“I would do anything for love .
I'll be there until the final act
I would do anything for love.
I'll take a vow and seal a pact”
- Lyrics by Jim Steinman, performed by
Meatloaf on Bat Out of Hell: II
This song has always touched me. I was
humming it the other day (it came out of the blue, triggered perhaps
by some memory of passion) and I realized that the sentiment cuts to
the heart of romance. Anything for love. Against love, all other
powers eventually fail. All other considerations take second place.
Culture, family, history, even mortality – in romance any barrier
can be overcome for the sake of love.
Then I began thinking about BDSM (as I
often do...) and understood that the notion had special poignancy in
the world of power exchange. A true submissive will do anything for
love – anything to prove her devotion to her master – no matter
how painful or humiliating or challenging.
And that led me to thinking
about my novella, The Understudy. Sarah is unable to stop herself from
loving Geoff, even though he seems to belong to another woman. He
invites her to surrender and she cannot help answering his call.
She'll do anything to please him, even if it means risking her career
– or her heart.
I knocked on his door precisely at
midnight. This time Geoffrey answered in person.
He wore a robe of some shimmery
material that looked like silk, twilight blue woven with patterns of
gold. His feet were bare. His eyes were hungry.
“Come in, little one,” he
purred, stepping aside so that I could pass. “You’re very
punctual. I gather you’ve learnt your lesson.”
“Yes, sir.” I didn’t know
what else to say. I stood in the middle of the room, eyes cast down
and hands clasped in front of me like a schoolgirl about to recite. I
couldn’t bear to look at him; I was sure I’d lose control and do
something without his permission.
“So you don’t want another
spanking?” he laughed.
A wave of heat sizzled through me
like summer lightning. I wanted his hands on my flesh—I didn’t
care about the pain.
“It’s your choice,” I
whispered. “Spank me if you want to.”
“Not tonight,” he replied. “For
tonight, I have other ideas. Look at me, Sarah.”
I raised my head. He snared me with
his eyes and wouldn’t release me. As usual under his scrutiny, my
nipples tightened and my pussy wept. He seated himself on the sofa,
still holding my gaze, and crossed one leg over the other.
“Now strip.”
Shame overwhelmed me. I didn’t
understand it. I’d been naked in his presence the night before
last. He had explored my body, inside and out. Why was I blushing and
sweating now?
I wanted to obey him, to please
him. Truly I did. Yet I couldn’t move.
“Sarah?” he queried, impatience
evident in his voice. “Is there a problem?”
Suddenly I understood my
reluctance. It was all about her. I knew that I couldn’t compete. I
glanced around, searching for her photo, not seeing it anywhere.
Perhaps it was in the bedroom, where he could fall asleep gazing upon
her beauty…
“Sarah!” His rebuke brought my
eyes back to his. “If you’re not going to follow instructions,
you might as well go back to your room.”
“Oh no! Please don’t send me
away. I’m sorry.”
I rushed to unbutton my blouse, not
caring whether I was graceful or seductive. His scowl relaxed as I
bared my breasts, my eager nipples all too obviously erect. His lips
shaped themselves into a half-smile as I yanked off my skirt and
tossed it away. That was all it took. I hadn’t worn a bra or
panties for two days.
“Good girl. Why did you
hesitate?”
“I—um—I didn’t know whether
you’d like me. Whether I’d please you. My breasts are so small…”
“Your breasts are just fine.
Anyway, it’s not your place to worry about such things. When I tell
you to do something, just do it. Don’t question, obey.”
“Yes, sir. I understand.” A
tiny part of me wanted to protest, to complain, to rage against him
for using me to dull his desire for his true love. Then he flicked
his robe open, revealing his rampant erection. Any thought of
resistance vanished. I wanted to be used.
“Kneel,” he commanded. “Suck
me.”
I
bruised my knees in my hurry to comply.
I've
been there. I know what it feels like, to be willing to push yourself
to your limits and beyond, for the sake of love. I try to capture
that delirious, scary feeling in my stories.
It's
not all one-sided, however. The dominant offers his own gifts, a
world of safety, trust, and flashes of ecstasy mingled with the pain.
In the song, the woman sings:
“Will
you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Will
you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can
you give me something I can take home? ”
And
her lover answers: I can do that.
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