Lucky
You by Carl Hiaasen
Pan
Books, 1991
Once
a week, veterinary technician Jo Layne Lucks stops at the Grab ‘N
Go convenience store in tiny Grange, Florida to purchase a lottery
ticket. Her numbers never change; each represents one of the five
failed relationships in her life. She figures she should get
something from those losers. When she actually hits the twenty eight
million dollar jackpot, though, she discovers that her good luck
comes at a high price.
Two
white supremacists from down-state played the same numbers, so the
prize will be split. However, Bode and Chub aren’t satisfied with
just fourteen million. They’re determined to have the whole pot,
especially when they learn that the owner of the other ticket is a
Black woman. Bode and his henchman plan to use the lottery proceeds
to finance the White Clarion Aryans, the militia Bode has founded to
combat the imminent invasion of Nato troops from the Bahamas. They
have it on good authority that the blue UN helicopters will land any
day, to hand America over to the dark-skinned foreigners who’ve
overrun the country. Hence, they feel more than justified showing up
at Jo Layne’s house, giving her a savage beating, and stealing her
lottery stub. They get the ticket, though neither escapes unscathed
from Jo Layne’s ferocious efforts at self-defense.
Tom
Krone considers himself a serious journalist. He’s sick of writing
trivial human interest stories for the local paper that employs him.
When his editor sends him to Grange to interview the young woman who
has just won fourteen million dollars, that’s the last straw. He
quits his job, but somehow ends up in Grange anyway, fascinated by
the tough, principled and attractive Jo Layne. Together, they track
down the racist bullies who assaulted her. The wild, dangerous chase
gives them a chance to get to know and trust one another – but
there’s a very real chance that when they finally corner the
vicious, well-armed villains, their luck will run out.
Carl
Hiaasen’s Florida-based novels have been called “crime fiction”,
but I see them more as social satire. However you label them, his
books offer outrageous hilarity layered over a strong moral compass.
Lucky You is fantastically entertaining, with tight plotting,
snappy dialogue and lots of quirky, vividly drawn characters. Aside
from Jo Layne, Tom, and the villains, Lucky You introduces us
to Amber, the clever, sexy Hooters waitress who so entrances Chub
that he has her kidnapped; Katie the judge’s wife, a devout
Catholic who has a passionate fling with Tom then feels morally
obligated to share every detail with her husband – leading the
jealous judge to arrange Tom’s murder; narcissistic actress Mary
Andrea, Tom’s estranged wife, who’s hiding out in Montana to
prevent Tom’s lawyer from serving her divorce papers, because
nobody in her family has ever gotten divorced; Shiner, the
none-too-bright convenience store clerk who’s sucked in to Bode’s
and Chub’s nefarious plot, but saved by Amber; a gaggle of Grange
townsfolk, who make their living by manufacturing religious
manifestations like a crying Madonna and fake stigmata; and Moffitt,
the savvy “Man in Black” federal agent who’s futilely in love
with Jo Layne.
Hiassen
shows insight into and sympathy for all of his characters, even the
bad guys. That’s one reason why this is such a feel-good novel. You
can almost see the author shaking his head at Bode’s and Chub’s
vile antics. They ultimately get what they deserve, a fate one
wouldn’t wish upon anyone. Hiassen’s universe is simultaneously
random and orderly. Characters reap what they sow.
Female
characters dominate the narrative, Jo Layne and Amber in particular.
They both understand the power of feminine allure, but ultimately
prevail more through brains and bravery than beauty. Though Tom is
officially the hero, he’s mostly dragged along for the ride,
compelled by his feelings for the impetuous veterinary technician.
Many of the other male characters (for instance, Tom’s editor
Sinclair and Domenick the religious scam artist) end up seeming
slightly ridiculous. Still, Hiaasen is never mean or petty. In his
fictional Florida, everyone has his schtick, and that’s
okay, as long as nobody gets hurt.
I
should mention that Florida itself is a sort of character in this
novel. I don’t know the state well at all, but Hiaasen portrays the
place as a natural wonder at great risk from its inhabitants. A good
bit of the action takes place on the wild, deserted islands in
Florida Bay – still enough of a wilderness (at least when this book
was published, in 1991 originally) that a man stranded on one is more or less
condemned to death.
Despite
the fact that Lucky You was published almost three decades ago,
it doesn’t feel at all dated. Alas, the pernicious sentiments and
beliefs displayed by Bode and Chub are more prevalent now than ever.
Fortunately, Hiaasen’s not interested in penning a political rant.
He allows readers to draw their own conclusions.
If
you’re looking for some laughs to take your mind off the Covid-19
situation, get yourself a copy of this book – and count yourself
lucky.
