By Leslie Langtry (Guest Blogger)
First
of all, thanks for having me, Lisabet! I’m thrilled to make the
acquaintance of your followers! In honor of the occasion, I’d love
to give away a signed paperback copy of the book I’m talking about
below – to two lucky readers!
Most
people are familiar with my Bombay Family of Assassins series,
starting with ‘Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy. All
the books I’ve written so far are in that series – a dark
comedy/romance/mystery kind of thing. So it surprised my fans when I
published The Adulterer’s Unofficial Guide to Family
Vacations, because, well, it was completely different.
First
off, it’s a naughty book. Sex scenes in my other books are, well,
tame. Really tame. Like ‘your fourteen year old daughter could
read it’ tame. But this book was totally different. There’s
sex, adultery, and more sex. Graphic sex. Sex that at least made me
blush when I wrote it. My mom’s best friend emailed me after she
read it, saying, “Your book really got my juices flowing.” My
mom emailed shortly with, “Your book really got Judy’s juices
flowing.” I could’ve lived without that.
Some
of my fans do NOT like this book. And I understand it. It’s not
what they are used to. So why did I publish it?
I
wrote it just before I wrote the book that sold to New York. It was
kind of a ‘what if’ scenario. About a year after 9/11, I read an
article that said Americans were flocking to find their first loves
online. Single people were scared and for comfort, they thought
they’d look for love in a place that existed before terrorists
attacked. They wanted something they knew and felt safe with.
Why
adultery? At the time, I had two close friends, who within a matter
of weeks, told me they were divorcing their husbands. I twisted that
and tried to look at it from a ‘no-fault’ adultery frame of mind.
My main characters – Laura and Alan – are in crumbling marriages
that probably died long before the family vacations they were
abandoned on.
AND
– I’m not much of a ‘follow-the-rules-type-of-writer.’ I get
in trouble for that occasionally. When I want to do something
different, I just do it.
Since
the book has come out, I’ve had some interesting reactions to it.
Some readers tell me they didn’t like it because they were the
victim of a cheating spouse. Others who’ve also been through that
had no problem with the book. It’s like some weird chimera of a
thing that I can’t identify.
The
Adulterer’s Unofficial Guide to Family Vacations is
something I published because…I wanted to. I loved writing it.
It’s the only one of my books I’ve re-read.
Someday
I will have to write another one. I think I might enjoy writing that
one even more.
Here’s
an excerpt – enjoy!
Chapter
1
Luggage
to the right of me.
Luggage
to the left of me.
Luggage
behind me.
Packed
and Bursting.
Too
much luggage, in fact.
Way
more than we needed.
I
sighed – something I did far too often these days.
So,
I opened all four bags up and started over.
This
was my ritual.
The
thing that kept me sane while I got ready for the family trip.
I
couldn’t wait.
This
vacation would be an antidote to my robotic life.
And
it kept my mind off, well, the other thing.
Mike
had missed dinner yet again.
In
fact, it was more normal than not for him to spend less than ten
minutes with us a day.
I
packed the first bag, then stopped to listen.
Jenny
and Ben were either asleep, or plotting a military junta.
But
silence is a rare commodity and should never be questioned.
So
I kept working.
After
two hours, I had it done.
Down
to three bags full of enough clothes for a family of four to have a
wonderful vacation at the greatest theme park in the world.
Unfortunately,
I still had to put away laundry, grade more essays, unload the
dishwasher, and so on.
My
list rarely changed from night to night.
Not
that it mattered, but I was a pro by this time.
And
it was worth it.
My
twin kindergartners were wonderful.
I
had my big dream house, a good, part-time teaching gig, and a . . .
well, a marriage to a . . . man.
You
noticed a few adjectives missing, didn’t you?
After
checking the driveway from my bedroom window for the twentieth time,
I ran a hot bubble bath and slipped into it.
I
suppose most women would consider me lucky.
After
all, I have the American dream, right?
Hmmm.
I
don’t feel so lucky.
I
soaked until my skin wrinkled, then got out, checked the driveway
again and climbed into bed with a novel.
Somewhere
along the line, I fell asleep.
And
I might note that it was the most exciting part of my day.
The
alarm went off and I found Mike, my husband, snoring beside me,
reaffirming that I was actually married to a living, breathing human
and not an imaginary friend.
I
sighed again and got up, dressed and roused the kids.
Mike
made a grand appearance at breakfast and the kids fell upon him like
he was a conquering hero.
I
had to give him credit, he looked great.
It
only took him half an hour to go from sleeping hulk to well-dressed
czar of advertising and all-around bastard.
He
tickled the kids, grabbed a banana and winked good-bye to me.
It
was the only evidence of my existence.
For
one brief, shining moment, my husband remembered me.
I
shouldn’t complain.
The
kids need him more.
And
I’m grateful they don’t feel sorry for the fact that they didn’t
see him much.
That’s
the great thing about children – their total and complete
self-absorption.
In
a few minutes, I’d drop them off at school and they too would
forget I existed.
I
was a ghost with my own mini-van.
Work
was a little better.
The
students only singled me out if they had trouble with an assignment,
and either I was such an amazing instructor that they didn’t need
help or such a boring one they didn’t really care.
I
was only teaching one class this semester.
Technically,
I was on sabbatical to finish my doctoral thesis, but the
administration asked me to teach one class, so like the doormat I’d
become, I agreed to keep working.
Jenny
and Ben’s mom-nesia ended every day at 3pm, when they came
squealing out of Rutherford B. Hayes Elementary.
The
drive home consisted of mostly filling each other in on their day.
I
just got to listen in.
Once
again, I thought how smart I was to insist they be put in separate
classes.
Of
course, I was the only one who congratulated me on this.
By
four o’clock, I’d gone through their backpacks, emptied their
lunchboxes, signed any permission slips, etc.
The
kids were outside on the swing set, laughing about our upcoming trip
to Florida.
They
probably didn’t realize how much it meant to me too.
I
wasn’t always like this.
In
fact, I’m kind of surprised I ended up this way.
I
used to think of myself as a live wire.
My
old friends used to say I was funny. Mike used to molest me every
minute he was in my presence.
I
was into the arts and haute couture (well, at least as far as
handbags and shoes are concerned).
Isn’t
it weird how things change?
Right
now, I can relate to those valium wives from the 1950’s.
***
Leave me a comment with your email address if you want to win your very own copy of the book!
And if you don't win, you can always buy yourself a copy:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Apple iTunes
Kobo
Smashwords
About Leslie
Leslie Langtry is the author of the Bombays Greatest Hits series, The Adulterer's Unofficial Guide to Family Vacations, and several books she hasn't finished yet, because she's very lazy.
Leslie loves puppies and cake (but she will not share her cake with puppies) and thinks praying mantids make everything better. She lives with her family and assorted animals in the Midwest, where she is currently working on her next book and trying to learn to play the ukulele.
Leslie Langtry was named 2011 Blogger of the Year by The Book Boost. Seriously...she has a trophy and everything.
Leslie's favorite color is orange and her favorite flavor is sugar.
Leslie also blogs regularly on the following sites:
www.killerfictionwriters.blogspot.com (every other Wednesday)
www.romancewritersrevenge.blogspot.com (last Friday of each month)
www.bookendbabes.com (reviews funny books you should read on first Thursday of each month)
www.girlfriendbooks.blogspot.com (every other month - totally randomly)
15 comments:
Thanks for the fun post! Adultery can be tricky subject matter for me - it's a huge turn-off for me when it raises my moral hackles too much, so I understand why some readers have trouble with this book. That said, I can enjoy it a lot when it's done well. I'm really intrigued by the thought experiment that started you off (wondering about the "no-fault adultery"), as well as your excellent title, and I love the humorous voice of this post. I also admire the courage it takes to write the book you really want to write, even if it's a departure. Great title, and thanks for the introduction to your work!
I really enjoyed the snippet. I love reading romances with humor in them. I'll be adding your books to my tbr stack.
How heroine sounds like just kicked her in the teeth. And grind her in the dirt so tragic.
rasco630@yahoo.com
Some marriages just end, that's the way it is. Looking at the demise with humor is the only way to get through it. Sounds like a great book, and I love your bio.
Thanks guys! I think all writing is 'What if...' and I love experimenting with different ideas! Writing is so subjective - you never know what will stick when you throw it against the wall.
Wow, a very fun post and excerpt. Thanks for sharing Leslie! You write and publish whatever you like, that's my motto.
If it helps, I got a similar call from my mother over my first erotic too! Except I'd gotten *her* juices flowing, not her friends! Who knew right? And it's a conversation I never wanted to have again with my own mother! Loved her dearly and deeply and credit her with my being a writer, but...
Yeah...it's was almost like walking in on my folks...having sex!
margaret taylor (at) satx (dot) rr (dot) come
I loved your excerpt. Thanks for it and the wonderful contest.
I don't think my mother would be embarrassed as she reads the same books as I do but I can see where some mothers may be. By the way, my mom is 83 years old.
orelukjp0 at gmail dot com
We never really know how our moms will react, do we? I wonder if that's a good thing? ;)
I love a funny book. Throw in some sex and W O W What a fun read.
S B slpetera@yahoo.com
I'm hooked! Loved the excerpt.
I can identify with the heroine a bit; I'm a teacher by day, and I'm taking a cruise in a few weeks.
My boys are embarrassed of my books, though they've never so much as read the back blurb.
The title got me- I bet their is going to be some funny stuff.This is a definite read.
suzyrph@charter.net
I just started reading "Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy," and love it. "The Adulterer's Guide..." sounds good, too. Love your sense of humor. Would love to win a copy, but I think I'm too late -- just saw this blog today.
nancygoldberglevine@aol.com
This sounds like a fun read.
JWIsley(at)aol(dot)com
Greetings, Leslie! Thanks for providing such a great post. I have to say that "'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy" has to be one of the great titles of all time. I love your bio, too!
And thanks to all the readers who've come by to meet Leslie. Good luck to you all in the drawing.
Oh my, I love books that touch on "taboo"subjects that often people don't want to talk about. This book sounds pretty amazing and I find that utterly hilarious that your moms friend said that about the book and then your mom told you. Way too funny!! And of course I love that you are a Midwesterner like me!! sbereza22(at)gmail(dot)com
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