After years of struggle, I've finally learned that lesson.
I always envied the girls with long, straight hair. Alas, that just isn't me. I am fortunate (I know now) to have thick, curly, sometimes frizzy, hair that just doesn't want to be tamed. I spent my high school years ironing my locks (yes, that isn't just an urban myth), though my mom drew the line at chemical straighteners (thank goodness). It didn't help much. Somehow my hair always grew sideways as much as down!
But what about my head shot? Looks pretty straight there, doesn't it? Part of that is due to air brushing. (That picture was taken long before Photoshop existed!) Part was due to the fact that I was still recovering from anorexia, which caused a lot of my hair to fall out. So for a few years my hair wasn't quite as bushy.
Pretty soon, though, I was back to normal...
Anyway, in the last decade or so, I've run up the white flag. I now have my hair cut shoulder length or shorter, using techniques that enhance the curl. When I first come home from the salon, my head is a mass of ringlets. And I love it. It's easy to care for - I just wash it and let it air dry, and the curl reappears all on its own. I've finally found a hair style that's compatible with my natural endowment.
I think a lot of writers increase their stress level because they try to fight their natural tendencies. Some of my colleagues struggle to write explicit sex scenes because they believe that's what the market wants - but they really hate the process. They're not comfortable, but they force themselves, and lose the joy of the writing in the process. Then there are the authors who decide they must write BDSM, because that's what's hot, post-Fifty-Shades. Doesn't matter that they've never been spanked or bound, and never wanted to be - they feel compelled to write in that genre, usually with less than stellar results. I think this is misguided. Some people are naturally vanilla, I believe. There are plenty of readers who fall into that category too.
Then there's me. I'm polymorphous perverse, interested in sexuality in all its forms - gay, lesbian, menage, male dominant, female dominant, fetish, and lots of other niche interests that might shock you if I were to enumerate them. And I like to mix it all up in the same story, when I can.
But readers have told me they don't want M/F interaction in a M/M story. I've gotten some feedback that the majority of romance fans, at least, find F/F interactions "icky". If they find that icky - good Lord, how would they react to some of my more extreme fantasies?
Lately, though, I've decided that I'm not going to fight my nature. I'm going to give myself permission to follow the dictates of my imagination. If I turn some readers off - well, they'd probably be lukewarm about my more restrained pieces as well. My best stories are the ones where I explore what I find intriguing and arousing. And that's pretty varied.
So I've given myself permission to include some F/F interaction in my current WIP, even though it's intended for a romance audience and is primarily a M/F/M menage. After more than a dozen years writing and publishing, it's time for me to follow my natural inclinations.