The Naughtiest Thing

What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?

That's a favorite question people ask in interviews with erotic authors. I guess they figure that, given the steamy stuff we write, we must have had some extremely naughty experiences to serve as inspiration.

In my case, this is to some extent true.

Certainly, I could nominate a number of candidate scenarios. I've been fortunate, and brave (or perhaps foolhardy) enough to have engaged in a variety of outrageous behaviors during my wild years as a single woman (and a few since, too). It's difficult, though, to assign the superlative.

Was it making love on the floor of a church? My boyfriend and I were in a sleeping bag, true, but we were surrounded by a hundred other people. The church had opened its doors to some of the thousands of travelers who arrived in New Orleans to celebrate Mardi Gras but who didn't have a place to crash. The funny thing was, I don't remember even thinking about the others around us until afterward. So I guess that wasn't really all that naughty - the public nature of the situation didn't add to the spice, I just needed my lover.

How about having sex in the seat of a Greyhound bus? Same guy. We were students, and very much in love. Translate: we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We seized our opportunities where we could.

I've been fingered to orgasm in the parking lot of an airport. How does that rate on the naughtiness scale. I gave my boyfriend head on the battlements of a historic castle. What about that? (Same boyfriend as the church and the bus. I guess maybe we did have a thing about public sex, though he was as wholesome as the midwestern town he hailed from!)

There was the ménage with my husband and one of his oldest male friends. Now that was hot! I lusted after L. from the moment K. introduced us. The reality was at least as good as the fantasy. Not to mention the threesome we had with one of my oldest female friends. And the sex club. Can't forget that. Actually, my husband and I have visited Le Trapeze a number of times. I have to admit that felt pretty naughty, especially with my hands on another woman's breasts and her boyfriend crouched between my legs...

But maybe group sex has lost its shock appeal. With the number of ménage and more books coming out, perhaps it's viewed as old hat. So what about BDSM? I've been tied up, blind-folded, spanked, and whipped. I think the most extreme thing I've done in this realm, though, was to buy my own riding crop and give it to my master to use on me. He didn't instruct me to do this; it was my own notion. I found a store that sold actual equestrian supplies. I'll never forget how embarrassed and aroused I was, going in, surveying the crops available, and finally choosing and purchasing one. It was far more humiliating, and exciting, than going into a sex toy store (which I've certainly done) because only I knew (I hope!) what my plans were for the crop. For me, at least, the act of admitting to my master that I enjoyed kinky behavior, that I actually wanted to feel the leather slashing my flesh, is at least as hot as the actual act.

Like my tag line says, imagination is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

As I reviewed my past exploits (a most enjoyable occupation!), I realized that the most transgressive act in my life was actually writing my first book, Raw Silk. The novel, a tale of one woman's odyssey to discover her sexual self and her true love, was a compendium of all my favorite erotic fantasies. Romance purists might not like it, because it features multiple partners and F/F sex, as well as sex in a variety of public places (a boat; a restaurant; a garden; historic ruins...), bondage, discipline, anal sex, M/M sex, sex with fruit, sex with vegetables, sex with furniture... The book climaxes in a scene where Kate's three lovers all compete to see who can give her the most pleasure. That's pretty naughty, I guess... 

But what's really naughty, in retrospect, is the fact that I exposed all my lascivious dreams for anyone to read. Like most authors, I wrote my first book fueled by personal passion. It shows. I'm a far better writer, now, from a craft perspective, but Raw Silk might well be the hottest book I've written, because it draws so deeply on my own erotic impulses. In writing the book, I unmasked myself.

So now I want to know - if you dare to tell me - what's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?