How Big is Too Big?

By Daisy Harris (Guest Blogger)

First off, thank you so much, Lisabet, for hosting me today! I’m sure we’ll all have a blast.

I’m going to talk to you today about my new release, My Fair Dork.

My Fair Dork is the eighth book in my Men of Holsum College series. But since the beginning, I’ve nicknamed the story “Giant Dong of Doom.” The premise is simple: a dorky college freshman with a dick so big he’s embarrassed by it (Harold) is befriended by a handsome and popular hall mate (Owen) who wants to give him a make over. Hijinks, sex, and eventually love ensue.

But even though Owen and Harold have their issues to work out, the main conflict of the story is between Harold and his penis. Harold thinks it’s too big. He worries he’ll never be able to top during gay sex. He’s scared that potential sexual partners will be put off by his size, or let down when they learn they’re only going to be able to do certain activities with him comfortably. Basically, Harold is a giant ball of insecurity.

So, it’s a good thing Owen is laid back about pretty much everything. What’s more, Owen LOVES that Harold’s packin’. In fact, he loves it so much that he might be willing to let the whole campus know he likes boys.

In writing a story about a guy with a giant peen, I got one reaction again and again. That reaction was: “HONEY, there ain’t no such thing as too big!”

Gay, straight, it didn’t matter. Everyone’s first reaction to hearing about a giant shlong is “Yee-haw!”

Now, I understand this sentiment from a visceral perspective. There is something really impressive about a huge cock. They’re nice to look at, interesting to imagine. But, maybe it’s because of all the anatomy classes I’ve taken, but I do believe that a penis can be too big.

Here are some statistics:

• The length of the average penis is 5.88 inches
• A vagina is around 3-4 inches deep when unaroused
• The vagina expands to 5-7 inches deep during sexual arousal
• The anal canal is about 2 inches and the rectum 4.7 inches (6.7 inches total)
• Some sources say that a longer penis will just keep going into the colon

So, when they say a guy is 10 or (Egads!) 12 inches long, I always wonder—where’s he planning to put all that? Sure, I bet it looks good in the shower, but really! My lady parts are shivering, and not in anticipation.

But Owen is a much better man than I am. I’d probably run away screaming upon seeing Harold’s cock. Even though Harold is sweet and smart and just flat-out adorable, I am a girl with limits. But Owen’s perfectly willing to work around (and reach around!) the problem. He’s patient, easygoing, and a perfect match for Harold in every way.

And if Owen’s a little bit of a size queen, more power to him. Harold needs a guy exactly like that.

* * * * *

What do you think? Can a guy be too hung? And how big is too big? Share your thoughts and you might win one of my great blog tour prizes: a large-size dildo, a scented penis candle, as well as a $20 gift certificate to the winner’s choice of Barnes and Noble or Amazon.

Blurb

They say a guy can never be too hung. Well, Harold Jacobs doesn’t know who they are, but they’re wrong. Socially awkward for as long as he can remember, Harold feels his enormous package is just one more thing to be embarrassed about. Especially once hunky and popular

Owen McKenzie notices it in the showers.

Owen knows he’s bi, but he keeps that secret close to his chest. He likes Harold, and wants to help him shed his dorky image and maybe even find a boyfriend. Still, Owen can’t stop obsessing about Harold’s equipment. And much as he doesn’t want to flip-flop on his sexuality, Owen does want to test-drive what Harold has between his legs.

Their friendship erupts into full-blown lust. But can Owen accept the loss of his golden child status and be Harold’s boyfriend? And can Harold outgrow his insecurity in time to keep the man he loves?

Excerpt

 

“I was born in England. But I moved here when I was nine.” It had been too late to change Harold’s name to something more normal. But his mom seemed to think the move had been a good idea. She hated her ex-husband, Harold’s dad. And, apparently, she hadn’t been happy until there was an entire ocean between them.

“Wow. So you’re foreign? You don’t have an accent.” Owen sounded impressed, or maybe hopeful. Like Harold would pull out a smooth, James Bond burr and a tuxedo to match.

“I spoke with one when I first moved. But…” He shrugged. All the kids had made fun of how he talked when he started fourth grade. They thought he sounded posh. Some even said, “gay”. Harold didn’t know how an entire country—and all its former colonies—could be gay based on an accent. How would they make little baby Brits?

Of course, maybe the gay thing had bothered him more because at that age, he’d already realized he was.

“Too bad. Girls love a guy with an accent.”

Harold coughed, spraying a couple droplets of tea across his scone. He cleared his throat, trying to recover. “Don’t think we have to worry much about that.”

Owen paused his assault on his eggs and looked up. His blue bell eyes were wide and confused. “What? Why?”

It felt surprisingly good to know something Owen didn’t. But it was silly, really. Harold figured everyone knew. “I’m gay.”

“Oh.” Owen did a double take, and raked his eyes over Harold’s clothes once again.

Harold guessed that Owen had to re-arrange his opinion of Harold’s clothes now that he had to match them up with a different sexual preference.

“Wow. It’s worse than I thought.” Owen stabbed a sausage and bit off half.

“What?” Harold looked down at his shirt, wondering if he’d managed to spatter tea on himself during his sputtering. No. It was clean.

“Aren’t gay guys supposed to be all stylish and hip?” Owen smiled as he said it—making it sound like he was flirting, or at least teasing.

Harold frowned. “Of course. And we all have lisps, and tiny dogs we spoil.”

Owen’s forehead creased in the middle, as if he wasn’t sure whether Harold was joking. “Nah.” He ate the other half of his sausage, and then picked up another. “I know that’s not true.”

Good lord. Harold closed his eyes and pinched his lips together to stop himself from laughing. Owen was so…he didn’t even know how to describe it. It was an optimistic innocence Harold had heard about but never seen in real life. Maybe it was a Midwestern thing.

“This guy I knew from the football team, Tank, he’s gay. And he isn’t like that at all.” Owen thought about it for a moment, staring past Harold’s shoulder to look off into space. “Though I could see him with a dog.”

Harold wasn’t sure whether he was being serious or joking. But since Owen was so earnest most of the time, he guessed Tank guy was the kind to pamper a Chihuahua.

About the Author

Birkenstock-wearing glamour girl and mother of two by immaculate conception, Daisy Harris still isn't sure if she writes erotica. Her romances start out innocently enough. However, her characters behave like complete sluts. Much to Miss Harris's dismay the sex tends to get completely out of hand.

She writes about fantastical creatures and about young men getting their freak on, and she's never missed an episode of The Walking Dead

Links:

My website: www.thedaisyharris.com

Twitter: @thedaisyharris

Siren Page: http://www.bookstrand.com/daisy-harris

Book buy link: http://www.bookstrand.com/my-fair-dork