IDAHOT Thoughts (#idahot #homophobia #lgbtqi)

I just don’t get it. Why should anyone else care who I love or have sex with, as long as my partner(s) are consenting adults? What is so scary about two men or two women kissing? About someone born with male genitalia who’s convinced she’s an anatomical mistake, that psychologically, emotionally or spiritually she’s a woman? Why do some people feel threatened by the fact that I’m personally attracted to both men and women?

I mean, how does it affect them? In what sense is it any of their business, as long as I’m not acting indecently in public, or trying to convert them to my point of view? They feel perfectly justified trying to convert me, of course, or at least the many LGBTQI youths who are dragged into conversion “therapy” in an attempt to turn them into “normal” individuals. Isn’t that supremely hypocritical?

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, marked around the world since 2004 as a day to raise awareness regarding sexual minorities. The date was chosen to commemorate the World Health Organization’s decision, in 1990, to stop classifying homosexuality as a disease.

In some ways, and some places, things have improved for LGBTQI folk. It’s easy to believe that we’re gaining ground in the fight for acceptance and equality. Then you hear about what’s going on in Chechyna, and you realize the battle has just begun.

Why should we have to fight in the first place? Where does all the fear and the hate come from? Is it a natural consequence of being confronted by the unfamiliar, the classic fear of the unknown?

Maybe that very human reaction accounts for some of the hostility. However, mostly I blame institutions and organizations for deliberately fostering antagonism toward sexual minorities. Religious groups, social movements and governments use fear to extend their control over their members. Demonizing out-groups is a classic tactic to increase loyalty and commitment to the in-group.

That suggests two ways to counter homophobia. First, unmask the inhumane tactics of the organizations who benefit from the fear and the hostility. Help their members see the self-serving nature of their hate-mongering tactics.

Second, incorporate sexual minorities into the in-group. Straight people need to see that LGBTQI folk are just people—more similar to them than different. Ultimately, everyone has the same needs, for security, for respect, for love, for family, for connection. Dividing up humankind based on sexual or gender orientation makes very little sense.

I try to do my part in my writing. I have gay, lesbian and bisexual characters in my books. I work hard to show that their sexual orientation does not define who they are. Like you—any of you who are reading this—they are just people.

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