Elegant Smut Writing 101

By Nora Snowdon (Guest Blogger)

Thanks for having me on your blog, Lisabet. As the Writer of Elegant Smut, there are a few misconceptions about my craft that I’d like to clear up. Writing straight smut is not just continually describing heaving bosoms and throbbing manhoods (love guns? joy sticks? turgid rods o’steel?) in sweaty action.

Hell no!

We also have to write the part where the nerdy pizza delivery guy walks up to the front door accompanied by cheesy 1970’s jazz music. The door is then opened by a heavily made-up babe with over-inflated boobs. (Note, if you’re ever on a sinking ship, stand next to this woman. I bet those things are great flotation devices! But I digress…)

The point is, you need context for your smut. And if you are writing Elegant Smut (i.e. romance) you need to include even more details not actually related to the boink-fests. A plot, for example, is often considered important in romance. And with plot comes characterization. Who are these star-crossed lovers and what exactly is crossing their stars?

If you’re writing a 75,000 word novel, you’d better have a pretty good conflict tearing the two lusty protagonists apart. Otherwise those wily orgasm-fueled stud/studettes will just keep sneaking back for more sex, then regretting it and breaking apart again. And that’s just bloody annoying. Having them split up because she was betrayed in an earlier relationship and now doesn’t believe in love is waaay too feeble. Or if someone tells him a lie about his new love and he believes it and dumps her without finding out the truth, well then that hero just isn’t worthy of romantic love in the first place.

Romance readers are also a bloodthirsty lot. They want their heroes and heroines to suffer mightily before overcoming great obstacles to actually earn their happily ever after. Honest. Go to any romance writer conference and you’ll find a multitude of workshops on upping the conflict in your novels. Also talks by police officers, coroners, and other emergency personnel on how to make horrendous scenarios even worse and more realistic.

I believe the problem is that we write our heroes to be such fabulous catches that we figure only someone equally as brave and resourceful should get to have them. No hopeless wallflower for our Superman. Nosirreebob! (Well unless she delves deep to find her inner Wonder Woman.) And then if you write an amazing heroine, the hero has to up his game too. (Note, for these characters to resonate, they should be realistic people like the reader and then, after being tested by adversity, become the best that they can be, hence worthy of the Greatest Love Ever. As, of course, all us readers would be if only we had such ferocious dragons/demons/serial killers to slay.)

But it’s important that we don’t lose the main point of having such virile, virtuous and vivacious characters in our romance books. It’s because we want to imagine having endless and mind-blowing sex with these fabulous people ourselves. Romance rarely touches upon S.T.D.s and erectile dysfunction because unfortunately they are way too prevalent in real life. In our fantasies we’re still looking for Erica Jong’s infamous zipless f—k. (And wow! That’s dating myself…) As readers, we want to be caught up in the raging desire, not the messy reality. As writers, we need to make that over the top passion seem plausible. And just so you know, in real life, nerdy pizza delivery guys don’t really get that much unexpected action on the job. Just sayin’…

Please feel free to leave a comment regarding either what you look for in your smut books or if you have any other great euphemisms for sexy man bits, and one commenter (who leaves their e-mail address) will be drawn to win a copy of my new short story, My Hero. This story is about a fabulous Writer of Elegant Smut who pursues the male model from her book cover. (Hint, things do not go well for our heroine.)

Excerpt from The French Resolution

Antoine kissed her. Then he grabbed the wine and the food and headed to the living room. “Have a seat. Eat. Then we will discuss the next few days.”

She appeared nervous at the proposition, so he popped a cracker with Camembert into her mouth. 
 

“D’accord. We will discuss it now. I think you should stay here with me for the next few days. I realize that if your father should come back, I will have to return you, but I do not think the butler is a good enough excuse. Tomorrow is Monday. I will have to do some business but not for long. I will be in meetings on Wednesday, so you may use that day to see old friends. I am willing to negotiate days off for good behavior, but not nights. Is this acceptable?” Antoine stared into her blue-gray eyes, willing her to agree. She paused long enough to worry him.

“Does this agreement include food? Because for a short person, I eat a lot.”

***

To read the first chapters and perhaps buy Nora Snowdon’s published books on Amazon.com, please go to http://amzn.to/1lWYWIo

To read more about Nora Snowdon and check out her blog, try www.norasnowdon.com

And you can follow her on twitter @norasnowdon and facebook Nora Snowdon

Nora Snowdon’s Official Bio (accept no others)

 

Living in New York and Toronto, Nora Snowdon was a jerk of all trades—one week hawking toys at major toy conventions, the next in a high end jewelry store pandering to the rich. She worked in the financial market, gambling dens, environmental protection, food service industry and sold shoes. During these years she also either appeared in or directed over twenty five plays.

Then Nora moved to the wet coast, took up health foods (dark chocolate and red wine) and became a Writer of Elegant Smut. She currently has five books available, published by Crimson Romance and Rebel Ink Press. Her ambition is to become a crazy cat lady and wine hoarder, not necessarily in that order.