About
the Book
A Splendidly Smutty Dictionary of Sex
explores the role of sex from the Etruscans to the modern day. Taking
the form of a dictionary, it traverses the many forms of “hanky
panky” in literature, music, words and the actions of the famous
and not so famous.
Did
you know that women never wore knickers until the late 18th
century? That Cleopatra reputedly invented the first vibrator? The
rather odd history of the condom? What it means to give someone a
green gown—and who was the first person to join the mile-high club?
Within
this paean to the world’s favourite pastime, you will discover the
“perils of self-pollution”, why Popes had to have their scrotums
felt, what Buckinger’s boot and Omar the tent maker are, the
whereabouts of John Dillinger’s dong and Rasputin’s rump
splitter. What “to arrive at the end of a sentimental journey”
means, how to restore your virginity, Medieval sex tips, the woman
who had 130 orgasms in an hour, and what on earth the armadillo’s
got to do with the missionary position.
The
book covers an array of historical characters and their sex lives —
from Chaucer to Wallis Simpson, from Rockefeller to a future king of
England. Together with the definitive histories of vibrators,
the merkin and the word “fuck” amongst others, A
Splendidly Smutty Dictionary of Sex
is perhaps one of the most unusual books of the year!
Introduction
There
have been countless books on the world’s favorite pastime.
Indeed,
if you Google sex books, you will find over 150 million results!
These
books range from the biology and anatomy of sex, to how-to-do-it
books. They range from the scholarly to the irreverent, and some with
really rubbish pictures in them and some without.
But,
there seems to be a glaring omission. No one has yet compiled a
tongue-in-cheek dictionary of the words, thoughts and some of the
very strange deeds associated with it.
But
where would you start? Well, quite obviously, at the beginning.
Consider
the prehistoric man, not only trying to contend with the Ice Age,
living in a damp cave with no sports channels, very little food and
with big scary animals trying to eat him. You would safely assume the
last thing on his mind was sex.
Apparently
not.
In
between avoiding sabre toothed tigers and other hairy things that
bite, he would spend some of his time carving things known as Venus
figurines. These were Prehistoric Barbie dolls with huge breasts and
with massive Kim Kardashian-like asses. These figurines, of which
hundreds have survived, appear to have had no practical use
whatsoever, other than be a sort of Stone-Age version of Playboy.
Much,
much later, when the ancient Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum
were first being excavated, red-faced Victorian archaeologists with
silly beards had to take continuous cold showers on discovering a
treasure trove of erotic tableaux and other wonderfully smutty
things.
So,
despite our view that all previous generations were old-fashioned,
prim and inhibited (well some were), the fact is that we as human
beings have always been obsessed by sex. Wars won and lost because of
it, people made rich by it and reputations ruined by it.
So
join me if you will, on an alphabetical journey down the highways and
byways of the world’s most popular pastime, discovering along the
way such important nuggets as: life changing sexual advice from the
Middle Ages, the somewhat disturbing history of the vibrator, the
rather strange sex life of a future King of England and, most
importantly of all, what on earth have armadillos got to do with the
missionary position?
A
for Aphrodisiac Users
Advice
on starting your engine from the famous and infamous through the
ages.
Aristotle
(384 – 322 BC), Greek philosopher:
When
not sitting still and philosophising, he would recommend the use of
oil of peppermint to stimulate sexual desire. To reduce the libido,
he also suggested walking long distances through the hills barefoot.
Pliny
(23 – 79AD), Roman naturalist and author:
He
came up with this rather obvious suggestion that in order to fan the
flames of lust: Why not to eat a hyena’s eye with a dash of dill?
Niccolo
Machiavelli (1469 – 1527),
Italian statesman:
Whilst
taking a break from plotting, he swore by the aphrodisiac powers of
the mandrake plant. He even wrote a not particularly amusing comedy,
La
Mandragola
(1524),
in its honor.
Giovanni
Casanova (1725 – 1798),
Italian libertine:
The
patron saint of shagging attributed much of his spectacular sexual
energy to the fact that he always ate 50 oysters for breakfast every
morning.
Captain
James Cook (1728 – 1779), English explorer:
Before
being killed by angry Hawaiians, Cook feasted every morning on a
special, aphrodisiac dish of fresh shrimp. He often boasted that he
could take on ten native girls a day. Perhaps that was the reason for
the angry Hawaiians.
Madame
Du Barry (1743 – 1793),
Mistress of Louis XV:
She
tried to keep Louis XV in her thrall by feeding him foods that would
make him weak with lust: sweetbreads, venison, pheasant cooked in
white wine, truffles, capon in sherry broth, to name just a few.
Mae
West (1892 – 1980),
Actress:
The
legendary sex queen recommended eating almonds to increase one’s
sex drive.
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About
the Author
2 comments:
What an interesting trek through history! I don't know how much of this is accurate but it was fun to read nonetheless. If you travel through south Florida's Gulf coast, you'll see oysters touted as Nature's Aphrodisiac. The one about Capt. Smith's shrimp diet was a new one, as was Ms. West's almond prescription. Thank you for sharing.
Hi, Tim - Actually, this author did a huge amount of research. The book includes a list of all the sources.
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