of lead also sometimes shows up in ‘topping from below’ where the nominal submissive is actually running the fuck. I played with this in my tentacle sex story, Irie No Kaubutsu. Both characters are experienced bdsm’ers and switches. In the excerpt below, the narrator is nominally the Dom, but Michiko is really the one running the fuck.

***

“Please… Please,” Michiko said. “May we move to the bed?”

“Hmmm. I think we can do that. But only if you’re a good girl.”

She vigorously nodded, so I pulled back. She turned and we kissed passionately before she twirled around the bedpost and sank onto the mattress. She smiled, languid and feline, as she stretched out and held her wrists above her head.

I put on my best evil leer as I moved to her side.

“Tie me,” she said and then closed her eyes. “I want to be tied.”

I blinked. We hadn’t packed our cuffs and rope, since I had been afraid of dealing with customs, and I wasn’t sure what to use as a replacement.

“Please.” Michiko slid one hand down to her breasts and then down to her mound. “I want to feel your tongue all over my body while I am helpless.” She started fingering her clit.

I let out a low breath. I loved watching her writhe in pleasure, which she well knew. I kept my eyes on her as best I could as I rummaged through our bags. One of my neckties and the sash from Michiko’s robe quickly became makeshift bonds.

Michiko whimpered when I pulled her hand away from her pussy, but purred when I fixed it to one of the posts in the headboard. I tied the other wrist and then blanketed her body with my own.

“Tongue,” she said.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Who’s the Dom here? I wondered.

***

All three of these excerpts are from stories that aren’t considered bdsm erotica. The Ugly One is a personal growth story, Two Minute Penalties is a traditional romance, and Irie No Kaubutsu is a monster story. Yet all three have benefitted from the insight I gained from Master Patrick. Who ‘runs the fuck’ is important, and it’s something I’ve tried to be conscious of throughout my writing.

The Ugly One, Two Minute Penalties, Irie No Kaubutsu can all be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords. The Ugly One and Two Minute Penalties are also available for free at www.besplace.com.