Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Envy

By Marie Sexton (Guest Blogger)

Envy. We’ve all felt it from time to time. It’s not pretty, but it’s part of the human condition. We work so hard to achieve something, only to look around and see that others are somehow ahead of us, or getting greater rewards for their efforts. Well, folks, I’m here today to make a huge confession. I’m envious of my good friend Heidi Cullinan, and of our fellow authors Christopher Koehler and KA Mitchell.

Why do I envy them? Well, you probably think I’m going to say it’s because of their fantastic writing skills, or their sales, or their fabulous reviews. I could envy them all for those things too, but no. What I really envy is…

Their phones.

That’s right. I admit it: I have smartphone envy. Show of hands, who has a smartphone? I envy you all. I envy you your instant access and your fun little apps. So, you may ask, if I want one so much, why don’t I have a smartphone?

Because I’m cheap.

It’s not the price of the phones themselves that bother me. It’s the price of the plans. I don’t actually use my phone for calling. (Does anybody?) I use my cell phone for what God intended: texting. And for checking my email. Even though I don’t make calls, I have this dire need to be CONNECTED at all times. I use it to chat with Heidi and Ethan Stone and my friend Wendy, and even my husband when he’s at work. But I can’t stand the fact that I have to start with a base package of $40 per month for calling alone, when I don’t EVER call. All I want is data.

Like I said. I’m cheap.

I do have a cell phone. It’s actually a pseudo-smartphone. I call it the Ghetto Phone. It has a little slide-out keyboard like a real smartphone. It’s a no-contract, pay-as-you-go plan. I have 300 minutes of talk time (which I barely use at all). The cool thing? I have unlimited messaging and data, and I only pay $25 per month! What a rockin’ deal, right?

Wrong.

Because you see, it really is a Ghetto Phone. It’s a poor-man’s smartphone. It has a browser, but it can’t seem to load the most basic pages. I can check email, but only one account at a time. There are no fun apps to download. I can’t ask it where the nearest Starbucks is. I can’t use it to find my way home. I can take pictures, but the resolution is terrible, and I can’t instantly upload them to anyplace in the world. I also own an iPod Touch -- one of the old ones without a camera -- so if I happen to end up somewhere with WiFi, I can pretend I have a real smartphone. On my trips with Heidi, I shamelessly beg her to use her smartphone hotspot to hook me up. “I need my fix!” I tell her.

Most of the time, I get by. I can check my email, although it’s cumbersome. I can chat with online friends, but only if cell reception is good. At Mile High Stadium, where I spend many Sundays from August through January watching the Broncos play, the reception is awful. I sit there with my Ghetto Phone in one hand, searching for a signal, iPod in the other, searching for an unsecured hotspot I can jump on.

It’s pathetic, I know. Someday, I’ll find a way to justify spending more on my monthly cell phone bill. Someday, I’ll be one of the cool kids, with games on my phone, and cool little apps that can land the space shuttle or tell me the secret of life. Of course by that time, smartphones will probably be a thing of the past, as irrelevant as a Sony Walkman. Until that time, I’ll continue using my ghetto phone. Pity me, my friends. It is a terrible burden to bear.

*****

Just released by Silver Publishing!

Blurb

Captain Tristan Kelley enjoys the luxuries of Regency service, as well as the pleasure of his prince's bed. It's an easy life, if not a happy one. When the prince decides to take a trip through the perilous Blind Space, Tristan must go with him, but somebody in the prince's guard is a traitor.

Blind and held prisoner, Tristan finds himself at the mercy of Valero, a pirate who bears no love for the Regency. Valero is determined to seduce Tristan, and Tristan fears his resolve won't last. His duty is clear, but so is his desire. As the days tick by without word from the Regency, Tristan begins to question his loyalty to his prince, the Regency he's sworn to, and the man who holds him captive.

Tristan begins to realize that being a prisoner may actually set him free.

Bio: Marie Sexton writes male/male romance. She lives in Colorado. She’s a fan of just about anything that involves muscular young men piling on top of each other. In particular, she loves the Denver Broncos and enjoys going to the games with her husband, even if her Ghetto Phone doesn’t get reception there. Marie has one daughter, two cats, and one dog, all of whom seem bent on destroying what remains of her sanity. She loves them anyway.

Me, out and about:

My website/blog: www.MarieSexton.net

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MarieSexton.author

Twitter: http://twitter.com/MarieSexton

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3292500.Marie_Sexton

Goodreads group: http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/48765.The_Heidi_and_Marie_Show

And be sure to join me for Coffee and Porn in the Morning: http://cupoporn.wordpress.com.

6 comments:

widdershins said...

Pretty soon it'l be just a tiny bio-organic chip that's painlessly inserted into the base of our brain when we're born, and we'll be 'wired' to the entire world with the blink of an eye-lid ... every ... single ... moment ... of ...our ... lives.

Wendy S Russo said...

@widdershins I'm an always online kind of person, but that thought actually frightens me!

And, I just tried to imagine my day without Marie's happy green dot in my chat client. *shiver*

Marie Sexton said...

@widdershins: I think my desire to be connected stops somewhere short of having my brain hardwired. LOL.

And Wendy, yes. Chat is good. :-)

Lisabet Sarai said...

Hey, Marie,

Sorry I wasn't here to welcome you earlier. What a hilarious post! I nearly sprayed my espresso all over my husband's desk!

If it makes you feel any better, I don't have a smartphone either, though all my students do. I have a Nokia model called "Classic". Yes, that's right, no touch screen, no QWERTY keyboard, no real "apps", but hey, it makes phone calls.

I'm sorry, but I don't want to carry around a device worth a significant chunk of my monthly salary. Too much of a risk!

Thanks for being my guest, and good luck with Blind Space!

Marie Sexton said...

Thanks very much for having me! :-)

Naomi Bellina said...

No smart phone and proud of it! I finally broke down and can now check emails from my simple phone, which I love to do. I'm going to see how long I can live without all the other stuff, because not only am I cheap, I'm lazy and the thought of figuring out another electronic device makes my head hurt!

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