By Teresa Noelle Roberts (Guest Blogger)
Maybe you’ve
caught some of the buzz
recently about romance novels and feminism.
My most recent release, Knowing the Ropes, was used as an
example
in this ongoing discussion, and I’m proud of that. I’ve read a
lot of romances over the years, and I have to agree that some of them
are problematic from a feminist point of view. I’m not talking
about the dubious consent fantasies I see played out in some of them.
Sexual fantasies aren’t always politically correct. Hell, sex
itself isn’t necessarily politically correct. And that’s fine.
The way I see it, as long as everyone involved is of age and
consenting to the activities, have fun—even if they involve pain,
power play, humiliation, age-play, consensual non-consent or other
practices that make many people uncomfortable. Even if they involve
clown suits or the end products of digestion, which make me
uncomfortable, and I’m pretty damn open-minded when it comes to
sex.
The key word is
consent. My emphasis on informed consent in Knowing the
Ropes is probably why it was used in talking about BDSM and
feminism in romance novels. My heroine, Selene, is a domestic
violence counselor who happens to be kinky. She’s working to
reconcile her sexuality with her professional passion, and consent
proves to be the answer to that dilemma. Nick, the hero, is a dom I
created after reading a few too many fictional doms (and alpha male
heroes who were almost pathologically dominant, if not strictly
speaking practicing BDSM or D/s) who blurred the line of consent*
with abandon that can be hot in fiction, but would be dangerous, not
to mention illegal, in real life. In contrast, I wanted Nick to be
the kind of dominant partner I’d want a younger, less experienced
friend to meet. A good human being who happens to be kinky. A dom who
talks things through when necessary, who knows the difference between
hurt and harm, and who understands that informed consent is critical
to kink. In contrast, Nick’s ex Natalie finds herself with a dom
who pushes her far beyond her limits (which are basically “don’t
do anything likely to kill me”—she’s an extreme player) and
beyond the bounds of harm. I think of consent as basic human decency.
It shouldn’t have to be a feminist issue, just something
that sane people take for granted as a base line for sexual
interactions.
The fact that it
needs to be an issue is part of why I’m a feminist.
Who writes erotica
and romance, much of it kinky.
Teresa Noelle
Roberts writes erotica and romance—“doing what comes
(super)naturally.” She loves slightly writing more than gardening,
but can’t survive without either. Learn more at
www.teresanoelleroberts.com
or follow her on Twitter, where she’s @TeresNoeRoberts
Knowing the
Ropes
Selene has harbored
kinky, submissive fantasies most of her life, but her experience as a
domestic abuse counselor leaves her leery of giving up that much
control. Case in point: the ex-fiancé she didn’t love quite enough
to test the limits of trust.
At a BDSM meet and
greet, she sets out to learn how far is too far. Nick seems like the
ideal dom to show her the ins and outs of ropes, floggers, and
paddles—with no commitment clause.
After losing a sub
he loved too much, Selene’s country girl common sense and smoking
sensuality is like a dream that Nick never dared to have—a perfect
blend of kink and long-term domestic bliss.
Yet it’s tough to
figure out just how far they can push their limits when they’ve
both agreed to a no-strings affair. Especially when an ex needs
Nick’s muscle and Selene’s newly discovered skills to get out of
a dangerous situation. And it may be too late for love to survive all
the things they’re afraid to say.
Warning: Sexy,
kinky, geeky dominant guy. Smart submissive woman. Crazy ex. A little
experimentation between girlfriends. And lots and lots of kinky sex.
Buy links:
Samhain:
http://bit.ly/VAyjd8
Amazon:
http://amzn.to/Zi02F1
Barnes and Noble:
http://bit.ly/RvCvwO
Kobo:
http://bit.ly/X9ju1f
Excerpt
Mesmerized,
Selene reached around and started to unzip her dress. He reached
behind her, caught her wrists. “Oh, I’m glad you’re as eager as
I am, but we need to talk a little more—with our clothes on. Things
we should have talked about before, really, but dammit, woman, you
make it hard to think.” Another devouring kiss, and then he steered
her toward the couch.
“Pull
up your skirt before you sit,” he added, almost as an afterthought.
“Being naked would distract us both too much—but a little
distraction will keep you honest.”
And
then he proceeded to ask her a series of no-holds-barred questions
that made her squirm on the leather couch in a combination of
embarrassment and lust.
After
they’d gone over her experiences (fairly varied in the
vanilla area, but limited in the kink department to light, playful
spankings and a few experiments with silk-scarf bondage) and the
things that were absolutely off-limits (she asked about his
absolutely nots as well and was relieved to hear they agreed on the
things they’d never, ever want to do), the subject turned to her
fantasies.
“What
draws you to BDSM?” he asked.
“I’m
not sure I can put it into words. There’s so much… It’s always
been part of my fantasies, ever since I was little and made my
brother’s GI Joe do unspecified evil things to my Barbie.”
That
cracked him up, but once he stopped laughing, he encouraged her to go
on.
“Part
of it is the idea of giving up control. The couple of times I’ve
been tied up were heavenly, even though the guy who did it to me was
probably a bigger sub than I am. He was just doing it so I’d tie
him up and have my wicked way with him the next night. I’d love to
be restrained more, more severely.” And how. She was getting wetter
simply talking about it, imagining Nick spread-eagling her on the bed
or putting her into some of the exotic rope-bondage positions she’d
drooled over while surfing the Net. “And I’d like to take that
further, to give up mental control once in a while, to put myself
into good hands and say, ‘You’re in charge now.’ To please you
if that’s what you want, or to take what you give me, your choice.”
“How
far are you willing to go with letting someone else make the
decisions for you? How about…erotic dares, maybe? Like would you
want to be told to have sex with someone else?”
“Maybe.
Depending on the circumstances. Especially if it’s a woman. I’ve
had my bi fantasies, and I’ve kissed women before. The idea turns
me on, but it never seemed like the right time go further than
kissing. So being ‘ordered’ to do it…might be hot, as long as
it was something she’d do anyway.” She grinned and felt herself
flushing.
“Consent’s
definitely key, even if we’re all pretending we’re forcing you.
How about erotic pain—my flogger or cane or paddle against your
skin, alternating with caresses? Because I know I’d love to redden
your ass before I bent you over and fucked you.”
The
words touched her core like skilled fingers. She squirmed, the
leather couch tantalizing on her ass, but she couldn’t form words
to answer.
“I
take it that’s a yes?”
3 comments:
Greetings, Teresa,
Welcome to Beyond Romance!
The question of consent is key in the BDSM that I write. In fact, I find being "forced" to admit one's interest in being topped to be one of the more erotic aspects of dominance and submission - much more interesting than being subjected to indignities you didn't ask for
Good luck with the book!
I'm in absolute agreement, Teresa on your points. I'm a feminist from the "good old days" (70's, not Seneca Falls) and kinky and an author of BDSM romance. I, too, have read too much of the kinky tales that cross too many lines, mostly, I suspect because the author wasn't kinky herself, or didn't do the requisite homework to know (for example, a Dom who tied his sub up and gagged her and left her that way - all night, alone, in the dark) the safe, sane, consentual and respectful rules. Your excerpt was exceedingly hot and I'm now off to fire up my nook and become a Teresa Noelle Roberts customer! Thanks for expressing your point so succinctly.
Thank you, Lise. I'll be looking for your books as well. Hope you enjoy my work.
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