Review Tuesday: Love at First Sting (#bdsm #PowerExchange #ReviewTuesday)

Love at First Sting: Sexy Tales of Erotic Restraint

Edited by Alison Tyler

Cleis Press, 2007

If I had noticed Love at First Sting on the shelf at a bookstore, I probably would not have picked it up. The main title is awkward and derivative, the subtitle makes the book sound like frothy porn, and the olive drab cover, featuring a blurry, corset-clad torso, is hardly compelling. If I hadn't been asked to review the book, I probably would not have read it. This would have been a shame, because this collection is one of the best erotic anthologies that I've encountered in a long time.

I read a lot of BDSM, partly from personal interest and partly because as a reviewer I've been pigeonholed (accurately, perhaps) into the "kinky" category. Alison Tyler's volume is a refreshing contrast to some recent anthologies that focus on the more recreational aspects of spanking, bondage, and other perverse sports. The stories in this collection (with a few exceptions like Lisette Ashton's frisky "Bound to Kill" and "The '76 Revolution", a sweet tale by Nikki Maggennis) concern themselves with the darker side of dominance and submission. Temptation, obsession, guilt, fear, ecstasy and revelation - these stories crackle with serious emotion. These are not about "play parties".

In Teresa Lamai's breathless "Small Windows", a man and a woman are drawn together by mutual needs that neither can fully understand, or control.

"I have one cell phone just for his calls. When it vibrates, I drop everything. I feign sickness if I have to. I once left court and ran twenty blocks in the fog because there were no taxis. I thought my heart would burst.

Each time he opens the door the fugue starts again. I know once I see him I'll feel the shock in the solar plexus, the painful flash of heat behind my pubic bone that sears out all other questions, that cauterizes my mind until it's closed and quiet. With Josh I'm a starfish, spread flat and writhing gently, mindless and swollen and tingling."

James Walton Langolf's raw and lyrical "Abraham" begins:

"She is his Isaac laid out on the hood of his Ford - open, bared to his blade."

The tale continues, a fierce conflagration of a fuck between a man who's lonely and a woman who's desperate, but all the roughness ends in redemption - "the rain is washing her clean."

In the quieter darkness of Alison Tyler's "The Kiss", a master deliberately traps his sub in an impossible situation by forcing her to disobey him, and then makes her suffer the consequences.

Vida Bailey's "Torn" features a severe older woman and the disobedient young man whom she's tutoring. She tans his hide to improve his motivation, but the focus here is not on this classic situation, but on the dominant tutor's reactions and regrets:

"She watched his back; his long legs walking down the lane, away. His stride was more careful than the one he had come with. He was tender. Tears rose in her eyes. If she could she would keep him tied, to her bed, to her body, to move within the circle of his warmth and have him smile a smile that was for her only, secret, teasing and possessive."

"Silence is Golden" is perhaps the best story I've ever read by the prolific Rachel Kramer Bussel. When she is bound and gagged, a talkative woman learns to really pay attention:

"The silence rang in my ears as I came, the absence of sound coaxing me over the edge as saliva pooled in my mouth, my burning wrists took the imprints of the rope, and I reveled in his fast, hard, hammering thrusts. When we were done, there was no need to speak."

Two other tales that deserve special note are Sommer Marsden's "She Looked Good in Ribbons", and Brooke Stern's "The Art of the Suture". The former is a beautiful, intense account of two strangers meeting for the first time to fulfill their most cherished fantasies. The latter is a highly original pseudo-historical tale which may be the most perverse in the entire collection, even though it includes no graphic sex.

My favorite piece in this book is Donna George Storey's "Blinded". A woman and her lover stumble together into an escalating series of games involving a blindfold. Their physical communion masks the misunderstandings between them, which climax when he seems to be threatening to kill her. The story is an amazing roller coaster of emotions: lust, terror, uncertainty, silence, anger, love. I was shaking when I finished reading it.

Dominance and submission have been claimed by popular culture, and tamed into bedroom games played with fur-lined cuffs and whips made of feathers. Undiluted, in its original form, though, BDSM is strong stuff. A few stories in this collection were too rough, too cruel, for my personal tastes. Overall, though, Love at First Sting recaptures the thrill and the terror of genuine power exchange. Readers who have no experience with BDSM may find it confusing and disturbing, or possibly enlightening. Initiates are likely to recognize themselves in these stories.

Review Tuesday: Slave to Love edited by Alison Tyler ( #reviewtuesday #bdsm #anthology )

Slave to Love edited by Alison Tyler

Cleis Press, 2011

Slave to Love is a diverse and sometimes surprising anthology dealing with dominance and submission. Originally published in 2006, it was re-released in 2011, which is when I wrote this review. It remains a classic.

Some of the tales follow familiar BDSM patterns, pushing buttons that really never wear out (at least for me). "Sonnet" by Cate Robertson beautifully presents a classic BDSM relationship from the dominant's perspective, demonstrating that the master is as much a slave as his lovely submissive. C.D. Formetta's "Everything You Want" focuses on the inevitable, irresistible quality of a D/s connection—and its fragility. In "Without Mercy", Erica Dumas bravely explores the common but taboo fantasy of being raped, laying bare the duality of fear and desire. "Five Bucks a Swat" by Christopher Pierce is a light-hearted but unquestionably hot gay spanking tale, while Jean Roberta and Marilyn Jaye Lewis offer up steamy lesbian power exchange in "Going Down" and "Daddy's Girl", respectively.

My favorite stories, though, were those which took a more non-traditional tack. "The Real Prize" by Mia Underwood revolves around a contest to win a car, in which the contestants vie to see who can remain awake and touching the vehicle for the longest time. The heroine, a jilted sub, figures her training will make her a shoe-in; she doesn't expect the competition to include a bad boy dom who's exactly her type. "Ordinary Love" by R.Gay explores a bizarre, complex relationship that's part game, part war, part love affair. Vanessa Evans' "Master of Technology" would be a typical punishment story if it were not for the fact that the punishable offense is failing to learn a new operating system. "Unlike the Others" by Xavier Acton is a humorous tale featuring a novice dominatrix learning to love her work. Shanna Germain's fabulous "Pierce Me" has a bit of a BDSM flavor, but it's really about the having the courage to make one's fantasies real. "Divorce Proceedings" by N.T. Morley is a wise funny look at a non-traditional marriage. Finally, Alison Tyler's ironic "Well Trained" lends support to the popular belief that exercise is torture.

All in all, Slave to Love is an eclectic, arousing collection. Given my personal predilection for BDSM erotica, I don't know how I missed reading it the first time around.

Review Tuesday: Those Girls by Alison Tyler

Those Girls by Alison Tyler

Go Deeper Press, 2015

In the post-FSOG era, writing effective, arousing and literate BDSM erotica has become an almost impossible task. Ideas and expressions that were once fresh and exciting are now clichés. At the same time, the readership for kinky fiction has expanded to include hundreds of thousands who are intrigued and aroused by dominance and submission, but who may have never experienced it.

As an author, you have to avoid sugar-coating the interactions between the top and bottom, reducing a BDSM scene to “romance with ropes”. Without a hint of danger, at least a whiff of challenge, a power exchange will feel tame and lack authenticity. At the other extreme, a BDSM story that focuses too much on the physical activities and implements, spinning out page after page of bondage, floggings, and brandings, will end up being boring and maybe a bit alarming, rather than hot. Okay, I’m revealing my own prejudices here, but in my view, the core excitement in a BDSM scene derives from the psychological and emotional elements, which run the gamut from arrogance and shame to devotion and trust. What characters think, feel and say turns out to be much more important than what they do.

It’s tough to write that way, though, because some readers don’t understand that the thrill of surrendering control—or taking control—has little to do with the whips and chains, leather and latex the public associates with BDSM.

Alison Tyler makes it look easy.

Those Girls, her recently released title from Go Deeper Press, is only a few thousand words long, but it’s far more nuanced and complex than the infamous trilogy. Narrated by Sandy, an expert dominant who prides himself on his insight into a submissive’s desires, it’s actually a signal lesson on the dangers of first impressions. When Sandy encounters newbie Vanessa, looking nervous and wearing brand new leather, at a very private club, he first figures she’s a hopeless wannabe sub who knows nothing about kink. Then, when he recognizes her as a local newspaper reporter, he’s furious that she has somehow penetrated the club’s defenses in order to write an exposé he knows will be calculated to shock rather than to portray the reality of kink.

He sets out to teach Vanessa a lesson, but in fact, he learns as much as she does. His initial assumptions turn out to be gravely in error.

I don’t want to say too much and spoil the pleasure of exploring this beautifully crafted story. There’s enough sex to satisfy readers who believe that the physical part of BDSM is what counts. For me, though, it’s the kaleidoscopic emotions animating this tale that will stick in my mind. Anger, fear, lust, respect, stubbornness, generosity, wonder—it’s amazing how much Ms. Tyler packs into this brief gem.

But then, that’s who she is, and that’s what she does, so very well.

Review Tuesday: Dark Secret Love by Alison Tyler

Dark Secret Love by Alison Tyler

Pretty Things Press, 2013

“Some men just know.”

Thus begins Alison Tyler's scorchingly honest memoir, appropriately titled “A Story of Submission”. Her prologue continues: “I've been lucky enough to find those men several times in my life.”

Dark Secret Love chronicles Ms. Tyler's journey through relationships with several dominants, as she struggles to accept her own needs for punishment and for pain. She was only eighteen when she met her first Dom – no virgin, but well aware already that “normal” sex didn't really satisfy her. “I didn't need to tell him anything,” she writes. “He saw me and gave me his number scrawled on a paper napkin. Call me, was all it said.”

To be so transparent to a Master – to be recognized for what you are and what you crave – in fact, not only recognized but approved and valued – is a heady experience for a submissive. (I can testify from personal experience.) No ordinary person would have guessed the author harbored the dark and deviant fantasies that consumed her. In her teens and twenties, Ms. Tyler (or maybe I can call her Alison, after the intimate confessions in this book) was smart, witty, self-confident, petite and pretty, responsible and hard working, a good girl in every way. Nobody would have guessed that she wanted to be beaten, used, humiliated, punished – that all her fantasies involved pain, that (in the words forced from her by one of her Doms) “It has to hurt.”

Nobody, that is, except those few men who in fact could give her what she needed. First there was Brock, the motorcycle-riding petty crook ten years her senior:

“I have a photo of him following a night of no sleep. He's wearing black jeans and no shirt under an open blazer and he's smoking a cigarette, but barely, the butt dangling from his lower lip. He has that insolent fuck you look that has always made me wet in a minute.”

Then, after she moved in with her rich, narcissistic, hopelessly vanilla fiancé Byron, there was Connor, young, brash and California blond. Ultimately, her raw, stolen moments with Connor are the reason Byron throws her out on the street, not even allowing her access to her clothing.

Once she's free (or perhaps “set adrift” would be more appropriate), Connor arrives at her door with flowers. And a crop.

Alison's account of her three years with Byron will be enough to convince you that the skeleton of this tale is true. No one would fabricate such a stupid decision as to move in with a guy like him. Still, you can understand her motivations to some extent as a desperate attempt to be normal and socially acceptable. Externally Byron was everything a woman should want. Furthermore, as one of her Doms points out later, she did submit to him, for three years, wearing the clothing he chose, decorating his house the way he liked, suppressing her real self in a (hopeless) attempt to please him.

However, to paraphrase Shakespeare, kink will tell.

Connor leaves for Georgia, to pursue his own dreams. Alison stays behind in LA. (“We didn't have love. We had lust.”) Sleeping on a couch in the group apartment of a friend of a friend, the author gets involved with her two male roommates, Garrett and Nate. Both turn out to be well-practiced dominants, though Alison goes far deeper with Nate. This is one episode that felt fictional to me. Perhaps the ratio of dominants to the general population is significantly higher in Los Angeles than the rest of the world, but honestly, what are the chances both guys you're living with are hot, kinky, and skilled in the dominant arts? As well as kind and supportive?

Of course, maybe the author was more fortunate than most of us.

Finally, Alison encounters Jack, a steel-willed, frightfully powerful, intermittently cruel older man who not only sees what she needs, but forces her to admit it.

“Say it. I want to hear you say it.”

A deep, shaking breath. “This isn't punishment.”

“What isn't?”

Eyes shut tight now. “The fact that you're going to use your belt on me.”

“I'm going to whip you.”

Oh, Jesus, please.

“You're going to whip me,” I repeat obediently. “But it's not a punishment. It's a reward.”

“Why?”

“Because I need it.” I choked on the statement, so difficult to admit, so hard to confess.

Jack brought his mouth close to my cheek then, kissed me fiercely, and when he spoke, his words were so soft I could barely hear them. “Don't worry so much, Sam. I need it, too.”

Jack strips away whatever shreds of normality the author has left. He insists that she be absolutely faithful and obey him without question. He punishes her when she's resistant or disobedient – and when she's not. He's more extreme and more manipulative than I would ever want in a Dom, but somehow he's exactly the Master the author has always dreamed of. Dark Secret Love has a happily ever after (apparently, at least), of a peculiarly difficult sort that only BDSM aficionados will appreciate.

I believe this book. I've read many of Alison's short stories, and I recognized the scenarios from some of my favorites. We erotica authors all mine our pasts for fictional material. Now I understand why those brief tales felt so intense. They're slices of life, in the truest sense.

In addition to relating Alison's voyage of sexual discovery, Dark Secret Love also documents the history of her distinguished career as an author. She has written “forever” but only under Nate's benevolent dictatorship does she manage to actually finish a novel and submit her work. Writing has always been easy for her. She's merely capturing the events and revelations as they occur:

And when we were done, if I wasn't too drained (or if he had decided to undo the straps holding me to his bed), I'd head back to my notebook and write it all down. You want to know how I can still remember different nuances, subtle lighting, scents, changes in the weather, the way the cool metal of his cuffs felt on my skin, the way I felt when I heard other girls' voices on the answering machine? That's simple. I recorded it all. Every important moment.

Later, Jack gives her rare permission to travel to New York on her own, to meet with publishers and editors, a thrilling experience that marks her transition from amateur to professional. Indeed, all her dominants support her literary aspirations. I'm very grateful.

If you're tired of the dozens of stories that whitewash BDSM – tales where the sub has more orgasms than stripes, where the first Master who recognizes her as a “natural submissive” turns out be her soul mate, where her fear disappears with the first mild slap on her bare ass – check out this book. Ms. Tyler makes it clear that being a submissive isn't necessarily easy. It's a process of growth. It may take years to unequivocally accept your own dark fantasies and be willing to live them without embarrassment or regret.