By
Callie Gold (Guest Blogger)
Hi
girlfriend!
So
today I’m going to bitch about one of the most common, and hated,
descriptions in an erotica book, ever. It goes like this:
(male:)
Thrust, thrust, thrust.
(female:)
screaming orgasm.
That’s
it. Essentially, it’s a sex act that includes a very short session
of thrusts of penis into vagina, immediately followed by an orgasm.
No other stimulation. Perhaps kissing.
I
call it 3TO. 3 Thrusts to Orgasm.
Ladies,
the 3TO is slightly more imaginary than R2D2 or C3PO.
So
now I get to discuss why I hate it so much. If you agree – write to
me. If you disagree – write to me. If you hate me – go write your
own blog.
Firstly
– 3TO makes for very dull reading. Hello! I paid money for this
book. I bought arousal potential and entertainment. Do you want to
entertain me? Arouse me? 3TO is not the way to go about it.
Secondly
– I can’t relate to 3TO. It doesn’t happen to me. Or to MOST of
the women on this planet. Let’s talk about that for a bit.
Scientists
have concluded that 75% of us women cannot come from stimulation to
our vaginas alone. An additional 10% of us don’t have orgasms at
all. That leaves 15% that come from penetration. So, obviously, the
vast majority of us will read a 3TO scenario and won’t know what
the hell that feels like. Much worse – we might feel inadequate
reading it.
Once
upon a time we were told that we should orgasm from penetration,
missionary style. And good old Sigmund Freud (whose theories have
been disproved for the most part), said that our frustrated sexual
energy (due to our expectations to have orgasms from penetration) is
– get this: Hysteria. Frustrated women not getting any orgasms from
sex and prohibited from masturbating were called mentally ill. Way to
go, Sigmund!
Then
we were told that we have a clitoris and that we should get to know
it so we can have orgasms. Great! We’re not psychos!
Then,
research discovered that 75% of us, that’s three quarters, cannot
come from penetration. Impossible. Like having an orgasm from rubbing
the palm of our hand. Then we were told about the female g-spot, but
later studies showed they haven’t found proof that it even exists.
Then, finally, Hallelujah, men were told that they have to stimulate
us to orgasm so we can enjoy ourselves just as much as they do.
And
now, some scientists are saying that vaginal orgasms don’t exist at
all, because it’s a clitoral orgasm reached from the inside. What
the f***?
So
let’s summarize: vaginal penetration is something that most of us
can’t do.
So
now the question returns to our erotica: Should we use it as reading
/ fantasy material?
I
say, the hell we should. Here’s why:
First
reason: if we don’t know what 3TO feels like, how can we fantasize
about it?
Second
reason: If 3TO is not how we orgasm, it won’t be arousing in a
book. It won’t be as hot as it can be. If Hot Guy Brad was to rub
Tiffany’s left palm, would she be screaming, “Oh, Oh, God, Here I
Come!”? Yeah, right.
Third
reason: since our erotic book is mostly about the guy, and since we
want our fantasy Hot Guy to do it to us just the right way, he
shouldn’t do 3TO more than once in a trilogy, maybe. He’s hot
because he knows how to make our bodies jump with joy.
So
let’s get rid of like, 90% of 3TO. Wouldn’t that be nice?
And
then there’s also the aspect of harm to the young reader. If you
are very young, my dear, and inexperienced, you may be misled by what
you read. You might end up thinking that if you can’t come from
penetration, well, then there must be something wrong with your body.
And that’s a real shame.
There’s
a whole other discussion here, about women tolerating the
male-centrist point of view of 3TO, thus fitting into the male need
of coming the same way they do. But I won’t go into that because
we’re talking about fantasies, not politics. And also I’m not at
my bitchiest today.
So
here’s what I suggest:
Push
that 3TO out of your vocabulary. Just say no to 3TO.
Tell
your writer that 3TO should NOT be part of the smorgasbord of your
erotic reading. Demand variety, diversity, imagination, kink,
anything and everything, and leave maybe, 10% for the 3TO.
Wouldn’t
that make our erotica so much better?
Write
to me, girlfriend, tell me anything that pops into your mind. Talk to
me!
Lots
of love,
Callie
Ash’s
Fire by Callie
Gold
Smart
and successful Attorney Jordan Cohen didn’t expect Sam, her husband
and best friend, to invoke their old pact for non-exclusivity. But
after twenty-some years together, he did.
A
chance meeting with Ari Ash, the tall-dark-and-yummy internationally
renowned concert pianist, sends Jordan into his arms. Ari’s
mysterious ways and magical lovemaking pull the conflicted Jordan
into a whirlwind affair.
When
Ari is implicated in an execution-style murder, she wants to believe
Ari is innocent, but one troubling fact after another keeps popping
up. Jordan turns to the only man she can trust with her lover’s
life – her brilliant criminal defense attorney husband.
Is
Ari a killer?
When
Ari is charged, Jordan fears the worst: a life sentence for her
lover, exposure of her affair and the ruin of her law firm and
irreparable damage to her husband’s reputation. But she can’t let
go of Ari’s love…
With
the trial just days ahead, Jordan races to save her lover, her
husband and herself.
Desire,
suspicion, love and loyalty all clash in the fast-paced Mediterranean
city of Tel-Aviv.
Excerpt
“Are
you okay?” she asked, reigning in her instant desire for him,
feeling the burden of the empty shelves in the empty apartment.
“Keeping
busy,” he texted.
“How
was your rehearsal?”
“Better
than yesterday,” Ari wrote.
“That’s
great,” she wrote back, and added another smiley. “I miss you.”
“Me
too,” he wrote. “I think of your hands caressing me.”
“Lots
of caressing waiting for you when you come back.” Ari knows how to
cheer himself up, she thought, focus on the positive, on what he was
doing, on the good things to come. And then she added, “I miss your
hands, too.” She imagined his hands, big and strong and sensuous,
more knowing than any that had ever touched her. She thought of his
long menu of touches, from fluttering butterflies that landed and
danced, to hungry lions, that pounced and devoured. From ticklish
caterpillars that wriggled slowly, to finicky kittens that bumped
exuberantly. His hands told innumerable stories, took her body on
imaginary voyages. His hands knew how to fill her with fantasy, with
excitement.
“Where
exactly do you miss them?” he asked.
“It’s
a very long list.” she answered, a smile pulling her cheeks up, her
skin tingling. Jordan felt his hands on her face, caressing her
gently, reaching into her hair, and then behind her neck, holding her
head, nestling it. Ari’s hands knew how to sooth her pain, give her
patience to wait for his return. She felt his hands waking her body,
exciting it, make her blood heat and run faster in her veins.
“I’m
looking at your beautiful face now,” he wrote back, “I want you
to do the same.”
“Got
it,” she smiled. “You XL piece of sweet caramel candy, you!”
she said. “I wish I could be there to help you with the shelves.”
“Me,
too. You can hold, while I drill. Give me a hand?”
Ash’s
Fire is on sale for 99 cents at Amazon, for the duration of Callie's tour.
About
Callie
Callie
Gold is
an Israeli
married to
an
American.
She admits
that
marrying
her husband
was the
smartest
decision
she has
ever made
in her
entire
life. Together
they have
raised
three
beautiful
children.
Callie
is a lawyer, and a Jew, and what’s worse – an Israeli. That means
that she’s an in-your-face kinda gal. There is no Hebrew word for
‘subtle’. Callie’s husband says that she has too many opinions,
and he’s right. But she’s also open and friendly and very
curious, and is known to start intimate conversations with the
Falafel guy.
Since
she stopped litigating, Callie’s husband says she’s become a much
nicer person (Callie’s husband is almost always right, which makes
living with him really good and seriously annoying, all at the same
time).
When
she’s not writing, Callie does divorce mediation and marriage
counseling, which, she believes will save her a good seat in that
place up there. She also cooks and bakes and you will always find
home-baked bread in her freezer, next to the chocolate gelato that
her husband makes.
Callie
writes because writing creates another life for her, a life in which
she can do whatever she wants. In order to write she has become a
time thief.
Above
all, Callie is a lover of people and she can never get enough of
human interaction. So feel free to start up a conversation with her!
https://www.facebook.com/Calliegold.Israel
Use
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