Are We There Yet?

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Smut and Controversy - Two Things that Go Together Well

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Glass Houses

Before you hit that "Publish Post" button - think carefully!

I tend to think of my personal blog as a place to share my thoughts: to philosophize, to critique, to vent. Sometimes writing a blog post feels like writing a personal email. The whole idea of the blog is to allow visitors to get to know me better - and hopefully, to interest them in the possibility of reading my books.

A recent incident, though, reminded me that there's nothing "personal" about a blog, or at least nothing private. A close friend posted a blog that expressed some opinions about other authors. As it turned out, he made some assumptions that were not true. His mistakes were based on ignorance rather than malice. Nevertheless, a firestorm of criticism erupted in response. One of the authors mentioned found her way to his post via Google Alerts and then all hell broke loose - mostly not on on the original blog but on another public blog that has even higher visibility. The poor guy was greatly chagrined. He apologized profusely, but to some extent the damage had been done. I do think that in the future he'll check his facts more carefully before clicking that button.

The debacle forcefully reminded me that on the Internet, we all live in glass houses. We may think of ourselves as relatively obscure (I do, at least), "talking" in our blogs to a relatively small group of supporters, but the fact is, everything I write here is potentially available to the billions of individuals who now have access to the Internet. In fact, even people who don't speak English may pick up on my posts. A while ago Google Alerts led me to a really weird, distorted version of one of my reviews on a Russian website. Apparently, the poster had run the review through Google to translate it to Russian, and then back into English. Very strange!

Anyone could Digg one of my posts, or link to it on their own blog, or send it to Facebook. Every day the network of potential connections grows denser. When I Google my pen name, I find pages and pages of links, to bookstores, to blogs, to other authors' sites...it's amazing, a bit humbling and just slightly scary.

So I constantly have to remind myself to be careful. For the most part I don't post personal photos on any public website. When I want to share pictures with family and friends, I'll put them up on a password-protected section of one of my personal sites. I don't discuss in too much detail where I live or what I do or who I know. This is true of both my writing persona and my real world self.

It's always tempting to reveal more. On Yahoo lists, or commenting on blogs, I'll meet authors or readers with whom I share some experience, and there's that desire to link up, to say, "Oh, me too! I've been there! I lived in that town! I went to that university!". I've got to sit on myself to stop and think first. Does this reveal too much about me? Do I want strangers to know this?

It's a delicate balance, especially when blogging. The whole concept behind blogging is self-disclosure. Readers want to know about authors' lives. If I sanitize my blog posts too much, stripping all the personal details, they'll be boring.

Sometimes, especially in the romance world, one feels like one belongs to a big, enthusiastic family. I'd love to give in, connect, become intimate. But it isn't just friends who can peer into my glass house. I've got to be careful what I say, because on the 'Net, anything could come back to haunt me.

Decisions, decisions...

By Ambrielle Kirk (Guest Blogger)

What factors come into play when you’re book buying?

Buying a book isn’t like buying a car. Well, for some of us anyway. Purchasing a car is a major investment. In some cases, after the transaction is complete, you can’t just take the car back to the dealer. Even though cars depreciate during the entire time you own it, you'll keep this car several years or more before buying a new one. Car buying requires lots of prior research before you even step foot on a dealer lot. You Google the year, make, model car you want to buy, the options, customer reviews, the invoice price, warranties, insurance, future value, etc. etc. etc. So, why did I just tell you that…?

You don’t have to go through all that stress when buying a book. Like a car, a book is something physical, something you can enjoy and keep. Do you pick it up for the pretty cover art? Did you open it and check out the pages, the prose, writing style? Did you read the first chapter? Did you skim the blurb? Was this an author you'd read before? Did someone recommend this book to you? Was it on the clearance rack the day you’re low on funds? Are you interested in a certain genre? Culture? Subject matter? Was it part of an “unputdownable” series?

Are all these factors are part of my book buying process? (LOL) Sometimes I walk up and down the bookstore aisles or surf e-book vendors just as if I’m buying a car. After all, I don’t want to be disappointed with my purchase. The funny part is that any one of these factors in the negative can make me put down a book. I normally judge a book by the cover more often than I should.

Just think about it. The cover, front and back, has everything you need to know before you buy that book. With ebooks, you can read the blurb right there on the World Wide Web. So, sometimes you never have to leave your home to buy a book. If I’m on the fence, I’ll read the first chapter or an available excerpt. Excerpts and first chapters generally don’t tell me anything, for I have read books that had excellent first chapters and flawless excerpts, but whose plot fell flat somewhere between chapter two and the end.

Truthfully, I wish I could read each and every great book out there, but we all know there’s just not enough time in one human lifespan for that.

Maybe I missed some factors. Are there any specifics you look for when buying a book?

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Ambrielle Kirk's fiction ranges from contemporary erotic to dark paranormal romance. Her vivid imagination inspired her to create stories in her pre-teen years and now, over a decade later, that inspiration continues to thrive, bringing flair and edge to everything she writes. Please visit her website www.ambriellekirk.com and blog www.ambriellekirk.wordpress.com for information on current and future book releases.

Grace

I'm not a traditionally religious person. I don't belong to any church or assign myself any labels. However I do strongly believe that existence has a spiritual dimension. I'm happy to absorb the insights of any religion or teacher when they strike me as "true".

For many years I have subscribed to a monthly magazine called Daily Word. It is published by an organization called Unity, a non-denominational Christian group that emphasizes the core of Spirit within each of us. Daily Word is a pocket-sized booklet that offers a word, a meditation and a Scripture quote for each day of the month. I try very hard to set aside ten or fifteen minutes every morning to read and ponder the day's word and message.

Today's word (I'm writing this on Friday the 27th) is "grace". This is one of my favorite messages. Grace is the goodness that we all experience, without having to earn it. It's a continuous flow of blessings that rain down on us, which we can discern clearly if we really open our eyes. In particular, it's comfort in the time of trouble, healing and peace in the midst of turmoil.

You've probably heard the term "grace under fire". This is a different side of what I think is the same concept. "Grace under fire" means acting with strength, power and integrity when the situation makes it really difficult. I have a friend who just finished her radiation treatments after a radical mastectomy. She's smiling and sent me pictures of her family's mountain vacation. That's grace under fire. I recently read a post by a fellow author about her struggle to write even when she's in the grip of clinical depression. That's grace under fire, too.

That kind of inner certainty is something I aspire to.

Of course, "grace" also has a physical meaning, in the sense of elegant, flowing, economical movement. As a dancer, I aspire to that sort of grace as well. Sometimes I achieve it, and when I do, I know that it's because I've tapped into my inner reservoir of beauty.

Years ago, I was soul-searching (a lifetime occupation) and decided that I needed to articulate a vision for my life. What was I trying to achieve? How did I see my few decades on earth. My answer was the following poem, which touches on this same concept of grace.

Vision

My life will be a dance.

I will try to tread lightly,

buoyant

joyful

touching but not trampling.

I will trust my partners

and be trustworthy in return,

Follow through, complete the steps.

I will dance abundance

accepted and shared;

Faith, power,

peace and wonder,

And always,love.

Remember the dance

flows from inside out,

spirit to body

and out to the world,

And that all, spirit, body and world

are sacred.

Even when solo, know

that I dance a part

in a larger pattern.

Leave behind

some increase of joy,

some greater beauty.

I guess I found some kernel of truth then, because when I read this now, this is still my vision: to walk lightly - gracefully (i.e. full of grace) - through the world, focusing on the positive, celebrating love and beauty wherever I find them.

Returning to the Garden of Eden

By M. Millswan (Guest Blogger)

In doing research for my novels,”Tabu” and ”Living in the State of Dreams” I learned quite a bit about the history of public nudity and sex. From Janet Jackson to Betty Page,and from Lady Godiva to Eve in the Garden of Eden, history offers an interesting insight into the origins of the societal taboos about nudity and sex.

In “Tabu”, a novel which reveals the innermost sexual desires of a 1950s era surburban housewife, our heroine lives in a world where a woman’s sexual desires are strictly taboo. “Living in the State of Dreams” looks at society’s prohibitions and phobias regarding public nudity. In “LISD” as part of a federally funded study, a young woman must live her life for six weeks without wearing any clothes. She goes to school, to the mall, out on a date, and even to church, all while totally naked. In writing about her experience at church I came across some very interesting perspectives about the Biblical origins of prohibitions covering nudity and sex.

In Genesis, Adam and Eve are pure, innocent, and blissfully naked in the Garden of Eden. According to this Biblical scripture, Satan in the guise of the serpent induces Eve to eat from the fruit of the tree of knowledge. Once she does, she knows she is naked, and also knows guilt and shame. She has Adam eat from the fruit, and he also comes to know these ugly and negative emotions. According to Genesis, God’s original plan was for Adam and Eve to enjoy each other in a blissful state of natural nudity. But it was Satan who destroyed all this and introduced mankind to the negative emotions of shame and guilt.

If one believes in Christianity and the teachings of the Bible, then one must realize from the story of Genesis that to perceive nudity and sex as shameful, is to fall into Satan’s evil trap. Sex and nudity should be celebrated, not vilified. The ugly and negative emotions inflicted by the prudish and puritanical elements of our society, which cause people to feel guilty about their sexuality are actually the tools of the devil. So, to resist Satan and follow God’s true plan for mankind’s happiness one should enjoy sex as a free and open celebration as frequently as possible.

BIO: M. Millswan has been called, "The Master of Erotic Romance." Born and raised in Houston Texas, he's lived and worked throughout the United States, Mexico and Latin America. Dropping out of a career in international sales, he realized the dream of building and operating an adventure sports white water lodge deep in the jungles of Costa Rica. It was being cut off in the jungle after surviving the destruction of a tropical storm that led to writing his first erotic novel, the award winning, "Rolling the Bones."

Building upon that first success, to date he's authored more than 15 books, also winning acclaim as a writer of the science fiction best seller, "Farlight" and the horror series, "Evil Heights. A sailor, an amateur astronomer, a weightlifter, mountain biker, and also an avid blues guitarist, he has written, performed and produced two CDs: "So Far" and "Lava Tooth." From the cutting edge socio-erotic novel, "Living in the State of Dreams" to the softly sensual "Snap Shot" series of novellas and short stories, based upon actual vintage erotic photographs, his work offers vivid sexuality and powerful emotion.

In '09, his short story, "The Best of Friends" was singled out for critical honors as one the best of the best in the "Swing!" anthology. His recent titles "Tabu" and "The Best Erotic Short Stories of M. Millswan" are available from Fanny Press, who will also publish his upcoming book "Underwood".

Visit M.Millswan at: http://www.farlightpress.com

Buy his most recent books at Fanny Press: http://millswan.fannypress.com

Finding One's Voice

One of the things that draws me to the work of a particular author is his or her "voice"--a style or a unique manner of expression that distinguishes that writer's work from other people's fiction. It seems to me that most romance readers are mostly interested in the story and the characters, but for me, a great deal of the enjoyment in reading comes from the clever, effective, or unusual use of language.

I recently finished my fourth book by the amazing Jonathan Lethem. Two of those books (Amnesia Moon and Gun, With Occasional Music) I'd categorize as science fiction. One (Motherless Brooklyn) is an offbeat thriller. The novel I just finished (You Don't Love Me Yet) probably would be considered an unconventional romance with a hearty dose of satire. Despite the variety of genres, all Lethem's books share some stylistic characteristics.

Lethem is a master of the surprising phrase, the original image. Consider the following, for example:

As she roused herself from the cubicle Lucinda felt a sweet nostalgic stirring of affection, almost like green shoots of horniness under the pavement of her hangover.

Or how about:

Traffic buzzed past on Sunset and Fountain, isolating Tang's like a reef in time. Elderly chess opponents in vintage suits nudged pawns across squares at their booths, under clicking, humming fluorescent fixtures, as though installed there by some miraculous hand that had plucked them from a 1930's Vienna kaffeehaus.

I love authors who have such precise control of their words -- even though they make me jealous!

Another recent discovery with an extremely distinctive voice is erotica author Charlotte Stein. Her voice is a breathless, messy first person that stumbles over itself in its eagerness, propelled by love or lust.

His leg brushes mine, and it's terrible but I like it. I think about last week in the cinema, watching pinkly sweet bodies pretend to enjoy each other on the screen, the screen then fading to black just as it got to the really good bits. And him whispering through the darkness at me: Do you want to make our own good bits up?
I did. I do. But then he asked me to touch myself and I couldn't do it. I told him so, too, and he laughed. Though he hadn't laughed at all when I told him that I'd never touched myself. Not ever.
The look on his face! As though a grown woman who never masturbated was the equivalent of a straight man never looking at a big pair of tits. That shocked, slightly condescending expression made me say some spiteful things to him, but none of them landed. Or, at least, he never made me feel bad for saying them.
(From Things That Make Me Give In)

Another favorite of mine is Sarah Waters, author of Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith. Most of her novels have historical settings; she has a talent for bringing her pasts to life, with language that is simultaneously rich and precise.

Sometimes I wonder about my own voice. I deliberately strive for variety in my work. Sometimes I write in first person, sometimes in third. Although the majority of my characters are well educated (many excessively so!), I've tried my hand at writing people from lower social levels--a city stripper with a high school education, an immigrant from the Dominican Republic, a Thai bar girl. Are there some common features in my writing that distinguish it from the work of other authors?

Well--I tend to spend a lot of my effort on my setting. I try to bring the time and place where my characters interact into strong focus. In fact, I normally have a less detailed visualization of the characters themselves than I do of their surroundings.

What else? I guess I'd have to say that my sex scenes are distinguished by an emphasis on the characters' emotional reactions, as opposed to their physical actions. In general, reviewers tend to praise those scenes as intense and engaging--but I'd guess that at least half my sentences describe what the characters think, feel and imagine, as opposed to what they do with or to each other.

I don't know. It's difficult, possibly impossible, to analyze one's own style. I do hope that what I write stands out from the crowd, from a stylistic perspective. Because I believe that I'm not the only reader for whom the manner of expression is as important as the matter.