By
Anita Philmar (Guest Blogger)
Looking for the secret to a happy marriage? Here are some suggestions from my experience!
Share a common dream – when two people joined together to reach a unified goal. It connects them in ways that inspires trust. This can be as simple as planning a vacation or deciding on a new car, or as big as having a family.
The
thought didn’t inspire warmth. Instead, she lifted her gun. “My
husband was a gun-slinging gambler. He didn’t have the most
reputable friends.”
Anita
Philmar likes to create stories that push the limit. A writer by day
and a dreamer by night she wants her readers to see the world in a
new way.
Looking for the secret to a happy marriage? Here are some suggestions from my experience!
Share a common dream – when two people joined together to reach a unified goal. It connects them in ways that inspires trust. This can be as simple as planning a vacation or deciding on a new car, or as big as having a family.
Choose
each other as your first family – once two people get married
they both need to remember that the other person should now become
their main concern. This is not to say you avoid his or her family
but that you need time alone together.
Learn
how to fight right – It can be easy to take your stress out on
your spouse. Try to recognize those times when you are not at your
best, then warn your partner you need time to regroup before
discussing certain subjects.
Find
a balance between time for two and time for you – Just because
you are now with someone doesn’t mean you can’t have time for
yourself. Each of you came into the relationship with interest that
attracted the other. You still need that creative outlet to fuel your
soul. Give yourself the time for yourself so you can be the person
your spouse fell in love with.
Build
a best friendship – if the two of you can become best friends
then you’ll be closer to achieve the relationship you both want and
can face down the major challenge in your life together.
When
writing my books I try to take these things into account. In Hot
Prairie Nights, the couple come together to run Elizabeth Murphy’s
ranch, but there is so much more involved than just a common goal.
It’s
a hard life living on the western plains. Elizabeth Murphy knows she
lives it every day.
Then
just like some medieval knight in shining armor, a stranger arrives
at her door. He claims to be a friend, who is down on his luck and
looking for work.
Just
looking at him sets her body on fire, and with them sharing a small
log cabin, the nights are bound to heat up. Can she resist the chance
to take a ride with the cowboy? Or should she trust him at all?
After
all, he thinks wearing a shirt is an optional item and he knows way
too many facts about her dead gun slinging husband.
Excerpt
A
slight smirk passed over the man’s lips. He nodded. “Yes, but I
knew him as a child back in Oklahoma. Heath Holmes is the name. I’m
sure Daniel mentioned me once or twice.”
The
name did sound familiar. What had Daniel said about Heath?
She
licked her lips and fought the hunger to see this man’s strong
muscular body naked and up close. She stared at his mount to gather
more information. His black horse had the markings of a thoroughbred.
The detail design of his saddle, and the rich quality of the man’s
clothes spoke of someone who had money. So why visit her here?
“I
recall the name, but Daniel didn’t particularly enjoy his
childhood. His mother didn’t provide him with a great upbringing.”
Lizzy lowered her gun to her waist but kept the barrel pointed at
Heath. Could she trust him?
“True,
at times he would have starved, if not for my family, but then with
six mouths to feed, what was one more?” Heath swung his leg over
the saddle and stepped down from his horse, and turned.
Lizzie’s
mouth watered and her palms slipped on the gun. She rested the butt
of her rifle on the porch railing for fear of firing it off
accidentally. Thoughts of what Daniel has said about his youth warred
with her desire to get to know Heath better. Her gaze slid down his
six foot frame, broad shoulders, full chest, trim waist, and thick
thighs. Nothing about him seemed to hint at him not being able to
take on any task.
“Right,
Daniel did mention his mother’s love of whiskey and how your family
was his saving grace.” Lizzy waved him over to the barn. “Why
don’t you unsaddle your horse and put him in the corral? There’s
a pump next to the water trough if you want to clean up and stay a
spell?”
Pick
up Hot Prairie Nights for free, everywhere
About
Anita
Influenced
by sci-fi programs, she likes to develop places where anything can
happen and where erotic moments come to life in a great read.
Naughty
or Nice?
Read
her books and decide.
Website:
http://www.anitaphilmar.com/
Email:
anitaphilmar [at] yahoo [dot] com
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/anitaphilmar
Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/anitaphilmar
5 comments:
Welcome to Beyond Romance, Anita.
Having been married for 33 years now, I definitely agree with your suggestions. My husband and I made a pact early in our relationship, that being together was important and that we wouldn't make choices (e.g. taking jobs at a distance from one another) that would require us to spend a lot of time apart.
Maybe the most important thing, though - have fun with one another. Keep the light touch, a bit of humor, a hint of childhood. That will get you through hard times.
Good luck with Hot Prairie Nights, by the way. I've got to go announce it to my readers.
Hi Anita:
Like your suggestions. I'd add one more: find a way to keep the romance alive. For all their blessing children kill intimacy. We've never had the back-up or the money to do getaways. Our sex life together is stolen moments in the dark and under the covers, but we've stayed connected. The idea of all this BDSM stuff that Lisabet features is like visiting another planet for me.
Best wishes
Great post and I liked the excerpt.
I agree with all those tips! Next week will be our 9 year anniversary. I agree with the young kids and no money, you make those times to sneak in those moments. Thanks for sharing!
Great post and I liked the excerpt.
I agree with all those tips! Next week will be our 9 year anniversary. I agree with the young kids and no money, you make those times to sneak in those moments. Thanks for sharing!
31 years here and counting. When our kids were young, we'd put them to bed, then it was "playtime." We made videos, complete with plots my husband wrote for us to act out. We pretended to be at a sex club, and acted as if we were different people. We had lots of fun, and it didn't matter that the babies were sleeping right upstairs, since they were all sound sleepers. Plus I booked us suites at the local Sybarris hotel (an upscale no-tell motel chain in the Midwest) so many years in a row (they offer "afternoon nap rates) that I have a lifetime membership card! ;-D
Being best friends is a huge plus. Having compatible goals and dreams is important also, but so is being compatible in bed. No lie, sex is important to a great marriage.
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